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Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury

Posted by elizabethblack on Tuesday Aug 24, 2010 Under Age Play, Arousal, Discussion, Fantasies, Humor, Life, The Countess - Elizabeth Black, Vanilla

“Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” is the cutest, sexiest video I’ve seen in a long time. I had to take a break from writing about sex toys to tell you about it. Rather than get hot and horny for frat boys her own age, Rachel Bloom gets all moist in the knickers for nonagenarian superstar science fiction and fantasy writer Ray Bradbury, who I hear likes this video. It’s definitely not safe for work. It’s below, so enjoy it.

I can see the appeal. Smart, sexy, older men have always appealed to me, and as I get older I like the scientist, professorial, geek types that are older than the fifty years of age I used to prefer. My husband will soon be sixty and he gets sexier to me as he gets older. He trained as an engineer. Two men in their late seventies I know have more energy than men in their twenties and thirties, and they are very appealing to me. Both are scientists. This video just proves to me that smart is sexy no matter how old you are.

So now I present to you, “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury”!

Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury

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Today is May 4th, also known as Star Wars Day so “May The 4th Be With You”. Bah dah bum!

Star Wars Day would not be complete without some porn, so visit this site full of Star Wars Porn, including this amusing picture:

The Force is strong in that one.

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Sticking to Old School

Posted by Mystress Lady Evyl on Tuesday May 4, 2010 Under Arousal, Reviews, Sex Toys

In the last years the new technology used in the sex toy industry is just simply mind blowing. We have an array of such sophisticated specialized toys we do not know what to buy anymore. And we now usually forget to consider what I would call the old school toys. Sometimes the more traditional sex toys we grew up with can fulfill all our needs, if not more, for a fraction of the price of the newer advanced toys.

A good old jelly vibe is what I wanted to get back in touch with. BUT this one has a suction cup! I know, I can hear you say it: the suction sucks! I have tried a few models in the past with the exact same reaction: disappointment. But I had faith in the Wall Banger that it would really stick to its promise.

I love the texture and purple color of this vibe and it has no odor. It is very simple to use. You just twist the bottom to adjust the vibrations from very light vibrating to very strong vibrating. This vibrating jelly is a tiny bit above average in size so its not too scary for someone new to sex toys but will satisfy advanced sex toys users as well. It could even be used anally if you are experienced in this practice. Another feature I really liked is the flared balls-like base. I love that feeling of balls hitting and the cock not being to go in deeper so I got off on this.

OK so about the Wall Banger suction cup: phenomenal! It really sticks to almost any surface: ceramic, tubs, melamine, metal, counter tops, walls, etc. There was only one surface it did not work on, parquet flooring. But besides that it stuck HARD everywhere and would not budge even with rough movements. It allows for so many positions without having to hold on to the toy, you really can imitate quick and full penetration as if you had a partner. My two fave positions with it was from behind standing stuck on the wall and on by back on my bed with the vibe stuck to the head board. Oh and one more great bonus: it’s waterproof so you can take it in the shower with you!

Now remember this is jelly i.e. a very porous toy that can spread disease and bacteria. I would highly recommend you cover your toy with a condom before sharing with another individual or going vaginal to anal (never go anal to vaginal with changing the condom!). Porous toys require also a safe cleaning routine. Wash it with antibacterial  soap and warm water and rinse thoroughly. I would suggest keeping this a personal toy that won’t be shared.

Specs:
Measures 9 inches total length
Vibrator measures 8 inches long
5.5 inches insertable
The shaft measures 1.5 inches wide.
Vibrations use 2 AA batteries (not included)à

In conclusion, I would highly recommend the Wall Banger as it left me completely satisfied and wanting more. Finally a suction cup that really works! Thank you to The Adult Toy Shoppe for the opportunity to review this toys.

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[This post originally appeared on my blog.]

So ladies, are you going to dress immodestly today and start a massive, global earthquake? In case you don’t know, today is the day that women worldwide are urged to bare their boobs, their ankles, and anything else that suits them to start a Boobquake. [For more info on Boobquake, go to Blag Hag.]

The whole business started as a result of Iran’s acting Friday prayer leader, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, stating the following:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.”

Technically, it’s really men being lured into adultery by hot women that supposedly increases earthquake activity, so if you like to show ‘em off and seduce married men, go for it today. When I was in college I had several affairs with married men and I’m not aware of any earthquakes occurring in my college town, so Sedighi is flat out wrong. However, in 1981 at the beginning of one affair there were two earthquakes: Dawu (China – a 6.8) and Irian Jaya (Indonesia, 6.8). In 1982 when I was actively involved with two married men there was a magnitude 6.0 earthquake in North Yeman. According to Wikipedia, “It was the first instrumentally recorded earthquake in the Dhamar region.[2] As many as 2,800 people were killed and 1,500 injured.” Wow, in 1983 at the end of my most intense affair there were three earthquakes: Borah Peak (Idaho, 6.9), Coalinga (California, 6.5), and Kopaonik (Serbia, 5.3).

My infidelity reached across the U. S. and across the globe! I am woman! I have boobs! I am powerful!

So, ladies, bare your breasts and dress otherwise immodestly today, lure a married man into your trap, and let’s start some tremors. I want to see some high scale Richter action by midnight tonight. I’m not wearing any underwear and I’m going to walk around the apartment naked. Let the fun begin! Remember that according to throwbacks like Sedighi, married men are not responsible for their own behavior. It’s those loose whores showing off their ankles and long sexy necks that lure those poor dudes into cheating on their long-suffering wives.

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hot

Posted by Angel on Thursday Mar 11, 2010 Under Angel, Arousal, Poetry, Sexuality

cross-posted from The Enigmatic Angel

she clutched the sheets
it was beyond hot

you could just taste
the desire in the air
slick flesh gleamed in the half-light
someone moaned, someone laughed softly

overhead the fan clicked by
with a drowsy blur of gears

it was good
it was so good
and the moment just stretched….
out

the echo of a scream floated by

as two bodies lay
spent on the bed

it was beyond hot
as she let go
of the sheets.

***Angel

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Title: Vamps

Includes short story “Neighbors” by Elizabeth Black

Publisher: Torquere Press

Release Date: December 23, 2009

Format: E-book and print book

Type: Anthology

Authors: Shanna Germain, Tracey Shellito, Teresa Noelle Roerts, Penelope Friday, JT Langdon, Erin O’Riordan, Mercy Loomis, Kate Cotoner, and Elizabeth Black

Genre: Erotic lesbian romance and erotica

Category: “Neighbors” – contemporary lesbian
(total anthology categories include lesbian, contemporary, paranormal, and vampire)

Buy link: http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=2412

Starting at: $5.95

Edited by Lorna Hinson with stories by Shanna Germain, Tracey Shellito, Teresa Noelle Roberts, Penelope Friday, JT Langdon, Erin O’Riordan, Mercy Loomis, Kate Cotoner, and Elizabeth Black

BLURB FOR “VAMPS”

Seductive. Dangerous. Sexy. Girls with fangs, women who hunt vampires, lovers who only come in the dark of the night. Vamps are not just female vampires; they’re femmes fatales. They’re the women your mother warned you about, and the things that go bump in the night. They’re beautiful and terrible, loving and disdainful.

Nine stories that range from historical to modern and from hard-boiled mystery to fantasy explore the world of the female vampire. They’re strippers and goddesses, bluestockings and hippies, but they all have one thing in common. Lust. Lust for blood, and lust for life, or maybe unlife. All of the night stalkers in Vamps are ready and willing to find a good time.

Some of the best authors in lesbian erotica and romance are here, spinning tales about the dark world of creatures of the night, and about the women who love them, women who are drawn to the power and freedom that the vampire embodies. Vamps features stories from: Shanna Germain, Tracey Shellito, Teresa Noelle Roberts, Penelope Friday, JT Langdon, Erin O’Riordan, Mercy Loomis, Kate Cotoner, and Elizabeth Black. Vamp up your life a little today!

BLURB FOR “NEIGHBORS”

Conservative, staid Annie expected peace and quiet when she moved into the Calvert Street Apartments. Hoping to get some work done, since she worked from home, she set up her flat and her daily routine in her usual, boring, unsurprising way. Little did she know that her new neighbors, Angelina and Charlotte, would give her a run for her money in the excitement department. Angelina and Charlotte awakened Annie’smost secret lusts as they lured her out of her safety zone and into their fevered way of living.

EXCERPT FROM “NEIGHBORS”

It was dark when she heard clattering next door, and awakened on a couch. She couldn’t remember where she was. Once she caught her equilibrium, she recalled watching sitcoms on television while lying on the couch in the living room and falling asleep during a blue jeans commercial. She thought of Lina’s swinging legs encased in that napkin-sized remnant of denim, and felt her pussy go into melt-down.

She listened to the rustling in the next apartment. Charlotte and Lina had arrived home at nearly 3:30 am.

It appeared that her new neighbors had a guest. A male guest, judging from the baritone mingling with the familiar giggles.

They didn’t waste any time. The noises quickly moved from the living room to the bedroom adjacent to Annie’s bedroom.

She rose from the couch and stripped off her T-shirt, shorts, and underwear, dropping them in a heap on the floor as she walked into her bedroom. Nude, she lifted her nightgown from the end of the bed, and froze.

The bed in the apartment next door creaked. Baritone was fucking either Lina or Charlotte or both of them within a few feet from where Annie stood. Judging from the sound, that bed was positioned with one long side against the wall, just like Annie’s bed. If that wall wasn’t there, it would look like one, huge, king-sized bed.

She knelt on her mattress and touched the wall. It throbbed in time with the movement next door. Faint moaning drifted through the fake wood paneling. She pressed her torso against the wall. The throbbing pulsed through her breasts, coursed down her belly, and slammed into her groin. I’m getting warm just thinking about what they’re doing. Could the mere sound of their sex turn me on? She felt her pussy heat up and swell, moist and tender. Her nipples hardened as she rubbed them against the rough wood. Knowing that this one thin wall separated them by mere inches excited her even more. I have to be very quiet. If I make any noise, they’ll hear me through these thin walls. Her pussy pulsed in time with the thumping those hot bodies made as they pumped into each other. It tightened and cramped in search for anything big and thick to wrap itself around. She arched her back, feeling the thumping against the wall pound into her skin, through her belly, and into her warm pussy. She was so turned on she dug her fingernails into the paneling. Warm cream dribbled across her swollen lips, and slid down her right leg. She rubbed her nipples into the rough fake wood, and moaned. Soon, the creaking of the bedsprings increased to a crescendo. After a few deep and shrill ecstatic moans, all was still.

Annie hugged the wall in silence. Waves crashed against the beach outside her balcony, in time with her throbbing pussy. Sweat plastered her hair to her forehead. The strong pulse between her legs begged for relief. She lay on her back atop her sheets and blankets. Her fingers found the moist lips. She rubbed her juices on her thighs and belly. The smell was musky. Delicious. Her fingers parted her lips, and massaged until they reached her swollen clit. The slightest touch was like an electric shock. Her legs bucked with each wave of pleasure. Her breath caught in her lungs, which were so full they threatened to burst. Her heart banged against her ribs, begging to be set free. She pulled at her nipples until they hardened to the size of purple gum drops. She wished her neck was long enough that she could lower her head and suck on them.

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My new article about why men fake orgasms is up at Alternet. Here’s the link and a blurb:

Why Men Fake Orgasms
http://www.alternet.org/sex/144729/why_men_fake_orgasms

Many women would be surprised to learn that men often fake orgasms. But why? Our limited, patriarchal view of sexuality, of course.

If you thought that only women faked orgasms, you’d be wrong. Plenty of men fake their way out of the sack. How on earth can a guy even fake an orgasm? What is he going to do, spray dish detergent and try to pass it off as semen? More importantly, why would a man want to pull off this kind of bluff?

OTHER ARTICLES AT ALTERNET

My Husband Can’t Get It Up — But We Still Have Viagra-Free Sex
(Reprint from Sexis Magazine)
http://www.alternet.org/story/142807/my_husband_can%27t_get_it_up_–_but_we_still_have_viagra-free_sex/

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And you thought I only wrote erotic romance? Not a chance! I write for Sex Is Magazine, a magazine published by the sex toys company EdenFantasys.

My latest article is about erotic shaving, entitled “Pubescaping”.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/body/pubescaping-121492/

Here’s an excerpt:

To shave or not to shave—that is the question. I’ve always sported hair in my southern hemisphere, so when I saw porn where the models are bare except for a landing strip, I wondered what it would be like to be clean-shaven. I trim during the summer to keep my little curls from saying “boo!” when I wear a swimsuit, so when my husband begged me to let him shave me, I figured it might be fun…

COMING SOON BY ELIZABETH BLACK FOR SEX IS MAGAZINE

“Figging” – how to enjoy the bondage practice of sticking a carved plug of fresh ginger root up your bum to give anal sex a literally hot and sexy twist!

PREVIOUS SEX IS ARTICLES BY ELIZABETH BLACK

Why Do Women Fake Orgasms?

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/faking-orgasms-102292/

“Hotel Sex: A Short Guide To Getting It On Away From Home”.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/hotel-sex-90392

“Sexercise Your Way To Ecstasy”

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/sexercise-93092/

“You Are What You Eat: Foods That Improve Your Sex Life”.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sexual-health/food-sex-pyramid-62392/

“When Erectile Dysfunction Hits Home: Or How NOT To Turn Your Man Into A Meat Dildo”. Sex Is Magazine described my article as “a fantastic and compassionate read”.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/erectile-dysfunction-60192/

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Whodathunkit? When Dr. Alan Hirsch, the founder and neurological director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago studied smells, he found that certain smells bring about arousal in men. One of those smells is perfect for Thanksgiving Day – pumpkin pie.

In one study of 31 men (who were, oddly enough, all recruited from a solicitation on “classic rock radio broadcasts”) the researchers found that while all scents had a positive impact on sexual arousal, certain smells impacted penile blood flow more than others. What smell got guys most hot and bothered? Pumpkin pie and lavender topped the charts, increasing penile blood flow and average of 40% compared to their base line state. Here are some of the other scents and how they measured up (taken from the Foundation website):

Lavender and pumpkin pie: 40%
Doughnut and black licorice: 31.5%
Doughnut and cola: 12.5%
Lily of the valley: 11%
Buttered popcorn: 9%
Cranberry: 2%

The good doctor also found scents that turn women on. Want to know what they are? Check my blog post on the subject to find out!

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Why Do Women Have Orgasms?

Posted by elizabethblack on Tuesday Nov 24, 2009 Under Arousal, Discussion, Life, Love, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Countess - Elizabeth Black

Why do women have orgasms? It’s obvious why men do – they ejaculate and that leads to pregnancy. A man’s orgasm helps to carry on the genetic line. So, why do women have orgasms? One theory to which I don’t subscribe is that women have orgasms much for the same reason that men have nipples. It’s a matter of parity. If men didn’t have nipples, women might evolve to lack nipples, and that would prevent them from nursing their young. Therefore, women’s orgasms are a benefit given to them to show parity in men having orgasms in order to ejaculate.

I don’t buy it for a second. This view reduces women’s sexuality to being “all about the men”, and that narrow view is a slap in the face to women. While I’ve had some difficulty coming lately, I do have orgasms quite regularly, and I can count the benefits without any problem whatsoever. Here are a few:

Want to know more? Read the rest at my blog.

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