The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent
Posted by cinful on Friday Sep 3, 2010 Under BDSM, SubmissionThis is a guest post by Darkrose.
BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people its pretty easy to define abuse.
Webster’s Dictionary defines abuse as “improper use or handling, misuse, physical maltreatment,insulting or coarse language;To force sexual activity on; rape or molest.”
Most of us in the the BDSM world would take that definition and say, “but I like that stuff”. How do you define abuse if the way the dictionary defines it just does not apply to you?
In most of our relationships some, if not all, of these things happen on a regular basis. Personally I’m rather fond of being molested and mishandled and its difficult for me to remember a time I didn’t need some sort of “insulting or coarse language” to even get in the mood to begin with. I absolutely love name calling and otherwise not very nice talk.
A lot of people in the lifestyle tend to define abuse by rather or not there was consent to whatever awful thing was going on at the time. Consent is vital in any type of power exchange relationship, but I think that a lot of people don’t really think that through completely. How many people really want to get hit with that particular awful, terrible, horrible, frightening, painful thing that you know just about every top on the planet has at least one of? How many of us would happily break said awful thing or at least hide it if we didn’t know for a fact they’d just find something even worse to hit us with and they’d make it suck ten times worse to be us for breaking/hiding the original thing? How many (Want to read more...)
