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Because I have friends who say they love me. One sent me and article. With a note saying “because you love raging against the machine, enjoy.” Ah friends.

Andy Rooney didn’t really do this piece, so I also include the original source.  And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t put my two cents in the game.  

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the concert or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick, this is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.

You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

It’s true we don’t care what you’re thinking, and if we want to know what you’re thinking, we’ll tell you.

And if we do want to watch the game, you damn well know that you will be refilling glasses and getting chips.

Most women over 40 have cultivated deep friendships, meaning that if she does hit you upside the head with a cast-iron pan she can call on a friend at 4am to help dispose of the body.

We do know how to give praise which is deserving, at times. But we also know that praise is needed to get you to step/keep up with us.

Most women are born psychic, but don’t know it until they are moving towards 40 and by then the noise of the world is finally out of their heads.

A woman over 40 knows that red lipstick is made to make men think of something else that is red, well on the inside, although most men will not admit it. And younger women don’t know that. As for drag queens, well I’ve seen some wonderful red lips on them.

By the time we reach 40 with or without wrinkles hopefully we’ve become more comfortable in our own skin, so when 40 hits watch out world.

And you usually are acting like one. You may get one pass for acting like a jerk but watch your ass.

Because a woman over 40 has already told you all you needed to know when you first met her so there’s no room for bait and switch.

And for every 30 year old man-boy, with three roommates bemoaning they can’t find a woman and refuse one over 40, because they are old and must be fat. There are I’m sure plenty of 20 year olds just throwing themselves at them.

And for every woman over 40 who thinks most of what was written above is funny, it is. And it’s sad since the men over forty want 20 year olds and guys under forty want 20 year old.

Thank God we woman over 40 learned that it pays to buy a vibrator that plugs into the wall, since it get costly buying batteries which saves us money for other things. And finally, yes this woman over 40 can laugh at herself.

Hee hee.

How about a nice daft from a shaft!

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urban dictionary

teabagging: To have a man insert his scrotum into another person’s mouth in the fashion of a teabag into a mug with an up/down (in/out) motion.

Well, then there is the political definition…discussed on this talk show about the anti-tax Renaissance Faires known as “tea parties.”

too funny!!

Bonderella is a bondagette who believes in educating those around her.  The little vixen knows that Mother Superior is just a misguided soul and can see the light when shown the way. Good job, Bonderella!

I’m working on developing a comic strip about our sweet vixen very soon. Stay tuned!

A new form of punishment for male subs or just a tasty way to make dinner??

I guess I’m not good at being the husband. Yet again like with Lady Sabrina, I said yes to something to Ms. Pedals. She asked me to be apart of a panel on civility in our community or something or another. I drifted off to my happy place in my head and said yes. Only to have her send me the description which I promptly read and forgot about.

Last night she sends out an email as a reminder.

My first thought was holy smokes she didn’t forget, which I was hoping she would. Not only was it a reminder she gave homework. Homework, homework about f*%$ civility in our “community.” Who the %#* does she think she is? She’s not the %$* boss of me. And if she thinks I’m going to spend time out of my g%* day to do f&%* homework she’s got another thing coming. Between work and commitments to my spiritual family, when I get home I want to kick back and forget about assignments of all kinds. She can just kiss my %$&.

And I plan on telling her just that.

As soon as I re-read what she wrote and put something together.

If you have the time and the inclination come out to TES on the 24th to hear some great people talk about civility. Hopefully we will  be able to keep it civil.

And I’m going to have to rethink the husband thing, maybe these gals are just good at getting what they want? humm

As I wrote last week I was asked to be a part of a fashion show, so I have an update. First, I didn’t fall and bust my ass while working the floor. As one would expect it was a mad house. And before the evening was over I was through with smelling my favorite things, latex and leather. Lady Sabrina was the only designer to have all women in her show. So you could imagine the look on our faces when one of the organizers walked in and started to scream. “oh my god what are those things?” Or something like that, yep he was referring to our breast. Lady Sabrina has some beautiful clothes, and was determined to make me a girl. I had eyed  a skirt I wanted to wear. So before the show I stepped outside to have a smoke and pray to the BDSM Goddess I’d get to wear it. While running for the elevator who would be there, but Mistress Mir. The Goddess just might have heard my prayer.

The skirt I wanted to wear was similar to the one Darque de Sade had photographed Mistree Mir in. There was a conspiracy between Lady Sabrina and Ms. Pedals to make me look and walk like woman. The first outfit was a short sliver dress with a plugging neck line, which I had to keep pulling down since I am a sista in the back. I couldn’t believe she wouldn’t let me wear my timberlines with it. I did ask.  As I slipped on the skirt of my second outfit and was cinched into the corset I really could say I was as happy as a little girl. Corset tight boots fierce. I was so excited I told one of the guys that Mistress Mir was here and that the skirt was similar. I wanted to bow or something when I passed her, or should I curtsy? Well I should have known curtsy I was talking to gay guys.

I took their advice and when passing Mistress Mir I curtsied.

The Master of ceremony BK which I don’t believe stands for burger king was a lot of fun and I could not tell you what came over me. Maybe it was the skirt or the boots but I threw a little shade, and I gave him the hand. And in true form he threw some shade back. It was all in fun and what’s a little shade for charity?

There’s more but that will have to wait.