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Are rape fantasies considered BDSM?

Yes and no.

A rape fantasy is just a fantasy as long as you keep it in your head or share it with your partner. Not all fantasies can be acted out, nor should they be. Rape happens to be one that gets asked about frequently.

Rape fantasies can be acted out with consensual rules set in place. Usually the Dominant says that they will be doing the rape fantasy (sub must agree to this) within a time frame, a certain week or something, but not what time of day it will happen or how. They should never be done with someone you barely know as even written contracts stating what is going to take place are not admissible in court if the person files a real rape claim. You’d be screwed.

The reality of it is rape fantasies can cause major emotional damage if acted out poorly or without attention to the bottom receiving. Thus my believe that rape fantasies need to be done in committed relationships after a lot of deliberation and discussion. We’ve all heard or know of someone who was raped and the trauma they received, as well as the mental anguish that may still plague them. We wouldn’t want to subject our loved partner to that if we can avoid it.

Any fantasy that falls under Safe, Sane and Consensual (or RACK) can be acted out as long as the people involved can tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Are rape fantasies then a part of BDSM? Yes, if you want them to be. No, if the the cons outweigh the pros. Make your own list and see where you fall on the spectrum.

On another line, it was discussed on FetLife whether using your slave for pleasuring yourself without regard to their desires is considered rape. I personally don’t believe it to be, a slave gave consent at the onset of the relationship for anything under the Master’s discretion. It’s hard to rape the willing and consenting. There were over 120 comments about this topic and it’s quite interesting. Go have a look if you’d like to see others’ opinions.

Anything you’d like to add to the discussion?

–luna

If you have questions of a BDSM or Kinky nature, feel free to ask me! Send me an email to luna@the-iron-gate.com or come by my blog and contact me there and I can answer them in future editions of Ask luna.