It took me a few days after the big realization that I am a sub, to share it with husband. We’ve been doing days of research and communicating and setting limits. Now, one of his biggest problems is entering into the community. He sees it as a place I will be hit on, and somehow would want to invite others to join us. He is a very jealous person. (Which I love, mostly). How do I get the support from the community/like minded people, while he learns it can be a safe, respectful place?
Well, my best suggestion is get off the Internet. Online communities harbor a lot of horny people who only want to hook up with anyone who identifies as female. Face to face communities are not really meat markets and those that are will announce the intention. It’s like a club or support group first and to be honest the bulk of people there will already be in relationships.
Is there any reason he can’t go to these groups with you to “protect” you? You’ll be treated with respect at the groups you attend, but this way he’ll feel he’s doing something to fend of those invisible slimey hands he’s seeing in his head. I don’t mean that bad – I too have a very protective jealous type owning me.
FetLife is a poor example of someplace respectable because the anonymity of the place brings out the worst in people. But, if you want to find real groups, many of them list their events there since it is a social community for kinky peoples.
What do you say folks? How do you alleviate the fears of jealous Doms when you want to go get support from the community?