Ask lunaKM – How To Approach Dommes on FetLife

Posted by submissive guide on Wednesday Jul 23, 2014 Under FetLife, Relationships

Dear Annie,

Well my question is quite simple.

Im a submissive cross dresser from the UK, and have been dressing for many years now. One of the main reasons i dress is because I have a very strong submissive side, and many of the fetishes to go along with that.

My question is simple, I have been looking for many years to find a Domme to either explore and learn from, or to serve. And a few years back joined Fetlife, having previously been on Collarme. And the thing is, that I hear time and time again there are very few Dommes, so they probably get a lot of interest from subs. But what I dont understand is, why are they so negative and rude even if you address them politely, introduce yourself and tell them what you would offer in exchange?

I only contact Dommes that have stated on their profile that we share like minded interests, so Im really trying to figure out how anyone is ever able to build up a positive relationship with a Domme on sites like Fetlife.


Dear Samantha,

Finding a female Dominant is not an easy task, as you are right there are far fewer female Dominants than there are male submissives. That means the female Dominants can be very picky with who they respond to and who they care to meet.

There are a few things about your message that I’d like to address. First, FetLife isn’t built to be a successful dating site. It’s a place to socialize. So if you aren’t participating in discussions and joining groups to converse then you won’t get to know anyone well and you won’t present yourself well either.  Let people get to know you passively through your intelligent conversation, sharing viewpoints (Want to read more...)

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Ask Anything: I’m Afraid My Submissive Has a Serious Problem

Posted by submissive guide on Wednesday Jul 23, 2014 Under Uncategorized

A Reader Writes:



I’m in relationships with my girlfriend for almost year and we are involved in bdsm activities for three months. We started with light bondage and then tried more strict restraints and spanking. At first we considered each other the equal partners but i feel that our relationship have some D/s dynamic because she becomes more and more submissive and her character have changed dramatically: while before we spoke nearly equal part of time we were together, now she is silent the most of time and agrees with me always when i ask her opinion about something.


Recently i have an explicit talk with her and have known an awful thing. Turns out that she never trusted me completely all the time of our relations and also when we played. In fact it was ‘just a game’ only for me, she was really ready to be raped, disabled and even killed by me every time when i have tied her up. She never used safe word although we have an argeement about it and conversation about her limits before to start playing and i reminded it before every session. But now she says that she never believed that all that counts for me. I must say that she is an international student from Russia in my country (Germany) and i am a citizen and german, as well as she is pretty poor and have a single retiree mother at home, while i’m from middle class. So she is really sure that if i do something horrible to her, police will never investigate it properly and i will not be accused and imprisoned because of the difference of our social status.


I feel shocked at this knowledge… I never wished that she submitted (Want to read more...)

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96 Year Old Grandmother Killed in “Birthday Spanking” Snafu

Posted by thedailyflogger (BDSM SATIRE) on Wednesday Jul 23, 2014 Under News


Tragedy ensued Saturday when senior citizen Martha Welsh, 96, stumbled into the Hell’s Inferno Dungeon looking for her fellow seniors to celebrate her birthday. When asked what she was doing in the dungeon, she told onlookers, “It’s my birthday.”

Unbeknownst to the 96 year old woman, the dungeon has a long standing tradition of giving birthday spankings, requiring one stroke or spank for each year.

It wasn’t until they were into the upper 60s that anyone realized something was wrong.

“She wasn’t really dressed for it,” Mistress Megan, a 27 year old dominatrix told The Daily Flogger, “but when you get a grandma, you sort of expect she’s gonna be wearing granny panties, so it didn’t seem unusual.”

By the time they had gotten to 85 strokes, the woman had become unresponsive.

“We thought she understood,” said Dungeon owner Gary Maddox.  “We asked her point blank.  You are 96, you know what that means, right?”

According to witnesses, the elder Mrs. Welsh responded, “Yes, I do young man.  I know perfectly well what that means.”

At that point the spanking proceeded.

“She seemed to be enjoying it at first,” said slave Kevin, who even managed to get in a few spanks in the round robin beating, “but by the time we hit 90, she was just staring blankly.  She got real quiet.  We probably should have stopped.”

EMTs were called to the scene, but were unable to revive the elderly woman.

Photo credit: Daniel cc: by nc

The post 96 Year Old Grandmother Killed in “Birthday Spanking” Snafu appeared first on The Daily Flogger.

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Stealth Puff

Posted by TheSubMission on Wednesday Jul 23, 2014 Under Uncategorized



We’ve been doing lots of ropey things lately, which has been really fun.  It has been so hot here lately though, and it isn’t cooling off at night like it normally does.  As soon as the temp outside is below 80* we usually open all the windows.  The AC unit is mostly fixed up, but it is still a piece of crap which dies if you run it too long (and yes, five or six hours is too long, apparently).  AHEM.

Since the windows are all open at night, to try to keep the place cool, Master has been trying to be a bit stealthier.  We have a huge porch door which is on the other side of my kitty nest, so anyone walking by could see me in my nest and it’s not really polite (or respectful) to expose people to bondage without their prior consent.  At least, that’s our opinion.

There is no longer a need for the Grumble Puff upstairs now that we have my sleeping restraints all rearranged, so Master thought we could just put it in as part of my kitty nest as a treat from time to time.  (It’s ugly, totally, but it’s so snuggly I don’t care).  So, Master set it up, had me sit in it, and bound my calves together tightly.  It was fun because afterwards when he tucked me in, no one outside knew, and I couldn’t stop smiling because I had this sexy sisal secret under my Grumble Puff!  Tee hee.  <3



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Do You Like Rope?

Posted by thedailyflogger (BDSM SATIRE) on Tuesday Jul 22, 2014 Under Uncategorized

Do you enjoy rope play?

man2 pc28
No, but I do enjoy reading the endless arguments and debates about it online.

-Kip B., 57, Stunt Pilot

Yes, but I spell it with an A instead of an O.

-Kim Clark, 19, Advisor to the Mayor

girl 4 pc 26
I only let people who teach classes tie me, which turns out to be everyone.

-Janet P., 22, Professional Knitter

Photo credits: Jasper Gregory

(cc), HM Revenue & Customs (cc)

The post Do You Like Rope? appeared first on The Daily Flogger.

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July 21 Weekend Update

Posted by TheSubMission on Tuesday Jul 22, 2014 Under Bondage, Health

The weekend went pretty well.  Saturday was full of running around, which is never fun.  Master and me do most of the errands together (seeing as I can’t drive), but it was 105* out on Saturday so it was super hot and we were both annoyed.  We spent most of the weekend doing a lot of sewing.  I got a few custom orders for the Mewtique and we’re also working on some new stuff so there is always something to do there.

I feel like every time I take a few steps forward, I take a few back.  I’ve been really sick the last few weeks, but not with anything new.  I have had stomach problems for a few years now, and we’re waiting on the hospital to call us back so we can set up testing for the end of the year.  Since our deductible was used up on my last surgery, the co pay will be next to nothing so now is finally the time to get it fixed.  I haven’t been sleeping well because of it and it’s impacting my day to day which means my POTS has been set back a bit.  I’m still doing better than I was a year ago, just that progress is slowing as this other problem is getting worse.  It’ll be okay, I know this.  Master and me are both hoping (as always, I guess) that this is one of those last major things and then I’ll be able to function a lot better than before.  I mean, it has been one Hell of a year, but I have overcome a lot too.  Each time I overcome something things get a little easier, so fingers crossed.  In the meantime, I’m just trying to go about my normal day and routine and (Want to read more...)

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Posted by mollyskiss on Tuesday Jul 22, 2014 Under Poetry


The last chance, the last wait, the last pause, the last date The last look, the last touch, the last kiss, it’s all too much The last dance, you and me, witness by this very tree . The last breath, the last word, the last goodbye, the last thing heard The last time, the last…
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Sen. Jim DeMint Shocked to Discover Rob Halford “Gay Leatherman”

Posted by thedailyflogger (BDSM SATIRE) on Tuesday Jul 22, 2014 Under News, Politics


Conservative Former Senator Jim DeMint is reportedly “shocked and saddened” to learn that Judas Priest frontman and hard core heavy metal rocker Rob Halford is both gay and a leatherman.

“I always thought he was just rocking out,” DeMint told The Daily Flogger in a phone interview.  “Before we would vote on an important piece of legislation or when we had a big debate about how to ban abortion or stop science from ruining our schools I would blast Living After Midnight or Painkiller.”

Now, for DeMint, it is all tainted.  Known for his staunch conservative views, the former lawmaker always thought Halford was just a “badass rocker” and never considered that all the leather, whips, and chains was a symbol of his sexuality.

Ken Malcheck, art and music critic for the SF Weekly found the denial implausible.  “Halford has been dressing like a Tom of Finland drawing for 30 years, plus he came out very publicly as a gay man in like 1998.  It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the music anymore.”

DeMint disagreed.  “It ruins it for me.  I’ll never be able to see the band as anything other than a gay leather experience.  And that is something I can’t abide.  Hot men, dressed in leather, flexing and growling and throwing another man down and savagely violating him, while his victim protests and tries to get away, but he’s just too strong and takes him right then and there, leaving him a sweaty, broken mess.  Disgusting!”

The former Senator now leads the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, and told The Daily Flogger, he is “no longer a Priest fan.”  Instead, his pre-meeting ritual has changed.  “I get pumped up for policy discussions now with my other favorite band, Queen.”

Photo credit: Gage (Want to read more...)

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Book Review: Processing Pain in Play

Posted by submissive guide on Tuesday Jul 22, 2014 Under Books, Reviews

I got the chance to buy lunaKM’s new version of Processing Pain in Play a littler earlier than everyone else because I had previously purchased the book. And, I hate to admit this, but despite purchasing the previous version of Processing Pain, I had not read it. *hangs head in shame* I know, I know. I had purchased this book because well, I needed to re-learn how to process pain in play. I am a huge masochist and due to circumstances, I had to go awhile without any play and because of that, my pain tolerance isn’t quite where I want it to be and that’s something that made me sad. And because of that, my processing techniques were a bit rusty. So when I got the email from luna saying that the new version of Processing Pain in Play was out, I bought it and instantly downloaded it and started reading because well, I wasn’t going to allow this second copy to sit in my Google Drive folder for the next six months.

I am so happy that I decided to start reading instantly. Once I started reading, it was rather hard for me to stop. I devoured this book and the whole time I was reading, I could feel the gears in my brain clicking and making connections on how to improve my pain management. Not only that, but I learned the previous ways I was processing pain wasn’t exactly the best way to process pain.

Luna starts out the book by explaining about all the wonderful happy hormones that make the masochists get all those warm and fuzzy feelings from the pain. I love that she does this because it is so important to know what’s going on in the body during play. She also talks about (Want to read more...)

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Dominant Guide Chat Night- Thursday July 24th, Open Topic

Posted by submissive guide on Tuesday Jul 22, 2014 Under Discussion
  • It’s time for another chat night here on Dominant Guide!  It’s open topic- anything and everything can be discussed. Bring your questions or a curiosity about Dominant/submissive relationships. Whether you identify as Dominant, submissive, switch, unsure or are just curious, you’re welcome to join us for this informal monthly get together.InfoWhen: 7/2-4/14  8 PM CST – 9:30 PM CST (Not in CST? Find out the time where you are!)

    Where: Chat room on the website, or use an IRC Client

    Topic: Free chat


    The chat room is attached to this site under the link at the top, or you can click this link here.  It will ask for your nickname and then automatically connect you to the chat room. It’s open all the time, so if you want to meet some people, hang out in there, you’re welcome. I try to be there when I’m at my computer too.

    If you use an IRC desktop client you can connect to the server directly. Here is the information you need to find the room:

    Port: 6667
    Channel: #dominant-guide

    Questions? Let me know. Otherwise I hope to see a lot of you there on Thursday!



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