Up in Flames: The Basics of Fire Play

This is another guest post for the BDSM Play Feature here on SubmissiveGuide. This post about Fire Play is by Gwendolyn. Enjoy!
I have always been a fire bug and am a volunteer fire fighter. So when I became interested in BDSM and heard about fire play it was definitely top of my list of things [...]

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Poll: What Book are You MOST Interested In

I review books once a month here at Submissive Guide.  I use the affiliate money I get from Amazon to buy those books. Because of the holiday season I will have a bit of money to buy a few review books for the coming year. I have put together a poll on the sidebar (and [...]

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With the Stroke of  a Cane: Enjoying Caning

This is a guest post by Nadia West for the BDSM activities series.
I’m fairly new to caning, but I’ve discovered that I like it a lot (even if I can’t take as much as some people can). I was afraid of canes for a long time because I had heard they’re rough pain-wise. While [...]

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Lactation Play and the Adult Nursing Relationship

This is a guest post by dani. She is a new submissive in an Adult Nursing relationship.You can read about Erotic Lactation at Wikipedia or visit Land of Milk and Honey for more information.

We didn’t start 2009 with any kind of BDSM activities in our lives, so we have quite the journey over the last [...]

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The Impact of Velcro Collars on Their Symbolism

This week’s video post is about velcro collars.
To submissives, a collar is one of the most important things they have. It is a symbol of their commitment, their service and their adoration of a special someone. In most situations, the offering or begging of a collar is not taken lightly. The weight of the matter [...]

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Exploring BDSM in a Guest Post Feature Series

To herald in the New Year I have been able to collect guest posts from some of the best voices in submission to share with you what it’s like to explore and experience their favorite play activities. Over the next few weeks we will learn about flogging and caning, rope bondage and fire play and [...]

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The Top 30 Posts of 2009

A year ago I started a small blog project called Submissive Guide. I wanted it to be an organized place where I could voice my opinions about submission, help novices discover who they are and explore BDSM through the written word. Since that time it has grown to so much more, including an e-book, a [...]

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Let’s Play! BDSM Activites from a Submissive Viewpoint

One of every submissive’s first experiences happens to be in the bedroom or dungeon. That’s why this month I’d like to focus on the joys and pleasures of the things we can explore during scenes and play.
The next few weeks we’ll be hearing about a variety of BDSM activities. Just about every post is a [...]

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Submissive Chat Night 1/12/10 8PM CST – BDSM Play

It’s time again for another chat night here at Submissive Guide. I’d welcome everyone to come on in Tuesday 1/12 for a bit of conversation. The topic is going to be BDSM Play. Anything and everything can be discussed. Please come with questions or a curiosity about different play activities.
Info
When: 1/12/10 8 PM CDT – [...]

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Exploring Impact Play: A Variety of Pleasures

This is a guest post by bgtreasure for the BDSM Play Feature Series here on Submissive Guide.
I choose this topic to write about because it is my favorite form of play and has been since I’ve found this wonderful thing we call “The Lifestyle”.
The general definition of Impact Play that you will find in BDSM [...]

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To herald in the New Year I have been able to collect guest posts from some of the best voices in submission to share with you what it’s like to explore and experience their favorite play activities. Over the next few weeks we will learn about flogging and caning, rope bondage and fire play and more!

If you have a favorite play activity and you’d like to share with the readers what it’s like, please let me know!

You have until January 13th to get me your contributions.

Are you an avid fan of a particular play activity? Would you write a short post about what you experience during the play time; from how it feels, how you respond, what it does to you emotionally and recovery. Sorry, no Dominant posts!

Some ideas for posts:

Spanking,  rope bondage, wax play, metal bondage, orgasm denial or come on command, watersports, play piercing/needle play, humiliation, adult babies and so much more. The sky is the limit.

Here’s what I need from you if you want to help:

• Send me an email (subguide@gmail.com) and let me know you want to write a post about _______ topic.
• Write the post. (At least 500 words and the submissive point of view)
• Write a 3-5 sentence bio with at least one way for people to find you online.
• Send me the finished post! I’ll review it and let you know when it will be posted.
• Enjoy the fame when it shows up on the blog!

crossposted from SubmissiveGuide.com

Donate to Submissive Guide

Submissive Guide is run by your donations, and affiliate purchases. I’m looking ahead into my 2nd year providing quality writing that is meant to help submissives everywhere learn about themselves and the services they wish to provide. I could use your help.

If you find Submissive Guide to be a valuable resource, please consider making a [...]

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SubWise #5 – A Year’s Reflection – Participation Request

Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this:

Write about the topic in your blog or online journal. You don’t have to have a blog to participate. If you have a FetLife account you can use your writing [...]

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The Ins and Outs of Fetishes

“I have a fetish for wool socks, I just love them!”
“I have a fetish for corsets, I can’t get off without thinking of them!”
One of these statements is a sure sign of a fetish; the other is a misuse of the term. Sure this is a poor example. How many times have you heard a  [...]

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Is BDSM the Nerds and Geeks Club?

I was listening to Mistress Matisse’s Guest Appearance the other day on the Savage Lovecast (Ep 163). She talks about a lot of kinky topics that callers ask Dan Savage. Somewhere near the end there was an interesting comment by Dan where he asked MM if nerds and geeks are more likely to be into [...]

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This is a weekly summary of posts on Submissive Guide. To get more frequent notifications, please subscribe to the RSS feed or sign up to get posts via email!

Can You Separate BDSM and Sex?

When Master and I get to play, it’s quite sexually charged. We find the play and the energy we swap as very sexual. Our play time usually ends in sex of some form. That’s just how we roll. Does it always have to be that way? Heck no! In fact, when I was casually playing, [...]

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Chat Night Transcript for Speaking Submissively

This chat was held on December 2nd, 2009.
~lunaKM> So tonight I wanted to talk about speech and how the way we communicate can impact our submission.
Nia> tonight’s topic really struck a chord with me
angel> same here
~lunaKM> I’ve been doing a bit of non-scientific research of my own when I am out and about and am [...]

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SkylerPet’s Helpful Holiday Hints

This post is another guest post by Skylerpet. You can read her other posts here. She’s wants to help us all get through the holidays with less stress. Here’s some tips to help you. If you have other tips for holiday stress, please leave them in the comments!

With the holiday season in full swing, things [...]

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Submissive Chat Night 12/15/09 8 PM CDT – Free Chat

It’s time again for another chat night here at Submissive Guide. I’d welcome everyone to come on in Tuesday 12/15 for a bit of merry conversation. There is no topic set and you can drop in anytime between 8 PM and 9:30 PM CDT.
Info
When: 12/15/09 8 PM CDT – 9:30 PM CDT
Where: Chat room on [...]

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The Roundtable: Money Handling

Gather around the table everyone, I’d like to learn about something I don’t know a lot about. I welcome you to add your thoughts and comments to this post and if you feel an inclination, send me a guest post letting me know what you think.
This month I’d like to talk about money. Here’s the [...]

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This is a weekly summary of posts on Submissive Guide. To get more frequent notifications, please subscribe to the RSS feed or sign up to get posts via email!

Review: Erotic Slavehood

One of the cornerstone books recommended for submissives and Dominants alike has always been Erotic Slavehood by Christina Abernathy. Once two individual books; Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual and Training with Miss Abernathy, this omnibus has everything you could want in a manual about training submissives.
When I first read this book I was in [...]

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SubWise #4: Favorite Scene Memory

Last week I asked you to talk about your favorite scene memory. Here are the submissions I got. There is some excellent advice here folks! Check it out. Make sure you leave comments!
(Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.)
pet’s journey
BDSM is Love
The conversation isn’t over. If you would like to [...]

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Submissive Chat Night 12/1/09 – Speaking Submissively

It’s time for another Submissive Chat Night!
When: Dec 1st at 8pm CST. It is expected to last about 1 1/2 hours.
Topic: Graceful Words: Speaking Submissively

Optional Pre-reading:
Graceful Speech
Etiquette of Speech
The Art of Conversation
Some chat night rules, up for discussion.

I would like to be able to post the edited chat log for the discussion on this website [...]

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Why You Should Sign Up For The Submissive Guide Newsletter

The Submissive Guide Newsletter is your personal direct channel to what’s on my mind. It’s delivered every 2 weeks right to your inbox for you to read at your own leisure. You are missing out if you haven’t signed up. I’ve got so much more to tell you; and I’m doing it with the newsletter. [...]

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One month into my first real time D/S relationship: A Training Review

This is a Guest Post by A. She is a new submissive in her first 24/7 dynamic. I received this wonderfully written review of her first 30 days and she offered to share it with everyone here. Enjoy!
It has come to my attention after reading submissiveguide.com that my training with Sir has already begun, though [...]

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SubWise #4: Favorite Scene Memory – Particpation Request

Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this:

Write about the topic in your blog or online journal. You don’t have to have a blog to participate. If you have a FetLife account you can use your [...]

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Sub v. Slave: A Second Opinion

This is a guest post by Beth, as she will tell you, she’s a 24/7 slave of 2 years and would like to express what she sees as the differences between sub and slave. If you would like to read Rayne’s opinion, you can do so on this post.
First off I would like to introduce myself. [...]

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Curious about Me? Listen to the Interview!

I’ve been interviewed! Dungeon Place Fetish Podcast interviewed me a few weeks ago and it is now live. You can learn about my and my beginnings as well as the birth of Submissive Guide. It’s all there.
Hop on over and listen, and please please leave comments!
Dungeon Place Podcast about 24/7 with Kids, and my interview!

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The Roundtable: Chastity

Gather around the table everyone, I’d like to learn about something I don’t know a lot about. I welcome you to add your thoughts and comments to this post and if you feel an inclination, send me a guest post letting me know what you think.
This month I’d like to talk about chastity. If you [...]

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This is a weekly summary of posts on Submissive Guide. To get more frequent notifications, please subscribe to the RSS feed or sign up to get posts via email!

How to Help Your Dominant Recover from Play

When aftercare is mentioned, it is rarely associated with the Dominant. We hear all about how to help the submissive come down from the endorphin high, treat the marks and aches and emotionally recover from the scene. Do we think that Dominants feel nothing during play that they don’t need care afterwards? Think again.
When we [...]  Read the full story »

Submissive and Slave: A Personal View

This post was written by Rayne. You can follow her twitter for active and interesting conversation.
I’m pretty big on book definitions. So for me, the word “submissive” has always been an adjective describing a personality trait. When I got involved in BDSM, it became, for me, a heading, of sorts, describing a group [...]  Read the full story »

Submissive Chat Night 11/17/09 8 PM CST: Negotiations and Common Sense

It’s time for another Submissive Chat Night! This is a repeat of a chat that was rescheduled due to illness.
When: Nov 17th at 8pm CST. It is expected to last about 1 1/2 hours.
Topic: Negotiations and Common Sense

Optional Pre-reading:

Ouch is Not a Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits and Scene Protocol
Limits and Negotiations
Establishing Limits: Going Full [...]  Read the full story »

5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude to Your Dominant

With Thanksgiving (USA) just around the corner I thought it would be fitting to write about gratitude, and how to express your gratitude to the one you serve. Sure you can say thank you. That’s standard. I really hope you take every opportunity to say thank  you, but what if you want a few more [...]  Read the full story »

Best BDSM Fiction for Hot Steamy Nights

I love reading BDSM fiction, erotica and other service books. I broke my kinky teeth on the Story of O so I can’t ignore it on this list, but it’s not the best of the best. I’d like to offer up the books that I love and enjoy to read; most of which I like [...] Read the full story »

Write About Your Favorite BDSM Play Activity for Submissive Guide

I’m planning a series of posts in JANUARY related to BDSM activities. Are you an avid fan of a particular play activity? Would you write a short post about what you experience during the play time; from how it feels, how you respond, what it does to you emotionally and recovery. Sorry, no Dominant posts! [...]

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Am I Submissive?

So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t [...]

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Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship

When you get married, you have to legally sign a document attesting to your decision to be married. The legal document can come in many forms but most have a brief section about what each party declares for the union, how they will treat each other and how commitment will be displayed (change of names [...]Read the full story »

The Disposable Relationship Mentality

I’ve been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I’m old school or old fashioned but what I’m seeing in today’s society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships. As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn’t always easy to achieve and you may have to work hard to get it. I applied this to everything in my life; … Read the full story »

SubWise #3: Ease of Obedience Last week I asked you to talk about the easiness of obedience to you. Here are the submissions I got. There is some excellent advice here folks! Check it out. Make sure you leave comments! (Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.) This girl Master Stone’s Princess Slave to Don The conversation isn’t over. If you would like to share your advice, please do so in the comments! Readers who viewed …Read the full story »

Submissive Chat Night 11/3/09: Views On Protocol

It’s time for another chat night here at Submissive Guide. This week’s topic will be one I am very interested in. As always, the chat is expected to last about 1 1/2 hours and is open to everyone. When: 11/03/09 at 8:00pm Central Time Where: Chat room located on the website Topic: Different Views on Protocl I will be asking you to give me permission to save a transcript of the chat session and … Read the full story »

Review: Protocols: a Variety of Views

If you are looking for a varied account of protocol then this book is perfect! Part of Power Exchange Books’ Resource Series Protocols: a Variety of Views is a collection of essays written by people living a life with protocol in place. You will get every opinion represented here as well as a few book reviews at the end of other protocol related books you might be interested in. Compiled of … Read the full story »