Kinky Sex Link

My new article about slut shaming and young, single straight women who want to enjoy their sexuality is up at On The Issues, the premiere feminist magazine. Here’s an excerpt:

American society is not kind to sexually active, single, straight women, especially when virginity is so popular among political talking heads. The purity movement and “hooking up” culture are at loggerheads, creating a great deal of confusion.

Chances are, if you’re a woman who enjoys playing the field, you’ve been called a slut, whore, tramp, and a host of other slurs. There is no equivalent set of words for guys who play the field, and the words that describe them are positive, something to aspire to: Lothario, player, stud, Casanova. “Slut” is designed to humiliate and negatively judge a sexually active woman simply because she has a vagina.

But what if a young woman wants to explore her sexuality? What if she does not want to wait for marriage or isn’t really all that interested in marriage to begin with?

To read the rest, go to On The Issues:

http://www.ontheissuesmagazine.com/2010summer/2010summer_Black.php

Lizzie

This year’s Montreal Fetish Weekend will be extra exciting as I will be presenting my Cell Popping Workshop. This is truly a unique opportunity for you to learn about a rare form of FIRE PLAY/BRANDING. There are but a handful of qualified people who offer this type of a workshop in the entire world. A special treat: I will create a lovely design on the charming Miss Susan from Toronto. It is a NOT-TO-BE-MISSED event! It is but one of many really fabulous workshops offered this year, even a few exclusively French ones. Just see the current tantalizing list below (may be modified so check the Montreal Fetish Weekend website.)

Workshops will take place Saturday & Sunday Sept 4-5th at the Hotel des Gouverneurs, 1415 St. Hubert Street, in the Ballroom. There are 3 ways to attend workshops:- VIP holders have free access, a $40 per day pass or a $60 weekend pass.

Exclusive LadyEvyl.com offer

SAVE & SUPPORT the ALCC!

Purchase the 60$ 2-DAY WORKSHOP PASS and save 20$ over the regular price at the door purchase price. 25% of all purchases will go to the ALCC, Montreal’s Alternative Lifestyle Community Center.

- Send me an email if you wish to pay by cash, before or at the event , or order via Paypal below

En français

Le Montreal Fetish Weekend cette année sera très excitant car je vais présenter mon atelier de Cell Popping. C’est vraiment une occasion unique pour apprendre une forme rare de JEUX DE FEU/BRANDING. Il existe qu’une poignée de gens qualifiés qui offrent ce type d’atelier dans le monde entier. Une présentation spécials: je vais créer un joli design sur la charmante Miss Susan de Toronto. Il s’agit d’un événement À-NE-PAS-MANQUER! Ceci n’est qu’un des nombreux fabuleux ateliers offerts cette année, certains exclusivement en français. Il ne suffit que de voir l’alléchante liste actuelle ci-dessous (peut être modifié donc vérifier le site Montreal Fetish Weekend.

Les atelier auront lieu Samedi & Dimanche les 4 et 5 Sept à L’Hotel des Gouverneurs, 1415 St. Hubert, dans la Salle de Bal. Il y a 3 façons pour participer aux ateliers: passe VIP (c’est inlcus), la passe 1 jour à $40 ou la passe weekend à $60.

Offre Exclusive sur LadyEvyl.com

ÉCONOMISEZ & ENCOURAGEZ le CCVA!

Achetez la PASSE ATELIER 2-JOURS au coût de 60$ et économisez 20$ sur le coût d’amission à la porte. 25% de ce montant sera remis au CCVA, le Centre Communautaire pour les Styles de Vie Alternatifs de Montréal.

- Envoyez moi un courriel si vous désirez payer comptant, avant ou sur place le jour même, ou commander via Paypal ci-haut

Visit the website of the

MFW WORKSHOPS IN ENGLISH

CELL POPPING – Mystress Lady Evyl

Come learn about the newest unusual branding technique called Cell Popping. This type of branding consists of tiny, round burns on the skin. Hundreds or thousands of these little marks are combined to create a pointillist design.

EROTIC FIREPLAY BASICS – Pierre Black

What you need to know to safely set you partner on fire quite literally! The how, what, where, and why of erotic heat and fire with a special accent on at-home safety and pleasure dynamics for truly hot play!

EXPLORING CONSEQUENCES – Rigger Jay

Come examine mental and physical games of cause and effect, from simple tasks with intriguing rewards/punishments to kinky Rube Goldberg machines.

WAX PLAY – ALL LEVELS – Contessa Alura

This is a hands-on workshop that will cover various aspects for using hot wax as a form of excitement and eroticism for sensual and intense stimulation. All materials provided.

INTRODUCTION TO SUBMISSION WRESTLING – Mr O.

This introductory level session shows the application of submission wrestling for play. The focus is on techniques that are easy to learn and apply, allowing both players to enjoy their scene safely.

FETISH MODELING – Madria

Be it for pleasure of for profesional purposes, this is an interactive workshop that gives women an insight into sensual posing. Come dresed-up in your favorite fetish wear and lets have fun. Starting with a few tips and a brief photo slide show, ladies are then invited step in front of the camera and test their newfound knowledge. Photos will be emailed following the event.

ALTERNATIVE FITNESS – Maiko Starr

A short introduction to pole dancing with basics spin on the pole and choreography.

MASTER / submissive PROTOCOL – Sir Paul

A workshop set to demistify Master/slave roleplay. How to find the proper play partner and insure a lasting, secure and stable play relationship. How to avoid misunderstandings between players.

SPANKING 101 – Master Kindred

Finding the Pleasures & Pain with spanking and percussion play. This work shop is to provide a different vantage on one of the most basic of play tools, the “hands”. Most everyone has them, but not everyone knows all the deviant & fun ways in which you can use them for play.

ELECTRICAL PLAY – Dunter

Discover the world of electrical play. Learn about the functionality and security aspect of electrical toys. Demonstration and exploration of the known electrical devices such as: tens unit, violet wand, tazer, zapper , fuck machine and electrical collar.

PLEASURE TRAINING – Ze’ev

Imagine, if you will… having a completely mind bending, time distorting, explosive orgasm, sending echoes through each and every part of your body and your mind multiple times, again and again, making you tingly everywhere and unsure whether it’s been a minute, an hour or even a day since that first sensation which sent you into a whirlpool of being so consumed with pleasure, ecstasy and joy, that everything else just ceased to exist.

MFW ATELIER EN FRANÇAIS

HUMILIATION – Dame Elfya

Qu’elle est son bût réel dans le jeu D/s et BDSM alors que celle-ci reste souvent méconnue. L’humiliation représente l’humilité. J’expliquerai l’aspect évolutif et le renforcement positif pour le joueur tout en ayant pour bût de construire une meilleure confiance et estime de soi

RENCONTRE LATEX – Maitresse Zyra & Malcye Doll

DOLLIFICATION – Steffy The Rubber Doll

DRESSAGE – Karen Chessman

While I love writing about sex toys, my true love is erotic fiction. I will appear several times on Beth Wylde’s Yahoo Group this month talking about GLBT issues and promoting my books, in particular “Feral Heat” (m/m/f, m/m), “Lost In Her Mouth” (f/f), “Neighbors” (f/f), and my upcoming June 11, 2010 release “The Fountain Of Youth” (m/m).

Here’s the link to Beth’s Yahoo group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bethwylde

My release party for “The Fountain Of Youth” will be on Beth’s group on June 24, 2010 from noon until I drop. I will host a contest and a lucky winner will get a FREE copy of “The Fountain Of Youth”!

Look for more contests during the month.

Here are dates. Mark your calendars!

June 07 – GLBTQ open discussion
June 11 – Release Date – “The Fountain Of Youth”.
June 14 – Gay male fiction day – win a free copy of “Feral Heat”!
June 15 – Bi writer’s day
June 21 – F/F day – contests! Win free copy of “Neighbors” and “Lost In Her Mouth”.
June 24 – My chat day with contest! Win a copy of “The Fountain Of Youth”
June 28 – GLBTQ BDSM day

I’m looking forward to talking to all of those who love GLBTQ fiction.

x-post from Mystress Lady Evyl

A little while back I wrote a blog about how I wanted to start offering workshops to small groups about various topics within our alternative lifestyle. Well the timing of my plans and the new ALCC could not have been more perfect!

The Alternative Lifestyle Community Center (Centre Communautaire pour les styles de vie Alternatifs de Montréal) is a free and open space where like minded individuals can meet, share, learn, build and create meaningful relationships, discover, and seek information without fear, judgment, or discrimination.

Last night I attended the grand opening and it was a huge success. I could only come for a short while and got there very early. I expected the place to be quiet. I was wrong…at 5h20pm the place was already packed. Such a great sign for the future! Countess Allura, a fabulous wonderful lady I am happy to call my friend, is the founder of this center. Amazing my dear! I am so proud of you!

And yes of course I will be giving my workshops here. I am very excited. I already have dates on the schedule. So COME SEE ME AT MY WORKSHOPS.

Wednesday, May 12

7-8pm: What is Protocol – Lady Evyl (English)

Wednesday, May 26

7-8pm: C’est quoi le Protocol – Lady Evyl (Français)

Wednesday, June 9

7-8pm: Let’s Have a Ball -CBT Intro – Lady Evyl (English)

Wednesday, June 16

7-8pm: On s’amuse avec les boules – Intro au CBT – Lady Evyl (Français)

More about the Alternative Lifestyle Community:

We provide information, education, counseling, socialization, and support through activities, workshops, seminars, discussion groups, certified psychologists, drop-in hours, and resource materials.

We welcome all people 18 years of age or older from any religion, culture, spirituality, race, age, distinction, minority, majority, orientation, identity, preference, sexuality, that may be curious about, questioning, or living an alternative lifestyle. We also welcome those who are concerned, opposing, or uncertain about alternative lifestyles and encourage you to come to the center to learn more.

We encourage you to drop by and ask questions, familiarize yourself with the various activities being offered at the center, or simply sit on our comfy couch and read some of the literature we have available.

The center is YOUR place to call your own and feel welcome.

Today is May 4th, also known as Star Wars Day so “May The 4th Be With You”. Bah dah bum!

Star Wars Day would not be complete without some porn, so visit this site full of Star Wars Porn, including this amusing picture:

The Force is strong in that one.

[This post first appeared on my blog, The Countess.]

I have long been fascinated with affairs, ever since I was in college and I realized that some married men would screw anything female with legs, as long as the woman presented herself to him in an appealing manner. I was occasionally that woman. It wasn’t just men who cheated on their spouses. Women have cheated countless times throughout history.

Is it really cheating if you never meet in person, leaving your sweaty paw prints all over the computer screen when interacting with your honey? I recall an article about a guy who was addicted to the online role playing game “Second Life”, and his real life wife was not happy that he had cheated on her with a woman he had “married” in the game. I found the real life wife posting on the Yahoo group EverQuest Widows, and she was so pissed about the article and all the new things she learned about her husband’s cyber affair that she had decided to divorce his ass.

Get a load of this near-miss one man had with his wife:

When Tim’s wife opened the Valentine’s Day gift he had mailed to her, he knew he was in trouble when she pulled an eight-inch purple butt plug out of the box.

That gift was meant for his cyber playmate. The company had shipped it to the wrong address.

He stammered, telling her it was really for him. He’s into bondage and sadistic play. She’s not.

He likes cybersex. He likes kinky web sites, in particular BDSM web sites. He said that he had done it “often when I had a day job that allowed unfiltered access to the Internet.”

He doesn’t consider his cyber-relationships affairs.

“They’re flirtations,” he said. “There’s no face-to-face.

Is it really an affair if it’s only on the Internet? What about hot, steamy e-mail exchanges? The concensus from my research into that article was that, yes, indeed, a married person who has cybersex is having an affair. Energy, attention, and sometimes even money are paid to the person who is not the adulterer’s spouse.

Here are some movies and books that address the time-honored practice of infidelity:

Anna Karenina
Double Indemnity
Casablanca
The Scarlet Letter
Body Heat
Same Time, Next Year
The Bridges Of Madison County
Indecent Proposal
Brief Encounter
The Postman Always Rings Twice
52 Pick Up

Affairs figure prominently amongst political scandals. Former President Bill Clinton is better known today for Monica Lewinsky’s blow jobs than for much of his public policy. Ministers such as Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart have seen their empires fall due to their inability to keep it in their pants. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer saw his power crumble after the public got wind of his own carryings on with a prostitution ring.

Actors are also well known for their affairs. Katherine Hepburn has long been known to be Spencer Tracy’s lover, but his wife would not give him a divorce because they were Catholic. Elizabeth Taylor cheated on Eddie Fisher with Richard Burton, and later married Burton. Twice. When Billy Bob Thornton met Angelina Jolie, he was living with Laura Dern. Dern had once stated that “I left home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I’ve never heard from him again.” Angelina Jolie made the news again when she was linked with a very married Brad Pitt. As anyone with a pulse knows by now, Pitt left wife Jennifer Aniston and hooked up with Jolie. They are still together, and Jolie’s pregnancies and adopted children have made gossip columnists very happy.

Tiger Woods and John Edwards show that no matter how horrid they are affairs never go out of style. My work in progress “Dangerous Curves” (also might be titled “Don’t Call Me ‘Baby’”) includes lots of thought and action about affairs. My main character is a single young woman who has sex with lots of men including a few married ones. Her views of affairs change as she progresses through the book. One thing she notices is that the married man she is seeing gets incredibly jealous whenever she has a date with someone else. As if he has a right to complain about her seeing other men when he has a wife at home. It’s rather ironic that some married men demand exclusivity from their mistresses when they aren’t exclusive themselves.

[This post first appeared on my blog, The Countess.]

Under the “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” category is a study that found that work hours in excess of seventy per week wreck havok on your sex life and your marriage. Executives tend to work those kinds of hours, so they should take heed.

Apparently, these long working hours in executive positions is called “the extreme job“. I certainly would not like to work like that. What kind of life would that be?

People with extreme jobs don’t hate their jobs. In fact, the opposite is the case. They love their jobs. They brag about their earnings, their long hours, their work, and all the travel they have to do. The problem is that their families are suffering. Their sexual relationship with their spouses is in the toilet.

Harvard Business Review published the study. Those who work in extreme jobs consider a ten-hour work day a part-time job. What the hell kind of nonsense is that? It’s not new, though. Work hours in general are longer now than they were decades ago. The forty hour work week is getting to be a thing of the past. Plus, there is little job security. I remember that DuPont has laid off a bunch of workers a couple of years ago – just before Christmas. What a great present. I also suspect that those who work in extreme jobs aren’t pulling in the kinds of benefits that jobholders have had in decades past. They don’t take vacations or days off. They even go to work on days that they normally have off. These kinds of jobs also involve travel and “evening entertainment”, which was not identified. As far as I know, that could be anything from mandatory meetings at restaurants to after-work seminars and even meetings in strip clubs, which suck if you’re a woman surrounded by a gaggle of horny guys and you’re trying to discuss the latest sales figures. If anyone reading this post can identify what is meant by “evening entertainment”, please post in comments.

The article I link to described problems men and women in extreme jobs have, saying that “nearly half of men and women who took part in the international research project said their jobs “interfere with having a strong relationship with my spouse/partner.” So much time is spent on the job that relationships with spouses and children suffer. This includes the sexual relationship. These extreme job workers are too tired for sex. That’s not a good thing.

I’d rather see people scale back their working hours and enjoy their lives, but many jobs these days require longer hours and less time with families. I’ve always known that the workplace had never been family-friendly, but it seems to be getting worse. I’m glad I make my own work hours and control how I spend my time.

Anyone reading in an extreme job, or just have ridiculous working hours? Do you enjoy your job? How is your family life faring? Care to discuss the issue in comments?