Being Waited On

Posted by TheSubMission on Thursday Jan 29, 2015 Under Uncategorized

It’s kind of like being sick, and it’s something new I have to get used to, until Master finds a job anyway.  He’s had some interviews lately, but no biters yet.  Either way, the truth of the matter is that I’m the only one with a job right now, and so I’m working as hard as I can as often as I am able to work.  I love being on cam, and it’s not a burden to me to have to do it more.  It’s just that before it was more of a hobby for when Master wasn’t home so that I could be productive and maybe earn some vacation money, and now it’s just more important that I’m on as much as possible.

Thing is, since it’s our main form of income right now Master is doing everything in his power to help me get ready faster in the morning so that I can be online longer.  Sometimes he will bring in some caffeine and put in next to me while I am still in bed to help me get up faster.  Sometimes he will make breakfast for me while I am in the shower, or blow my hair dry while I eat said breakfast.  They are little things, yes, and I know why he is doing them.  He’s not doing them as service to me, he is doing them in order to get me on cam faster so I can spend more of the day at work.  It makes sense when I think about it, but I can’t help but feel like he’s waiting on me at times.

I realize that he isn’t waiting on me.  I’m not even asking him to do these things.  He’ll just bring me some food or come over when I am eating (Want to read more...)

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Bodies and Battlegrounds

Posted by K8 on Wednesday Jan 28, 2015 Under K8
Oy. Gather round, children. Get ready for some self-indulgent, self-defeating, repetitive claptrap.

So, I'm not a small girl. I've talked here in the past about my struggles with my eating disorder in junior high and high school, with body acceptance, with jealousy regarding other girls' figures. It's not a surprise to anyone who reads this or who knows me that I have a lot of body shame.

What I don't usually come right out and say is that I'm fat.

I am, though. I'm a good 35-40 pounds above the highest "healthy" weight for my height, and my BMI (useless stat though it is) hovers between the overweight and obese categories. Mind you, I've been fatter. I'm on the tallish side at 5'7 when I don't slouch, and I bottomed out down below 100lbs with anorexia, and spiralled upwards to 240 in university with a combination of binge eating and anti-depressants. That, my friends, is no way to treat your body.

Starting at puberty - which, for me, started at nine years old with hips that my sewing teacher poked and prodded and referred to as my "childbearing hips" - I do not remember a day where I did not obsess about my size. I did what is likely irreparable damage to my organs - in particular, my heart, which still functions abnormally to this day - but even worse damage to my mind. Food is not just food for me, and it probably never will be. It's a mortal enemy, or my only friend. While I managed to lose a chunk of my binged-on weight (in part by finding out my body wasn't actually capable of processing gluten or dairy properly, which formed a large part of my diet), I plateaued well above where I had ever intended to (Want to read more...)
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So, I am very new to this. I met Sir online and he asked me what do I expect from this relationship?  My question is how do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect.  I know I expect him to teach me everything,  to help me learn my limits.  Any help with this would be great.

You are in a very common situation that novice submissives tend to find themselves in. You’ve jumped into a relationship because you think that is what you need, when in fact what you need first is to know what you need and expect in a relationship. A lot of your current issue could have been avoided if you had sat down first and figured out what your idea Dominant would be and what sort of relationship you are looking for.

Granted, that’s all hindsight now, but the work can still be done. You can still figure out what sort of submissive you are and what things you might enjoy so that you can answer this man’s questions. So, get a notebook out because you are going to have to do some homework. Here are a few things you should try to answer so that you can help this Dominant know what’s expected of him and yourself during this relationship.

1. Think about what submissive means to you. How would you define that to someone else? What does it look like from someone in the know looking in? Do the same for Dominant. What does that mean to you and how would you define that to someone else?

2. What type of relationship are you seeking? Do you want online only or face to face? Do you know if you want to submit full-time or for specified periods of time (Want to read more...)

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Speaker Has Theory on Community Boycott of “Vicitimization” Class

Posted by thedailyflogger (BDSM SATIRE) on Wednesday Jan 28, 2015 Under News

GREEN BAY, WASHINGTON

Sheila Keyes, 26, was surprised to find that only three people showed up for her class on victimization at her local dungeon. The class was attended by her Master, Marv Gulick, 28, and two “friends who wanted to show her some support.”

The class, titled “It Isn’t Ever Your Fault: Embracing the Victim Mentality” was a new class for Keyes, based largely on her personal experience over the past 8 years in the BDSM scene.

The class focused on Keyes’ upbringing and the damage her parents instilled, followed by a series of detailed vignettes about everyone in the lifestyle who had ever harmed her. After a short break, the class concluded with what she called “My Five Biggest Mistakes and Why I am Not Responsible For Any of Them.”

According to Keyes, “You can always find someone to blame for your problems. It never has to be your fault. Realizing that is incredibly liberating. If you can’t find a person to blame, just blame society, racism, sexism, or someone else’s privilege.”

When asked why the class was so small, Keyes had some theories. “There are quite a few people out there who don’t want this message heard. I am sure they threatened people and made them stay away. It couldn’t possibly be anything I did. They are just out to get me. To destroy me for speaking the truth.”

Dungeon organizers blamed a lack of promotion and Keyes’ reputation in the community as a complainer.

“I think people are just sick of hearing her complain,” said Kevin Carls, owner of the dungeon. “I’m sure she’ll blame us for her class flopping. She never takes responsibility for anything.”

Photo credit: Fernanda do Canto CC: NC

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Ask Anything – Difficulty with Open/Poly Friends?

Posted by submissive guide on Wednesday Jan 28, 2015 Under Uncategorized

A reader asks:

I have just recently been exposed to the BDSM life style.  My freinds are a Daddy/girl.  I have had sex with Daddy.  I am not a submissive.  I am concerned how my relationship with girl will be affected.  Both state they are honest with each other – they are.  I would rather the man NOT be so honest because i am sure this is difficult for her.  She says not her issue. Really? am I hurting her?

 

Good questions!  Unfortunately, the only person who can accurately answer them is your friend.  If you’ve asked, and she’s answered in this manner, then you would be best served to take her at her word.  If, on the other hand, her actions speak louder than her words, and tell you that she is hurt, then you will either need to address it (possibly with both of them), and/or decide to leave the situation.  If you’re not comfortable with the situation, then I would suggest that you tackle it as soon as possible, so that you can make a decision.

But looking at this more broadly, what I see is an example of someone (you, Dear Reader) encountering what appears to be an open (possibly polyamorous) relationship for the first time.

Now THAT, is a whole can of worms.  I can’t tackle it all in one letter, but I’ll do my best to touch on it lightly, and provide some other resources, should you feel inclined to do some research.

 

Polyamory is a big, BIG topic.

 

And, like with most “big topics” in the world of the alternative lifestyles we’re living, it’s not easily pinned down. There is a great article on Submissive Guide that answers the question, “what is polyamory, anyway?”

You mentioned that (Want to read more...)

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Male Submissive Porn and Me

Posted by TheSubMission on Wednesday Jan 28, 2015 Under Uncategorized

It should be obvious by now that I’m a bit of a pervert.  I like porn, and to be honest, I don’t care who is in said porn.  Of course I have my preferences.  There are certain features I enjoy more than others, I’m only human.  I don’t really have time to look at a ton of video porn, but I admit to looking at quite a bit of Tumblr smut throughout the day.  It’s easy to look at my phone and see a picture here and there as I get a spare minute or two when we’re out and about or at home.

Sometimes, when I see something I think Master will like, I send him a link to the pictures.  Recently, he asked me why there were so many pictures that had male submissives instead of females.

To be honest, it kind of caught me off guard.  As a pansexual person, I find myself attracted to all genders.  Literally, I don’t care if you’re male, female, trans, etc.  If I like you, I like you regardless of genitals.  I also don’t take issue with male submissives.  I know a lot of people don’t like male submissives, and while I wouldn’t seek out a relationship with one (or play with one without another dominant present to run the show) seeing them in the middle of something kinky doesn’t make me feel any less turned on than seeing someone who identifies as female in the same position.

I just don’t distinguish between genders and attraction.  Master is not turned on by the male form, and I sometimes forget that.  I really do.  I see some sexy boy in bondage or otherwise playing with his Master or Mistress or Top or etc, and I can easily see myself in said position or (Want to read more...)

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Dungeon Voices: Charity

Posted by thedailyflogger (BDSM SATIRE) on Tuesday Jan 27, 2015 Under News

Do you give a lot of money to charity?


girl1_sized
I fuck homeless men, does that count?

-Danielle Hooper, 22, Waitress


girl 4 pc 26
Who’s Charity? And why should I give her money?

-Bethany Quisp, 29, Postal Inspector


man2 pc28
I contribute a lot of money to phone sex workers. They have a rough life, so I would call that charitable giving.

-David Mills, 53, DMV Information Agent

Photo credits: Jasper Gregory, (cc), HM Revenue & Customs (cc)

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Creating Realistic Goals You Can Reach in 2015

Posted by submissive guide on Tuesday Jan 27, 2015 Under Uncategorized

Last year I wrote about the importance of revising your contracts at the start of the New Year so you can make sure that it reflects your current relationship parameters and hard/soft limits.  I’m still a single submissive, and (for the time being) I’m enjoying this journey of self-discovery and self-improvement.  One thing that single submissives must always remember is that the time that we spend by ourselves is just as important as the time spent with Dominants and Masters.  They will appreciate that we are constantly seeking to improve ourselves, even without guidance; having goals will help to keep you on track.

The most important thing about goals is that you have to balance desires (“I want to lose weight”) with reality (“I only have time to go to the gym X times per week even though I should be going Y times per week”).  Does this mean you have to hedge your bets, so to speak?  Not at all.  In fact, I enjoy pushing myself with my goals.  However, I like to set my goals up in such a way that I’m excited to start working on them.  I started working on my goals in December 2014, and by the time January came around, I was ready to go.  If you have a goal that will require some unpleasant work (quitting a vice, for example) then you need to psych yourself up well in advance so that you don’t get bogged down.  You have to want it to work, or else it won’t work at all.

This year I’ve done myself very proud by creating my best goals yet.  They’re so organized that I have them listed under three sub-categories (no pun intended…): Personal, Professional, and Fitness.  I’ll share a few of my goals (Want to read more...)

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February Again…

Posted by mollyskiss on Monday Jan 26, 2015 Under Photography

February Again…

February Photofest 2015
If you have been visiting here for over a year then hopefully you will remember February Photofest which was an insane idea that I concocted last year. As part of my 101 things in 1001 days list I had set myself the task of posting an image a day for a whole month. February, due…
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Beg, Brat

Posted by TheSinDoll on Monday Jan 26, 2015 Under Uncategorized

She told him to stay away. Mark showed up on her doorstep the next day. They both sat on the couch. Anna had a huge plastic cup of water. Her breathing was labored but seemed to be settling. She was completely naked and sore. Strands of her dark hair stuck to her face and breasts. [...]

The post Beg, Brat appeared first on The Sin Doll.

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