[This post first appeared on my blog, The Countess.]
I have long been fascinated with affairs, ever since I was in college and I realized that some married men would screw anything female with legs, as long as the woman presented herself to him in an appealing manner. I was occasionally that woman. It wasn’t just men who cheated on their spouses. Women have cheated countless times throughout history.
Is it really cheating if you never meet in person, leaving your sweaty paw prints all over the computer screen when interacting with your honey? I recall an article about a guy who was addicted to the online role playing game “Second Life”, and his real life wife was not happy that he had cheated on her with a woman he had “married” in the game. I found the real life wife posting on the Yahoo group EverQuest Widows, and she was so pissed about the article and all the new things she learned about her husband’s cyber affair that she had decided to divorce his ass.
Get a load of this near-miss one man had with his wife:
When Tim’s wife opened the Valentine’s Day gift he had mailed to her, he knew he was in trouble when she pulled an eight-inch purple butt plug out of the box.
That gift was meant for his cyber playmate. The company had shipped it to the wrong address.
He stammered, telling her it was really for him. He’s into bondage and sadistic play. She’s not.
He likes cybersex. He likes kinky web sites, in particular BDSM web sites. He said that he had done it “often when I had a day job that allowed unfiltered access to the Internet.”
He doesn’t consider his cyber-relationships affairs.
“They’re flirtations,” he said. “There’s no face-to-face.
Is it really an affair if it’s only on the Internet? What about hot, steamy e-mail exchanges? The concensus from my research into that article was that, yes, indeed, a married person who has cybersex is having an affair. Energy, attention, and sometimes even money are paid to the person who is not the adulterer’s spouse.
Here are some movies and books that address the time-honored practice of infidelity:
Anna Karenina
Double Indemnity
Casablanca
The Scarlet Letter
Body Heat
Same Time, Next Year
The Bridges Of Madison County
Indecent Proposal
Brief Encounter
The Postman Always Rings Twice
52 Pick Up
Affairs figure prominently amongst political scandals. Former President Bill Clinton is better known today for Monica Lewinsky’s blow jobs than for much of his public policy. Ministers such as Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart have seen their empires fall due to their inability to keep it in their pants. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer saw his power crumble after the public got wind of his own carryings on with a prostitution ring.
Actors are also well known for their affairs. Katherine Hepburn has long been known to be Spencer Tracy’s lover, but his wife would not give him a divorce because they were Catholic. Elizabeth Taylor cheated on Eddie Fisher with Richard Burton, and later married Burton. Twice. When Billy Bob Thornton met Angelina Jolie, he was living with Laura Dern. Dern had once stated that “I left home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I’ve never heard from him again.” Angelina Jolie made the news again when she was linked with a very married Brad Pitt. As anyone with a pulse knows by now, Pitt left wife Jennifer Aniston and hooked up with Jolie. They are still together, and Jolie’s pregnancies and adopted children have made gossip columnists very happy.
Tiger Woods and John Edwards show that no matter how horrid they are affairs never go out of style. My work in progress “Dangerous Curves” (also might be titled “Don’t Call Me ‘Baby’”) includes lots of thought and action about affairs. My main character is a single young woman who has sex with lots of men including a few married ones. Her views of affairs change as she progresses through the book. One thing she notices is that the married man she is seeing gets incredibly jealous whenever she has a date with someone else. As if he has a right to complain about her seeing other men when he has a wife at home. It’s rather ironic that some married men demand exclusivity from their mistresses when they aren’t exclusive themselves.
