Kinky Sex Link

Now that the weather is changing, I’m thinking more seriously using the honorific of Sir. I’ve never had a problem with being referred to as Sir from my co-workers. What started as a joke turned into something that I’ve come to embrace. On more then one occasion while at work the staff I supervise had be taken to task for calling me Sir by the public. And, they were quickly set straight that calling me Sir was out of respect not said with mocking.

I’ve asked a few staff if there was something I could do to temper my female masculinity. One reply was that even when I wear a dress or skirt I’m still the same way, just in a dress or a skirt. Humm

What has really got me thinking of using Sir is my energy no matter how glamed up I get someone will refer to me as Sir. I thought it was because I wear my hair short, very short. But I always try to counter that by wearing long earrings or some kind of jewelry. I don’t wear makeup. I was recently (and by recent I mean Feb.) invited to a dinner party. I decided I’m going to go all out, I went to the Mac store and had my makeup done. I even went and got a manicure and pedicure. I thought since I’m going all out I’d wear stocking (with seams of course) “A” line skirt, leather and suede Mary Jane’s navy blue silk shirt and cincher, pearl necklace and earrings. A cross between Betty Davis and a fetish Diva, I blame my Grandmother for this type of fashion. As a little girl watching her dress for parties was something I actually liked to do. But un-like my sister I didn’t play dress up with her jewelry and makeup. Go figure?

So while at the party, I’m referred to as “this gentleman”, and “sir” respectively. I want to calk this up to people just not paying attention. But as the gentleman that I was conversing with said, “you are one of the few women here that gives off an air of confidence, you are defiantly in control. Most woman reserve that energy for men or gay women”

I’m not a man, nor am I a gay woman. I had to let him know I was the kind of woman his mother warned him about. After telling him just what kind of woman I was he, passed on most of it and wanted to know if there was a go straight to the sex card? Unfortunately there isn’t and I would not know what that card look like, at this point in my life.    

Over the course of the evening we continued to talk, I told him my story of “Sir” and he agreed that I should be called Sir but only on my own terms.

To which he referred to me as Sir the rest of the evening.

 I’m going to have to kick it around a bit more.

As I wrote last week I was asked to be a part of a fashion show, so I have an update. First, I didn’t fall and bust my ass while working the floor. As one would expect it was a mad house. And before the evening was over I was through with smelling my favorite things, latex and leather. Lady Sabrina was the only designer to have all women in her show. So you could imagine the look on our faces when one of the organizers walked in and started to scream. “oh my god what are those things?” Or something like that, yep he was referring to our breast. Lady Sabrina has some beautiful clothes, and was determined to make me a girl. I had eyed  a skirt I wanted to wear. So before the show I stepped outside to have a smoke and pray to the BDSM Goddess I’d get to wear it. While running for the elevator who would be there, but Mistress Mir. The Goddess just might have heard my prayer.

The skirt I wanted to wear was similar to the one Darque de Sade had photographed Mistree Mir in. There was a conspiracy between Lady Sabrina and Ms. Pedals to make me look and walk like woman. The first outfit was a short sliver dress with a plugging neck line, which I had to keep pulling down since I am a sista in the back. I couldn’t believe she wouldn’t let me wear my timberlines with it. I did ask.  As I slipped on the skirt of my second outfit and was cinched into the corset I really could say I was as happy as a little girl. Corset tight boots fierce. I was so excited I told one of the guys that Mistress Mir was here and that the skirt was similar. I wanted to bow or something when I passed her, or should I curtsy? Well I should have known curtsy I was talking to gay guys.

I took their advice and when passing Mistress Mir I curtsied.

The Master of ceremony BK which I don’t believe stands for burger king was a lot of fun and I could not tell you what came over me. Maybe it was the skirt or the boots but I threw a little shade, and I gave him the hand. And in true form he threw some shade back. It was all in fun and what’s a little shade for charity?

There’s more but that will have to wait.

Here’s an excerpt from a series I recently shot with Paris Kennedy.  More images from the shoot available on Atlanta Bondage.

I was pondering the idea of rituals in M/f D/s relationships and started wondering why a fair amount of them seem to revolve around the submissive’s appearance.

I suppose a lot of it revolves around the fact that so many men are visual and the way a woman dresses and does her hair can make a huge difference in his feelings towards her.

In so many long term relationships it seems the fire and sexual energy dies after a period of time and my guess is that so much of that comes down to the old adage about familiarity breeding contempt.

Moving in together (even just part-time living together) can play havoc on any relationship. So many of us greet our man in high heels and mascara at the beginning of the relationship, and then eventually start greeting them in flannel pants and t-shirts. It’s often just a matter of necessity and convenience, and pretty unavoidable.

Lingerie that creeps up our backside, or fails to cover our bottoms, finds its way to the back of the drawer and we stop worrying that he’ll see us in the comfy cotton ones our mom gave us for Xmas.

After a while those rarely comfortable push-up bras and bustiers only come out on special occasions, and as they things wear out – or stop fitting! – we find there are more serious things to spend money on.

So, one obvious reason for this apparent obsession with appearance is that when a male dominant takes charge of his submissive’s appearance he is ensuring that his desire for her will stay fresh. He heads off the problem of her letting the visual stimulus fade, and if his tastes change he simply starts leading her her into his latest fantasy look.

This is only one aspect however. There are deeper layers around controlling such basic adult choices as what clothing to wear that can truly make a submissive feel she has given over power to the man she wishes to please.

There are also the delicious darker kinks of objectification that come from carefully orchestrated appearance choices.

She can become little more than a doll for him to dress, perhaps. Or he can turn her into a schoolgirl, a whore, or a french maid for a period of time, and she ceases to be his lover, his friend, his partner. She is now a new woman he can explore, make love to, abuse…whatever tickles his fancy.

Most males love variety when it comes to sex and poly is not for everyone.

These things that work so well for male dominants work for most female submissives, as well. Many of us enjoy the kink of being someone society doesn’t let us be. We also love the loss of control we feel when faced with something as fundamental as losing the right to choose our underwear.

When a dominant makes a decision about these things the female submissive may find herself in a position all day long of being reminded of the D/s relationship.

Just ask any submissive who has worn some article of kinky clothing under her work clothes.

Hot, hot, hot.

I’m sure I’m only tapping the surface here, but there are very good reasons that these rituals are so attractive to those of us in the lifestyle. It’s no wonder we instinctively lean towards them.

Myself included.

x-post from Lady Evyl

No, I am not talking about needle play. I am talking about another craft gone fetish: Knitting! Yes you read it right. Yes I can knit and crochet. Another way to corrupt my crafty gift.

A member of my Fetlife groug, BDSM Toy Craft Corner, posted about a naughty knitting book coming out and asked if anyone already had kinky knitting projects to share until she recieved her online order book. Well that occupied most of my Sunday afternoon on Google: searching for the BDSM knitting Holy Grail. Let me share some of my finds with you:

Click on the image to bring you to the page with the pattern instructions.

Great for those on the poor side who need to make kinky gifts! Happy knitting

Mystress Lady Evyl

But I wanted to share one of these newly released pictures by the multi-talented photographer-writer-model-probably something else cool that I just haven’t heard about yet Zille Defeu. This is from a set she took a bit ago, but is only now going to be on Zivity. I thought the corset fans might enjoy seeing me model this sexy little over-bust number by Dark Garden.

This is the photo I submitted to Boobiethon. It was fun to go there and see it among all the other lovely boobies!! You have until October 7th to submit, and men can submit too! Please go support the fight.

This little photo got some lovely comments on my blog.

sufferintillsufferage

Why Women Should Vote

Claim: Article relates the plight of suffragists who were arrested for picketing the White House in 1917.

Status: True.

Example: [Collected on the Internet, August 2008]

WHY WOMEN SHOULD VOTE

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.

Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden’s blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of ‘obstructing sidewalk traffic.’

They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate,
Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the ‘Night of Terror’ on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson’s White House for the right to vote.

For weeks, the women’s only water came from an open pail. Their food — all of it colorless slop — was infested with worms.

When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory. Some women won’t vote this year because — why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn’t matter? It’s raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO’s new movie ‘Iron Jawed Angels.’ It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women’s history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was **** with herself. ‘One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,’ she said. ‘What would those women think of the way I use, or don’t use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.’ The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her ‘all over again.’

HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn’t our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn’t make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: ‘Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.’

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party – remember to vote.

History is being made.

Additional information:
Tactics and Techniques of the National Woman’s Party Suffrage Campaign Tactics and Techniques of the National Woman’s Party Suffrage Campaign
(Library of Congress)
Last updated: 6 September 2008

The URL for this page is http://www.snopes.com/politics/ballot/womenvote.asp

Urban Legends Reference Pages © 1995-2008 by snopes.com.
This material may not be reproduced without permission.
snopes and the snopes.com logo are registered service marks of snopes.com.
Sources Sources:

Adams, Katherine H. and Michael L. Keene. Alice Paul and the American Suffrage Campaign.
University of Illinois Press, 2007. ISBN 0-252-07471-8.

Lunardini, Christine A. From Equal Suffrage to Equal Rights: Alice Paul and the National Woman’s Party, 1910-1928.
New York University Press, 1986. ISBN 0-595-00055-X (pp. 104-122).

Stevens, Doris. Jailed for Freedom: American Women Win the Vote.
Troutdale, OR: NewSage Press, 1995. ISBN 0-939-16525-2.

[From snopes.com: Why Women Should Vote]