Kinky Sex Link » BDSM http://www.kinkysexlink.com A BDSM Haven for BDSM Bloggers Thu, 09 Sep 2010 23:00:35 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SubmissiveGuide/~3/Yj8W18G-Lu0/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SubmissiveGuide/~3/Yj8W18G-Lu0/#comments Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:00:38 +0000 submissive guide http://www.submissiveguide.com/?p=4342 This is a guest post by Darkrose.

BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people its pretty easy to define abuse.

Webster’s Dictionary defines abuse as “improper use or handling, misuse, physical maltreatment,insulting or coarse language;To force sexual activity on; rape or molest.”

Most of us in the the BDSM world would take that definition and say, “but I like that stuff”. How do you define abuse if the way the dictionary defines it just does not apply to you?

In most of our relationships some, if not all, of these things happen on a regular basis. Personally I’m rather fond of being molested and mishandled and its difficult for me to remember a time I didn’t need some sort of “insulting or coarse language” to even get in the mood to begin with. I absolutely love name calling and otherwise not very nice talk.

A lot of people in the lifestyle tend to define abuse by rather or not there was consent to whatever awful thing was going on at the time. Consent is vital in any type of power exchange relationship, but I think that a lot of people don’t really think that through completely. How many people really want to get hit with that particular awful, terrible, horrible, frightening, painful thing that you know just about every top on the planet has at least one of? How many of us would happily break said awful thing or at least hide it if we didn’t know for a fact they’d just find something even worse to hit us with and they’d make it suck ten times worse to be us for breaking/hiding the original thing? How many (Want to read more...)

]]> http://www.submissiveguide.com/2010/09/the-abuse-debate-a-matter-of-acceptance-not-consent/feed/ 0 Taking The Personal “Touch” Out Of BDSM http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSubMission/~3/PEYtXI8YTd8/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSubMission/~3/PEYtXI8YTd8/#comments Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:18:07 +0000 TheSubMission http://www.the-sub-mission.com/?p=1216 A company I review toys for recently sent me this to review.  I thought it was an interesting little item, but once I got down to using it, I started thinking.  Why is it that there are so many products being made lately which take the personal touch out of BDSM, or even sex in general?

Especially for some of the more forceful types of play I am into, touch is a very important thing to me.  Using devices and being tied up is fun, yes!  It is absolutely freeing to have so many of your options taken away, and in such a vulnerable way.  When I was first interested in BDSM I had no equipment.  True you can buy so many non-kinky things in a typical grocery store, and “kink-ify” them.  I’m talking about before I did that.  When BDSM was very new (to me).  What about the first times?  In the beginning, my partners and me would use commands, hands, etc to get our point across and have a good time. 

I love receiving spankings.  Paddles, floggers, dragon’s tongue, you name it, we’ve got plenty of beating instruments.  One thing has been gnawing at me while receiving these delicious tortures lately though.  What ever happened to being tossed around like a rag doll, and feeling the weight of your hand while you beat me, again and again?  What ever happened to your hand feeling the bruises it was making AS it was making them. 

Now, I’m not saying that Master does not do those things with me.  He does.  It just makes me sad to think about the lack of physical contact that some of the toys out there are marketing.  A strap to make it easier for you to choke me with your cock?  For Heaven’s sake!  Grab (Want to read more...)

]]> http://www.the-sub-mission.com/2010/08/taking-the-personal-touch-out-of-bdsm/feed/ 0 Pinwheel BDSM Toy http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LadyEvyl/~3/1551jCpL5tI/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LadyEvyl/~3/1551jCpL5tI/#comments Mon, 30 Aug 2010 00:26:24 +0000 Mystress Lady Evyl http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/?p=2216

I just love a nice vanilla object that has been perverted to BDSM play. Such is the case with the Pinwheel BDSM Toy. Actually called the Wartenburg Wheel, this pinwheel is a medical device used to measure nerve reactions. It was invented by, you guessed it, Dr. Wartenberg. Hardly used in the medical field anymore it has risen from the ashes in the SM world.


I LOVE pinwheels, I use them in almost every play session I have. For the newbie its look is intimidating and painful. To the knowledgeable player the pinwheel often brings on moans, screams and giggles of delightful sensuality and torture. Scary or desired, the one sure thing is the Pinwheel BDSM Toy falls under sensation play category. I do believe anyone with an open mind can enjoy a little spiky wheel play as it can be used in a pleasurable way. Of course the person has to be willing even if the tool is used nicely.


Usually presented in a little plastic black pouch, this tool is made of chrome over stainless steel and measures just under 7 inches long. The handle is about 5.5 inches long and is usually flat with a textured pattern to improve grip. Although the online pic showed all metal mine came with a pale pink coated handle (which I adore). The wheel end is attached to the the handle on an axis that spins freely. The wheel is about 1 inch in diameter, the spikes themselves about 3/8 of an inch long. There is a total of 20 spikes which are relatively sharp but not automatically piercing.



To use this BDSM Toy just start of by applying the wheel perpendicular to the skin and roll along the body softly.See how the receiver reacts. Depending on the body part (Want to read more...)

]]> http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/2010/08/29/pinwheel-bdsm-toy/feed/ 0 Kinky Hello Kitty http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LadyEvyl/~3/Y0_KX8E1KaQ/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LadyEvyl/~3/Y0_KX8E1KaQ/#comments Sun, 29 Aug 2010 02:03:41 +0000 Mystress Lady Evyl http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/?p=2225

I am slightly traumatized by this Japanese Hello Kitty MAC Cosmetics Make Up Collection


I don’t get it…but it’s kind of bdsm kink focused.


I am scared!


]]> http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/2010/08/28/kinky-hello-kitty/feed/ 0 MFW & Lady Evyl Supports the ALCC Workshop Pass http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LadyEvyl/~3/R66WJMeKu8k/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LadyEvyl/~3/R66WJMeKu8k/#comments Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:00:59 +0000 Mystress Lady Evyl http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/?p=2157


10 days to the Montreal Fetish Weekend!!!!!!!!!!! GET YOUR PASS



This year’s Montreal Fetish Weekend will be extra exciting as I will be presenting my Cell Popping Workshop. This is truly a unique opportunity for you to learn about a rare form of FIRE PLAY/BRANDING. There are but a handful of qualified people who offer this type of a workshop in the entire world. A special treat: I will create a lovely design on the charming Miss Susan from Toronto. It is a NOT-TO-BE-MISSED event! It is but one of many really fabulous workshops offered this year, even a few exclusively French ones. Just see the current tantalizing list below (may be modified so check the Montreal Fetish Weekend website.)


Workshops will take place Saturday & Sunday Sept 4-5th at the Hotel des Gouverneurs, 1415 St. Hubert Street, in the Ballroom. There are 3 ways to attend workshops:- VIP holders have free access, a $40 per day pass or a $60 weekend pass.


Exclusive LadyEvyl.com offer

SAVE & SUPPORT the ALCC!


Purchase the 60$ 2-DAY WORKSHOP PASS and save 20$ over the regular price at the door purchase price. 25% of all purchases will go to the ALCC, Montreal’s Alternative Lifestyle Community Center.


- Send me an email if you wish to pay by cash, before or at the event , or order via Paypal below



En français

Le Montreal Fetish Weekend cette année sera très excitant car je vais présenter mon atelier de Cell Popping. C’est vraiment une occasion unique pour apprendre une forme rare de JEUX DE FEU/BRANDING. Il existe qu’une poignée de gens qualifiés qui offrent ce type d’atelier dans le monde entier. Une présentation spécials: je vais créer un joli design sur la charmante Miss Susan de Toronto. Il s’agit (Want to read more...)

]]> http://www.ladyevyl.com/blog/2010/08/25/mfw-lady-evyl-supports-the-alcc-workshop-pass-2/feed/ 0 Boot Worship, Foot Worship, On My Knees http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSubMission/~3/GFRhmqydl70/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSubMission/~3/GFRhmqydl70/#comments Mon, 23 Aug 2010 19:15:15 +0000 TheSubMission http://www.the-sub-mission.com/?p=1199 A lot of people are grossed out when I mention that I am into feet.  I absolutely adore foot worship, or boot worship.  I enjoy being on my hands and knees lavishing my dominant’s feet, shoes, or boots with kisses, licks, nuzzles and attention in general.  I love showing my submission by kissing the boots or feet of my Master/Mistress/Other. 

Often when I roleplay a kitty, or even as a slave, I am on my knees or with eyes downcast.  I do not generally look my dominant in their eyes unless told to.  I do my best to be a good kitty, and that means obeying and doing what is expected of me.  It is generally expected of me to not touch something unless I am told it is OK to touch.  Feet are different.  I have yet to meet a Top who is not pleased to have me kissing their feet, shoes, or boots.  I am sure they exist, but in my experience, I am always met with praise and love when I greet feet with lips. 

To me, in these circumstances, my kissing of my dominant’s feet has nothing to do with the actual foot itself – but with me worshiping the part which is closest to me.  Being on my knees all the time allows me clear and easy access to feet.  There is also something amazing in giving attention to a part of someone which generally gets a lot less attention than the rest of them.  Feet are often ignored, as is anything not on the top half of your body.  When I learned reflexology, that is one of the major things we talked about.  Many people take great care with their hair, make-up, fingernails, etc.  The bottom half tends to be ignored though.  That is (Want to read more...)

]]> http://www.the-sub-mission.com/2010/08/boot-worship-foot-worship-on-my-knees/feed/ 0 Rag doll play http://sapioslut.com/2010/08/21/rag-doll-play/ http://sapioslut.com/2010/08/21/rag-doll-play/#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2010 22:04:22 +0000 sapioslut http://sapioslut.com/?p=5704 The last few times our sex has been even better than usual. For me there is more connection, more intimacy. From my perspective I can only put it down to one thing: opening up more. With me doing that it is like James has had more space, more invitation to do and be what he does and is, and it has been magic.

Last night in particular was fucking fantastic. When he said he wasn't up to doing a boundary-pushing scene it reminded me of a fleeting thought I had along those lines - about how I need more energy for fear-inducing scenes, and I wasn't sure if I was up to that. So I just opened. I may have subconsciously decided to not be afraid. It was fun.

There was a certain roughness, the rag doll play. I think the only thing I did consciously was, when he had put his hand over my mouth, I decided to interpret it as "Be quiet until I tell you to talk." With not talking it left more room for just feeling stuff.

It was a very subby space - but not induced, more of a quiet going along. It was joyful. Happy. Both of us enjoyed it.

(Ha! I just found a couple of bruises on my breasts.)

Yeah, I think that with the head-fucking type play we have done quite a bit of recently, I have gotten into the habit of shrinking away from the fear/pain, which has started to limit my enjoyment. Reminding myself to open has been a revival of the best bits.

I wonder if it is a cyclical thing, or if it is just part of my journey...]]> http://sapioslut.com/2010/08/21/rag-doll-play/feed/ 0 The deep connections of bdsm http://sapioslut.com/2010/08/20/the-deep-connections-of-bdsm/ http://sapioslut.com/2010/08/20/the-deep-connections-of-bdsm/#comments Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:00:42 +0000 sapioslut http://sapioslut.com/?p=5692 I have a huge problem with the ever-increasing use of the word "play" to describe both BDSM activities and sex acts in the BDSM community. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

I think it's apologist, reductive, confusing, and cowardly. I think the community should face up to the fact that the word "play," which is most commonly defined as "to participate in games or sport," is a bad fit for describing the deep connections, spiritual moments, and passionate feelings of BDSM interactions.

I also think it's a lousy way to describe consensual sex acts between adults. While there is an historic use of the word "play" in the context of "sex play" or "playing around," the modern use in the BDSM community to describe any sexual relations trivializes adult sex and intimacy. CarnalNation said it here.

What do you think?]]> http://sapioslut.com/2010/08/20/the-deep-connections-of-bdsm/feed/ 0 “If You Loved Me, You’d Put Your Cock Down My Throat!” http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSubMission/~3/0YVEaQnZOxc/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSubMission/~3/0YVEaQnZOxc/#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 21:08:17 +0000 TheSubMission http://www.the-sub-mission.com/?p=1183 A few weeks ago, someone said to me that they could not imagine me being a bad enough kitty to deserve a serious punishment.  It’s true – I do the best I can to please my dominants in general.  I like performing well.  I like following orders.  I like being good.  But sometimes, I get impatient and act up like a bad kitty.  It is something I am always working on, but sometimes I just can’t help myself.  Last night, something like that happened.

Master was tucking me into bed, and I’ve just been dying for the taste of his dick in my mouth.  I want him to skull fuck me, or to let me get on top of him and go to town on his cock.  I have a taste for cock, you see, I love to suck dick.  I may not be the most skilled oral sex giver out there, but my enthusiasm generally makes up for it, and I have not heard any actual complaints yet.  Anyway, when I had my wisdom teeth out, the doctor said no sucking for two days.  Truthfully he did not mention sucking cock, just sucking through a straw – but Master (rightfully) took this to mean no oral sex either.  Okay.  I get that.  Well, it has been eleven days since my teeth were extracted.  I’m not in any pain now, and I’m not taking an anti-biotic either.  I’m eating anything I like, and I’m feeling very much myself again. 

Last night, when Master was putting me to sleep, I started gently “batting” his penis with my head, like a kitty.  I rubbed my face on it and tried to lick it through the underwear, hoping he would take his cock out and let me suck it.  Instead, he kept telling me (Want to read more...)

]]> http://www.the-sub-mission.com/2010/08/loved-put-cock-throat/feed/ 0 Pleasurists #90 http://exploringintimacy.com/2010/08/15/pleasurists-90-2/ http://exploringintimacy.com/2010/08/15/pleasurists-90-2/#comments Mon, 16 Aug 2010 02:03:39 +0000 ExploringIntimacy http://exploringintimacy.com/?p=2441 [click here to read more...]]]>

Abandoned Nude by tiago13pereira

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