At the Nudie Pool

Posted by TheSubMission on Thursday Jul 30, 2015 Under Uncategorized

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Oh my word, it was just so hot this past weekend.  It was almost in the triple digits Saturday and Sunday, but the worst part was the humidity.  We have a nice little four-sided tent out back, and we like to hang out there when it’s really hot.  We set up the kitty pool and had our own little private area out there.

 

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I hadn’t been in a bathing suit, either, because we’re trying not to have any tight spandex over my port yet.  So I was just in a giant shirt and shorts.  Nothing fancy.  It didn’t take too long to take my clothes off.  Why on Earth did we buy a house?  Oh, yeah, so we can be hedonists in the summer without risking disturbing the neighbors.

 

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It was so fun.  I still hate the summer, but if you have to be sweating balls, you may as well be nude in your yard in a kitty pool.

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Dom/me Question: My Sub Isn’t Very Good At Communicating

Posted by cinful on Wednesday Jul 29, 2015 Under BDSM

I have come to a very real, and potentially very bad place in my D/S relationship: We are both pretty new to the scene and to be expected I’m not very good at it, but my sub isn’t very good at communicating, what she wants/needs, so we are at a semi impasse. The most I…

The post Dom/me Question: My Sub Isn’t Very Good At Communicating appeared first on .

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BDSM Class is a “Hit”

Posted by thedailyflogger (BDSM SATIRE) on Wednesday Jul 29, 2015 Under News

HAMPTON, NORTH DAKOTA

27 students were non-consensually subjected to a workshop filled with puns, wordplay, and occasional malapropisms, according to a local dungeon owner.

“We were as shocked as anyone, when Master Kevin did little in the way of actual instruction, but launched into what appeared to me a poorly rehearsed stand up comedy routine,” said Hanley Dermott, 43, owner of the BDSM Club The Vault.

The class in question, “Getting into the Swing of Things: Basic Flogging Technique” was sold as a BDSM skills class.  According to one attendee, things started to go awry when the presenter, Master Kevin, told the assembled kinksters that his partner couldn’t join them because she was “a little tied up right now” as he flashed pictures of her on the big screen TV, showing some elaborate rope work.

“It wasn’t funny,” said Michelle Cross, 22.  “I mean I’ve only been around a year and I have heard all those jokes before.”

When attendees attempted to leave, Master Kevin engaged in some very personal heckling and insult, leaving the other class members feeling uncomfortable.  The set included jokes about bondage, spanking and flogging, oral and anal sex, and submission.

“We would have left, but we just were afraid he’d attack us,” said Gerald Brin, a 53 year old Master.  “He was getting very personal.  Kind of like Don Rickles but not funny.”

Master Kevin refused to respond to repeated requests, only telling The Daily Flogger that the class was “brand spanking new” and that it was “a bit hit.”

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Ask Anything – I’m a sub. How do I dom for my submissive husband?

Posted by submissive guide on Wednesday Jul 29, 2015 Under Uncategorized

A Reader Writes:

 

My partner and I are both subs, but differently. He likes being able to give up the control he has to take in his everyday life whereas I’m just inherently submissive – there are literally things I can’t do/won’t remember to do daily without someone in charge. I can switch theoretically but when it comes time for me to take charge just draw blanks and stall most of the time. I’m very accepting and accomodating of his kinks but I feel like I fall short in pleasing him entirely. He likes dirty talk and restriction mostly; any tips on becoming more comfortable in those areas?

 

 

Ahh… The fun and challenge of “Service Topping.”

 

Rev does a great job of examining the different aspects of Service Topping here.

 

There’s also a neat post on our sister site, submissiveguide.com, about service topping from a submissive’s point of view.

 

As for how to do the things that your hubby specifically enjoys, here are a few tools:

 

Here’s a great post on submissive guide about learning how to talk dirty.

 

Rev has a great post about specifically using your (Dominant) words (dirty or not).

 

Those should help you with the vocal stylings.

 

As for restriction, that all depends on what “restriction” means to you.  If you’re talking rope bondage, I highly recommend doing some research (anything by the Two Knotty Boys can be a good resource, as can Kink Academy, and Kink University – links to both can be found on the site – usually in the upper-right corner of the site – and both of which have videos from the TKB).

 

But you can also use equipment like cuffs, spreader bars, or harnesses (all (Want to read more...)

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Ask lunaKM – I Feel Addicted to My Dominant

Posted by submissive guide on Wednesday Jul 29, 2015 Under Relationships

i was just wondering if it okay to feel almost addicted to your Dom? Like when my Dom is away for too long i feel sad and lonely, but if He is gone for a day or two i get really depressed not being able to be near Him. The feelings i have for Him is almost as if i am addicted to Him. Not sure if this is normal, and not sure how to explain how i feel inside, but i feel like everything revolves around Him and i completely and fully want to give myself to Him in all ways. i never felt so strongly about previous Doms so it is new to me. i think of Him constantly and cannot seem to focus without Him. Is this normal when you finally find “The One”? Like i said, i have never felt this way for anyone else.

Dear Addicted,

Congrats on your intense love and joy in your relationship. You’ve learned to connect with someone so powerfully that you are feeling withdrawals when apart. It’s likely he’s feeling a similar response if the feelings are mutual. Love is a drug. The neurochemistry of romance/relationships might be interesting to read about but what is happening for you  is basically Oxytocin/Dopamine/PEA withdrawal. The power of lust and love can do crazy things to a person’s emotional balance. It causes obsession, frenzy, anxiety and stress when you are apart from someone you feel strongly for.

Don’t blame yourself for feeling this way. Things that help:

  • Use artificial brain crutches. Make detailed to-do lists, and don’t be ashamed to put basic stuff like EAT LUNCH on them. Completing things on your to do list and being productive can provide an alternate source of Dopamine: download a to-do list app like Remember the (Want to read more...)
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Eye Spy

Posted by mollyskiss on Wednesday Jul 29, 2015 Under Masturbation, Voyeurism

Eye Spy

Macro shot of eye
I know you are watching me, I can feel your eyes on me exploring my flesh. Women are not meant to do this, we are supposed to draw the curtains, turn the light out, hide beneath the covers. We are not supposed to stand in the window and let you watch but when you see…
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End of the Contract

Posted by TheSubMission on Wednesday Jul 29, 2015 Under Uncategorized

Master’s job contract at the place he’s currently working ended last week, and we have no actual news either way.  This place he works?  They are really lax with hiring people.  There’s some kind of clause that unless they tell him to stop coming in, he still has a job there so he still has to show up.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to show up, either.  He loves this job.  We were both just kind of hoping for something a little more..  News-y?  I mean, he is technically still under contract, but with no “drop date” we have no idea when or if they plan to hire him.  It could be another six days or six months, and they may fire him just as easily as they may hire him.

Obviously, there’s nothing else in his lineup and he is hoping to get hired on, so Master is going to stay for now.  It’s just frustrating not knowing when we’ll have real insurance or benefits of any kind.  Plus, there’s no security in a contract.

So, technically there’s no real “news” to get excited over, but the signs are still pointing to hiring.  They have given him control over a couple of projects, and the headhunter working with Master says that he hasn’t received a single complaint about Master.  We’re hopeful, but we’re not letting our breath out yet.

::Gets back on the waiting train for another ride::

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When The Floods Roll Back

Posted by K8 on Tuesday Jul 28, 2015 Under K8

I've been suicidal off and on, here and there, since I was 14 years old – half of my life. My depression began a bit earlier, at ten or eleven, and my anxiety began, I suspect, in the womb (or, given the intense history of mental illness and addiction in my family, pre-conception). My actual attempts have been few and half-hearted, but the thought is ever-present. I've called hotlines a handful of times, written final letters once every year or two, and reached for an actual implement even less frequently. Nevertheless, the idea is more or less always there. I have often thought that it will probably be there forever.

I have also often thought that I'm okay with that.

In the strangest of ways, fixating on killing myself has made me feel more attached to life. I'm not stuck here. There's always that choice, and over and over again I make the choice to stay. Daily, in my worse times, and weekly even in the best, I have the thought but still decide to stay. Less, I think, because I necessarily view life, the universe and everything as worth sticking around for; more, perhaps, because I am innately stubborn.

I have trouble sometimes understanding that other people don't live their lives in this way, that they don't wake up every morning and reassure themselves with the thought that they are making an active decision to stick around. At this point, I don't even know if my impulses would be called suicidal ideation so much as echolalia, that odd autistic trait of comforting oneself with a repeated phrase. I comfort myself with bits of poetry and strings of numbers, with quotes from TV shows and repetitions of "Katie is a good girl." Images of my own suicide serve the same (Want to read more...)

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We were conversing over Skype. It was late on her end and not so late on mine. We were talking about the distance between us, again. I’d just come back from seeing her in person for the first time, and we were sharing our surprise at how much we missed each other only days later.

I said, if I could get on a plane and come back, I would.

I know, was the reply. (Suddenly I feel all Han Solo – J)

And then the comment was made. I’m not even sure what it was anymore, or which of us said it (though I suspect it was her (it was – J)). The gist was that the distance between us was brutal, that eight hours on a plane was severely unpleasant. But the phrase, eight hours had somehow come out as eight miles.

OH GOD I WISH. I remember she said this because it was in all caps. Eight miles were much more convenient than eight hours on a plane, we agreed. And from then on, the distance between us was not measured in real miles (4,324), nor in hours (anywhere from the proposed eight to a deeply disgusting twenty including layovers), but a magical combination between the two: Eight Miles.

It’s only eight miles, we’d say. Or, I’ll see you in eight miles. It had, quite simply, become a euphemism. A way to pretend that we were closer to each other than we actually were. It worked for a while. It made us feel better. It was our own secret joke.

Eventually, the time between making the joke increased, and then stopped. I don’t think that we’ve mentioned it in the last year or so, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that it’s been the hardest (Want to read more...)

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Enhanced

Posted by TheSubMission on Tuesday Jul 28, 2015 Under Health

power port 1

Last Monday was my surgery for my portacath.  Thankfully, it was ridiculously early in the morning, so I didn’t have a heck of a lot of time to get too nervous.  They were running behind and it took them nearly an hour just to bring me back to pre-op.  PRE-op.  That was annoying, but I survived it.  I had the nurse I had a few months ago when I needed minor stomach surgery, and she remembered me!

“Aren’t you the one who passes out a lot?”

Why yes, yes, that is me.  She’s really nice but she couldn’t understand why I was getting a port.  I told her to help my POTS and she asks why I can’t just drink water.  I told her I’m currently not even allowed to drink water because my cardiologist has me drinking three liters of Pedialyte a day.  She was shocked.  I wish nurses would honestly just stop grilling me about things.  I have a pretty rare illness to begin with, so it’s not like I’ll be able to explain to her in the ten or fifteen minutes before I’m done being prepped why I need my port.  You could always call my doctor up if you really want to know.  It’s not that I mind explaining, but they just don’t get it (unless they’ve encountered POTS before) so it’s just frustrating.  Like I said though, she was very nice and she even managed to get my IV in on the first shot.  (She was breaking out all the tricks!  Ha!)

At that point, Master and me were kind of annoyed (but not with the nurse) because we had been in the hospital for a while and not seen my surgeon or spoken with my anesthesiologist.  The nurses kept talking about how I didn’t need (Want to read more...)

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