Getting Over Your Fears to Talk About Your Newfound Desires

Posted by submissive guide on Monday Feb 8, 2016 Under Uncategorized

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/10/15

A friend of mine called me up the other day to talk. She wanted to know how to talk to her partner about some new kink desires that she had. See she’s what I have always considered kink-lite compared to the way KnyghtMare and I live so while she’s easy to get along with we don’t usually connect on a kink level. They’ve dabbled in the bedroom a bit but nothing more than that. She’s started having desires for more but had a few hang ups she wanted advice on how to get over. First, she’s shy when it comes to talking about sex or her body. She’s afraid of being rejected and she’s not sure how her partner will respond. She repeated over and over that she doesn’t want to lose him over this but she would really like to explore more than they currently are.

It’s a struggle that a lot of you are currently going through as well, if my email inbox is a good example. So, let’s talk about this fear we have and how to overcome it enough to talk to our partners.  First, some assumptions; I’m going to assume that you’ve been in this relationship long enough to have had sex or kinky play for a while and that you are comfortable with them outside the bedroom too. I’d like to assume that your fears are related to how to broach the subject and how they might react. Hopefully I’ll be able to help the majority of you with these assumptions.

Now I know that much of society is pretty hush-hush about anything to do with sex or intimacy and our families don’t talk about it either. So we never learn that it’s okay to talk about sex (Want to read more...)

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Use your words

Posted by mollyskiss on Monday Feb 8, 2016 Under Orgasm Denial

Use your words

Molly laying naked on the bed showing her pussy
I wait on the bed for you while you finish your shower. The sound of the water running is soothing but then it stops and I know you will be walking into the room any minute. I can hear the familiar noises of you in the bathroom as you brush your teeth, the opening and…
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Humiliation Play

Posted by submissive guide on Monday Feb 8, 2016 Under spanking

This is one of the most difficult articles I have written. Humiliation, in my opinion, is edge play. That is, it operates in an area that can have serious consequences. Playing with a loaded gun is another form of edge play. If all goes well, it is a scary, fun experience. One slip and you have a dead play partner. If you don’t think humiliation is dangerous, consider all the suicides that are reported after someone distributes nude or embarrassing pictures of a poor soul who ends up killing themselves unable to face the humiliation of public exposure. Unlike other forms of sensation play, humiliation can have disastrous consequences from what appears to be innocent fun.

Humiliation is a tricky subject. I think it is part of every D/S relationship even if it isn’t consciously intended. My definition of humiliation is very simple. It is exploiting vulnerability. This probably is nowhere near what the psychologists think, but I like it. For example, being naked in a place where others are dressed can be humiliating. Most of us have had naked dreams where we are in front of a large crowd fully exposed. Naked, in this case, makes you vulnerable. The large number of people watching makes it embarrassing and exploits that vulnerability.

There is generally a sexual component to humiliation play; at least the way we practice it. Again, revealing that you are sexually aroused is exposing something private can be humiliating, especially when you reveal it to people you don’t share sex with. Spanking is a very good example of humiliation. The bottom exposes their bare butt and presents it to be hit. Exposing it is creating a vulnerability. Having it swatted exploits that. Many people find that arousing, at least before the swatting gets too painful.

For (Want to read more...)

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Daily Mew #68

Posted by TheSubMission on Sunday Feb 7, 2016 Under Uncategorized

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I don’t have any ostomy covers yet. We ordered one, but it’s in the mail and we don’t have it yet, so I just tried to get a shot with no output in it.

I’m still pretty swollen from the surgery. See that bruise near the appliance? That’s a surgery bruise. There are more on the other side/under/above the bag. See that bruise on my opposite hip? The dark purply one? That’s from a heparin shot. I have more heparin bruises on my arms. Kinda pretty.

Yesterday I felt so awful and we nearly went back to the ER. Today I’m in a lot of pain, but the medicine is making it tolerable. No tears. Thank goodness! I still need help laying down sitting up, standing, etc.

I’m trying to nap as much as possible whenever the meds allow. I’m hoping yesterday was just a really bad day.

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Apple

Posted by mollyskiss on Saturday Feb 6, 2016 Under Uncategorized

Apple

Molly naked holding out bright red apple in her hand
For I am the temptation… Related Posts: An Understatement An Old Friend Alterations My Valentine Christmas Past
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Daily Mew #67

Posted by TheSubMission on Saturday Feb 6, 2016 Under Uncategorized

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I feel like progress is going backwards. I had been able to sit up for bits at a time but now I can only lay flat comfortably. I’m in (intolerable) pain almost constantly despite taking my medicines. I cry off and on. I need help walking to the bathroom even with my walker. I need help sitting, standing, or lying flat. I nap on and off but I wake up in tears out of a complete sleep. I have a lot less output at home than I had in the hospital despite eating more. Even a sheet lying on top of Gob hurts, and I’m on serious painkillers with a relatively high pain tolerance.

The at home nurse said that wasn’t normal for ileostomy surgery and there shouldn’t be much pain around Gob, but there should be some near the stitches, etc. We don’t want to go back to the hospital, but we will if things continue getting worse. The nurse and Master think I may have been released too soon from the hospital. Not surprised.

I’m just trying to hold out until Monday. We will see.

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The X2 Orgasmatron and The Squirter

Posted by submissive guide on Saturday Feb 6, 2016 Under Uncategorized
subguide_inpost_X2withtanus_2616

Or: How a Good Submissive Found Her Dominant Side

by Maria Weis

I have been in the kink scene for a little while. My involvement spawned from not only being a pony player, but also finding my love of whips, electricity and even some fireplay. Since getting involved, I have learned many things about myself. A couple of those being all misconceptions will be broken and never say never because soon you’ll be doing that which has scared you. I’ve discovered that I must have an open mind when entering any kink scene, since I might not know which events will turn me on and which ones won’t.

Early on I viewed myself as a submissive. Being a submissive allowed me to taste different kinks without the pressure of being a Dom. I have to admit that in a way I used being a submissive to get over my own insecurities and misconceptions about the kink scene. I remember one time in particular that my preconceived notions were shattered when I tried fire cupping for the first time.

Wikipedia defines fire cupping or just cupping as “an ancient form of alternative medicine in which a local suction is created on the skin; practitioners believe this mobilizes blood flow in order to promote healing. Suction is created using heat (fire) or mechanical devices (hand or electrical pumps).”

Participating in my first fire cupping I was pretty scared, as I really am not a fan of fire. However one of my good friends who would be performing the scene explained how safe it was, and that they use every precaution. With my fears slightly calmed I took off my clothes and got onto the table face down. The experience was nothing short of amazing. I felt so relaxed after, (Want to read more...)

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An Understatement

Posted by mollyskiss on Saturday Feb 6, 2016 Under Impact Play, pain, spanking

An Understatement

Red belt marks on Molly's bottom
Last night I sat and wrote a post for This D/s Life about my relationship with pain. In fact what I really wrote about was why I often endure pain to get what it is I really love; marks. As a result I was looking through all the pictures I had of me with marks…
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Daily Mew #66

Posted by TheSubMission on Friday Feb 5, 2016 Under Uncategorized

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I woke up with a package laying on the bed today. It was addressed to me! I was awake somewhat early in the day and so Master must have left it there before he went to work. I opened it up and it was two Warriors books from my Amazon wishlist! Thank you Cinnabubbles! It was a really wonderful surprise. =^^= That was very sweet of you. I can’t wait to read them!

*     *     *     *

I’m not doing well at all today. Something is wrong with Gob (that’s what we named my stoma) and I can’t find the number of the Ostomy nurse. She said she left it in my bag of supplies, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. :(  I called the doctor’s office directly and left a message that I need the number for the Ostomy nurse. If they don’t get back to me today I don’t know what I’ll do. Seriously hope they call.

The entire time I was in the hospital, my pain was a tolerable 4-6. It’s at a 7 today and I took all my morning allotment of medicines. I don’t really know what’s wrong but it almost looks like Gob is sunk back inside of me. :/ I don’t know how to change the bag and check though. They only showed me once (15 minute demo) and I was on narcotics at the time. I don’t feel confident enough to try.

The home nurse is visiting tomorrow but if I can’t get help or the meds don’t kick in soon I don’t know if I can wait that long.

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Enough to Make You Blush – SubGuide Book Club Week 1: Ch 1-3

Posted by submissive guide on Friday Feb 5, 2016 Under Uncategorized
etmyb-week1

Welcome to Week 1: Today through February 11th

Read and discuss Chapters 1-3

If you’re here, you have read the first part, or are currently reading it!

Please go ahead and start (or continue) the conversation!  Remember to come back to continue to respond to others who comment throughout the week (and month)!  Write as much or as little as you please, and don’t forget to link your own blog if you have one!

Some thoughts and questions to help you while you read:

 

  • How much do you know about this kink?
  • What are you curious to learn?
  • How do you hope this book will help you explore erotic humiliation?
  • What do you need from the author to understand this kink?

 

Only post about Chapters 1-3, please!  Spoilers totally allowed for those chapters, but no spoilers for the remainder of the book, please!  Save those for the later posts.

Haven’t finished this week’s reading yet?  Come back when you’re done and join in the conversation!

 

Next week: Ch 4-7

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