Kinky Sex Link

So actor/rabblerouser Nicholas Cage will only eat animals that have, in his opinion, “dignified” sex. He won’t eat pork because he doesn’t like the way pigs do The Nasty. Instead, he munches on chicken and fish. I don’t know whether he’s serious or if he’s pulling reporter’s legs but I thought it would be fun to write about animals sex lives anyway.

I can’t speak for chickens, but ever see how fish get it on? The female lays her eggs and then the male shoots his sperm into the water, fertilizing the eggs. So when it’s spawning season water is chock full of clouds of sperm. I suppose that could be considered dignified.

I bet Nick Cage won’t eat a preying mantis. Females eat males after they copulate but only if they are hungry. We had preying mantids in our leafy canopy at our old house in Maryland. I remember the female and the smaller male. One day, I noticed that the male was missing his head! Holy shit, they must have copulated and she ate him! It was the creepiest thing to see since the male wasn’t dead yet. It wandered around the canopy missing its head. Took the sucker five days to die. I hope I never see a preying mantis ever again.

I bet Nick Cage won’t eat dog, considering that there is now a sex toy for dogs called Hotdoll. The picture below doesn’t look particularly dignified to me.

Here are some strange animal sex habits. I doubt any of these critters will end up on Nick Cage’s dinner plate.

Honey bees: The male’s genitals pop off and get caught inside the Queen when mating. The snapped off penis acts as a plug, preventing other males from copulating with Her Highness. I guess this means Nick Cage won’t put honey in his tea, unless he finds losing the Crown Jewels to be dignified.

Bonobos: Bonobos use sex for EVERYTHING! They “use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange “penis fencing” ritual!”

Red-Sided Garter Snake: One female emerges from hibernation. She releases a pheromone that drives male red-sided garter snakes into an erotic frenzy. Then… ORGY!!! Bonus points – male red-sided garter snakes have two penises. I hear snake tastes like chicken so maybe eating snake isn’t much of a stretch for Nick Cage.

Dolphins: Male dolphins have retractable penises. And they’re prehensile. They even swivel! I hope Nick Cage eats dolphin-safe tuna.

Anyway, there are many more bizarre examples of animal sex at that link so head on over and get an education. Some of these animals do things that sound like something you see in a science fiction movie.

x post from Mystress Lady Evyl

Saturday night was quite a night…more on that on a separate blog. But one of our projects of the evening was making a chocolate penis. A friend had a Clone-a-Willy Chocolate Kit for about a year and had not used it yet. Her better half did not feel, how should I say, UP to the challenge in my presence as well so we used a dildo. I did a photo chronical of our project and thought you, my readers, would enjoy it.

Step 1….Get a dildo or an real erect penis

Step 2….Mix gel according to instructions, insert didlo or penis in tube, let set, remove dildo or penis and voilà…we have a mold.

Step 3….Melt chocolate carefully with burning it in microwave and let it cool to directions. Poor chocolate into the mold, place stick in chocolate and place in fridge to harden.

Step 4….Remove from mold gently and there you go…a chocolate replica of your favorite dick!

You then have several choices!

You can get a male friend to play with it and let him pretend his cock really does taste like chocolate!

or…

circumcise it like I did in good FemDom spirit!

Guaranteed fun!

Mystress Lady Evyl

My friend the Enigmatic Angel took me out for dinner for my birthday since she could not make the big party this past Saturday. Very nice Spanish meal and great conversation. This video is from our dinner from thursday night, May 7th, 2009!

What happens at a private birthday dinner with two tipsy Dommes???

See video below

I have two categories of sexual fantasy: my own fantasies (whether just to stay in my mind or to act out) and those I write in my stories on jenbluekissederotica.blogspot.com, ravenousromance.com, and in my longer works in progress as a writer of fiction. Both categories of fantasy are fun, but very different at the same time.

In my personal fantasies, I tend to envision scents, textures, and emotions. I set up a scene in which I’m the submissive and usually have to endure something until my master gives me permission to either stop enduring it or to orgasm. Usually there’s lots of pain involved. In real life, there’s also gobs of trust involved in whatever sexy situation I find myself in. There’s always a happy ending in my personal fantasies and very few complications. I don’t spend much time thinking and picturing how long it takes to tie complicated rope work or set up in general, which in a good scene can take a long time to ensure consent and safety.

As a writer of fiction, however, there are other considerations that seldom enter into my own personal fantasies. The chief of these is what can go wrong. Conflict drives good fiction. I like to complicate the sexual situations the characters find themselves in. There are many things I fantasize about when writing fiction that I would never want to have happen in my personal fantasies or in my real life. A few examples:

In “I’m Always So Damned Cold,” there is a scene in which Josia learns that Kevin’s love of using handcuffs on her is deeply rooted in his past while in prison. She has no idea if he’s truly violent as a person or was wrongly accused. This story is posted on jenbluekissederotica.blogspot.com for free. I’m a firm believer in freebies.

In “The Kitchen Table,” which is part of the Ambrosia Anthology available at http://www.ravenousromance.com/modern-love/ambrosia-stories-of-passion-and-appetite.php

there is a scene that involves furniture bondage, spanking, and the protagonist’s ex-mother-in-law. I wouldn’t wish that scene on anyone, but it was fun to write. I like my kinky sex to be quirky.

x-post from Lady Evyl

No, I am not talking about needle play. I am talking about another craft gone fetish: Knitting! Yes you read it right. Yes I can knit and crochet. Another way to corrupt my crafty gift.

A member of my Fetlife groug, BDSM Toy Craft Corner, posted about a naughty knitting book coming out and asked if anyone already had kinky knitting projects to share until she recieved her online order book. Well that occupied most of my Sunday afternoon on Google: searching for the BDSM knitting Holy Grail. Let me share some of my finds with you:

Click on the image to bring you to the page with the pattern instructions.

Great for those on the poor side who need to make kinky gifts! Happy knitting

Mystress Lady Evyl

Hello everyone,

I am just so thrilled with how things are going so far for this new site. Kudos to everyone involved! I am also getting daily request from bloggers to join. Soon I will have to turn many away as I can only have so much.

An issue has been brought up to me twice actually in the last 24hr hours and I thought I would discuss it publicly. I was asked why I had not done a RSS feed fetcher site which would automatically place the blogs of contributors on the site here.

Because this would simply defy the entire purpose of the creation of this site. I created this site with the idea of getting bloggers physically, actively involved…hands on. I want us, authors and readers, to really get a sense of community here, a sense of a family, a Haven as the title suggests. Each author individually logs in, posts their chosen text and publishes it. This ensures a higher lever of quality posts as well.

In short, this site is designed to be pro-active…not passive.

__________________

Now on a much lighter note I wish to also share an incident that happened to me last night. It was just one of those moments where you think ‘Where the hell is a sub when I need one?’. What happened? Well my dear friend Angel (an author here) was over at my place for dinner. Dessert consisted of chocolate ice cream and fresh Ontario peaches. I was wearing a low cut t-shirt. A full spoon of ice cream and a piece of peach fell off as it was making its way to my mouth, landing right in between my breasts. I really needed a sub to lick that up clean. Alas none was around

Mystress Lady Evyl