Kinky Sex Link

I always prefer to play in my San Francisco nursery, but last weekend it was all booked up for a private function, so I decided to get a little hotel room instead. I was really exciited because I thought I would finally get to have my rocking horse, Horatio, out again. But the room was too small. It was my fault for cheaping out. I went into it with a spending limit in mind. Next time I’ll pick based on size and whether or not there’s a tub. (Seriously, what’s up wtih all the hotel rooms that don’t have tubs these days?) It was still really fun, though. It was for a sissification/adult baby scene. I took some pictures before so you can see.

A view of the bed. I brought my own lace, heart pillows to make the bed look cuter.

Fun things: a jump rope, teddy bears, little girl puzzles, a board game, coloring books, stickers, bubbles, a jump rope, and a Disney princess tea set.

A special present that I brought for my playmate and a stack of fresh Bambino diapers.

Two bedtime stories and a gothic lolita magazine. (I actually know one of the girls pictured inside!)

Vylette (nee Violette) the bunny and Champagne, the musical elephant. Two special stuffed animals. Vylette is wearing a diaper!

A good Mistress/Mommy is always prepared for a naughty baby.

The famous pink diaper bag, loaded with bottles, wipes, petroleum jelly, baby powder, baby lotion, diaper pinks, bibs, pacifiers, and everything else an adult baby might need.

The desk with my pink iPod and sissy make-up.

A close up of the tools of feminization. I don’t usually bring eye stuff because I think that’s too likely to cause an infection–especially mascara.

A huge stuffed bear.

A vibrating rubber ducky and make-up removal wipes to get rid of those tell-tale colors.

The little sissy’s special dress. Sorry, other sissies: you have to get your own or wear one of the other ones!

From PamperedPenny.com.

Like most sex workers, I have an obsession with any depiction of sex workers in the mass media. I’ve been watching “Satisfaction,” an Australian show that started in 2007. I’m only on the first season, but there’s a character who is a male adult baby.While the depiction isn’t entirely accurate (I’ve never met an AB who is so completely asexual) it is very pro-AB. The escort he hires as his Mummy is a lesbian and they use that as a way to draw parallels between homosexual rights and his desire for “a clean nappy and the right to suck my thumb.” He lost his job as a school principal upon being discovered, which I can sort of see the logic behind. My problem isn’t that he’s an AB, but that he can’t keep his private life separate from his work. If I knew ANYTHING about my kid’s principal’s sexlife, I’d think it was really inappropriate. What the heck was the character doing that people found out that he likes to wear diapers and hire a woman to pretend to be his Mummy and take care of him? At the very least, he needed a lesson in discretion.

They also circumvented some issues. The sex thing for one. Although a lot of ABs claim it’s not sexual, I’ve never met one who turned down sex in nappies when it was offered. Never. Then again, my site is 100% porn, so maybe they just don’t come here. They also didn’t deal with the wetting and messing issue. When he insisted on a diaper change, the Mummy was reluctant only to discover that he was only faking. Relieved, she went along with it.

There was another issue that came up in a later episode that wasn’t really delt with realistically, but I certainly wish it had been. The AB was throwing a tantrum and kicked the Mummy so hard that she fell over. Snapping out of AB mode he came around and apologised extensively, explaining that he had gotten carried away, then leaving promptly. I had a client who puked in session once and then expected me to clean him up. He was, of course, disappointed when I reminded him that I was a professional Mommy, not his mother, and that I have limits that need to be respected, one of them being vomit.

It was really cute seeing the Mummy ask some of the questions that most people do when they first encounted infantilism. One of the things she calls him on is that he can walk, to which he hautilly responds, “I’m a toddler, then!” When she asks him why he doensn’t even want to get help he asks, “Am I hurting somebody? Am I a threat?” In other words, why fix it if it ain’t broken?

One tough issue they don’t skirt is the difference between real maternal love and the special intimacy between a Mummy and an AB. The Mummy is actually trying to start a family with her partner and they’re able to compare her desire to be a mother with her in-scene reactions.

Overall I think that they did a really good job representing an adult baby on the show, his weaknesses, his strengths, his innocence. It’s just too bad that they didn’t spend more time on it.

A nice, long podcast on my approach to sissificaiton, basic types of sissies, scene elements, and more.

Link list:

Sissy Academy Yahoo! Group

SissificationSF.com – live sessions

Virtual Sissification – long distance training, maid academy, MP3s, diary, etc.

Sissy Quiz – What kind of sissy are you?

I’ve put out a new episode of my podcast, this time a conversation with my friend Miss Eliza. She talks about how hard it is to find a houseboy, being detained by customs for being kinky, violence, medical play, and lots lots lots more.

I always make the title of the podcast something taken out of context from whomever I’m talking to. This episode is called “Never Saw So Many Assholes In My Life”.

I’m very grateful that I know people who are willing to open themselves up and have a conversation like this recorded. It takes guts to put yourself out there like that. I’m just the guy asking the questions, they’re doing the important stuff.

You can listen on the Masocast website or subscribe in iTunes.   

A while ago I was doing a podcast , but it proved to be a pain in the butt, so I stopped. However, I decided to start it up again on my own terms and the first new entry I did was on ABDL! It came out to be a little long, though. ^_^ I didn’t even get to cover all of the basics! Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments. You can listen to it here.

Yesterday I had a session with N, a brand new AB boy who drove a whole hour one way just to come and see me. It ended up being a great session, but I have to admit I was really apprehensive leading up to it.

I get scores of applications from inexperienced ABs and DLs who have never seen a pro-domme before and don’t know how to set up a session or the proper etiquette to use around a sex worker. (Even though I’m a Mommy and not an escort or stripper, I suggest reading Paying for It, a book that deals with all the issues that seem like common sense in retrospect but can be a little tricky the first time around.) Most of them don’t go to session and I don’t even respond to a number of them either because they have unrealistic expectations and it’s clear that they’ll be disappointed or because they haven’t properly typed in their email address and I can’t. :p Some of the warning signs that may lead me not to respond to an application are asking if I do things I say I don’t in my limitations, asking excessive questions, wanting a really long session when the prospective client hasn’t seen anyone before, and only providing a vague idea of what they’d like to do in a session. This guy did all of those things. Still, I decided to book with him–after getting a deposit, of course. (I require one from anyone with no references and sometimes from those who do have references.) I don’t know why I decided to book with him. I’ve booked with a couple of ABs like this before and they both canceled last minute. Still, I’m glad I did now.

He showed up on time, wearing a pull up Depend diaper under his clothes, which he had wet a little bit. I took him into the negotiation room to explain the rules and ask if there was anything he especially wanted to try that day or if he had any questions, like I do with all new clients. When that was out of the way, I had him take off his jacket and shoes so that we could get started.

The first thing to do was to get him out of his wet pull up–which was really just damp–and told him that if he was going to wet his diapers like a baby, I was going to diaper him like a baby. He could still wear grown-up diapers like Depends when he had to diaper himself, but around me, he was going to wear baby diapers. He went into AB mode right away. Sometimes I have to coax a new playmate into letting go, but he just dove right in! I took him over to the bed where I like to change people, since it’s bigger and lower than the medical table, laid out the changing pad, and got out two thick Molicare diapers. I cut the first one to allow it to overflow into the second diaper. I wanted him to wet like a big boy, even if he was going to look like a baby. And to make sure he did look like a baby, I put some cute, Winnie the Pooh tapes on the front of his top diaper. It looked very sweet.

The rest of the day was pretty fun, too. He had a bath and a massage with baby lotion, story time, nap time, a snack of chocolate pudding, colored a picture, and got to play with the toys. Like most AB boys, he proved a little violent, smashing the stuffed animals together and forcing a giraffe to kiss a bear, then claiming that they liked it. :p He also wanted to try out some cloth diapers, which I put him into with my locking plastic pants. Since he’s new and didn’t really know about everything yet, I took the time while he was playing with his toys to fold and organize the plastic pants, explaining each pair to him and telling him what I did and didn’t like about all the different options. Towards the end of the day he made a creamy diaper, which I made him wear while we ran to the cafe down the street for some coffee, then it was back to the space for a quick change into one of his Depend diapers, and it was time to go.

I usually don’t like to do really long sessions with new clients because I’m not sure how we’ll click and if they don’t give me a lot to go on, I’m kind of flying blind. I mean, I don’t want to do something that will ruin the whole session for them, you know? But I think this one time it went pretty well. He sent a little thank you note once he got home and we may do another session some time, which would be just fine by me!

I was reading this article on the American Journal of Psychiatry website called “Adult Baby Syndrome“. I was surprised to identify more with the psychiatrist seeing the adult baby than the adult baby! The basic summary is that this guy came asked to see a female therapist to help him grow up so that he could at some point achieve a normal domestic setting with a wife and children, but once he started coming to the meetings, he wouldn’t actually talk about anything, almost refusing to converse as an adult. Instead he just lied on the couch, drinking his bottle, and staring provocatively at the poor therapist. He kept asking to go somewhere to be made into a baby, to see the therapist in a nursery setting, and to have perscription for diapers to make him a baby. At the same time, he did understand that he wasn’t actually an infant. It seems that outside of work he spent all his time as an adult baby to the point that he had no friends and no girlfriend.

While a trip to the therapist’s office does sound like a hot way to start an AB scene (we actually just shot something like this upon recommendation from one of my live clients with me as the therapist and Cherry Torn as the AB), I have to wonder why this guy didn’t just go see a pro-domme. He mentioned wanting that perscription for diapers to make them less expensive, so maybe it was a financial issue. If he saw a therapist, perhaps his insurance helped pay for it. Or maybe he didn’t know that there were professional Mommies (unlikely) or he thought a scene with a pro wouldn’t feel “real” if he was paying a sex worker to create his fantasy.

Some of the email I’ve received from ABs and don’t receive from any other type of client leads me to believe it’s that last reason. I get a lot of emails from guys telling me that they can’t afford to buy one of my $10 videos. Since they’re not homeless, I’m guessing this isn’t true. They just feel like I’m being more maternal if I give them the video. Because real mothers always make dirty movies for their pre-verbal babies to watch on the computer, right? *rolls eyes* Still, it does seem to be a mental block particular to ABs. I just don’t understand it, maybe because I’m a pro Mommy.

From what I’ve read on other pro Mommy websites this seems to be a common theme. Pro Dominas don’t explain why they charge for their services like I’ve seen a few AB Mommies do on their sites. It’s understood that pro Dommes see hundreds of people and are in great demand, but if we only stuck with our partners, all those left over male players would just be SOL. We provide a valuable service and expect to be appropriately compensated and appreciated for it. A pro Mommy is no different. Not to mention that our landlords don’t make the rent on nurseries free, diaper companies don’t send us free diapers, toy companies don’t send us free toys, and we don’t have dozens of extra hours per week where we can just play and give up income. We like to maintain a basic standard of living. Believe me, we’re not raking it in. No matter what the glamorous pro Domme websites say, most of us are middle class and work very hard promoting and maintaining our businesses–just like everyone else.

But I’m wandering too far from the subject: the guy in the article. I understand why his therapist couldn’t give him what he needed, and I say needed because it was so consuming it had taken over his entire private life, but I don’t understand why he couldn’t get it himself. I also understand why his therapist couldn’t tell him what he needed to hear, which was that he had three options.

1. He could keep harassing nurses via the phone at night and having unfulfilling sessions with random therapists, being a nuisance that no one wanted to deal with and spending most of his time alone. I.e. stay the course.
2. He could find a job in and move to an area more accepting of adult babies (like San Francisco!) and get involved in the community, meeting other ABs and maybe someday even finding a Mommy. This way he could make all those friends he didn’t have and still completely be himself outside of work. This may not have worked for him because he seemed to want to exclude males from his scenes and there would be other AB males at play parties.
3. He could stop wearing diapers so often and find a girlfriend and start making friends, saving up his cash for a monthly visit to a pro Mommy. He could keep any tell-tale AB items at her space and otherwise have a traditional adult life.

Of course I would go for the second or third option, but this guy just seemed not to get it. Maybe making people uncomfortable was part of his kink. While in general I think the second option is best, for this particular guy, I would think that the third option would be preferable, due to the conclusions that his therapists drew about him, namely that “She [the therapist or fantasy Mother figure] must be completely under his control, an object that gratifies his fantasy life”, which is a role best filled by a skilled pro, and ” he had trouble establishing an intimate relationship, and his social isolation was striking”, which leads me to believe he might have trouble within the AB community, even as himself and may just come out feeling more isolated and revert back to making annoying phone calls and setting up therapy sessions under false pretenses.

This also reminded me of something I saw on some AB site a bit ago. Unfortunately I can’t remember which one. It advocated looking for a Mommy in the form of a healthcare homeworker, claiming diagnosis for a psychological need to act like a baby, which of course doesn’t really exist and if it did, how could you pick up the phone to schedule your own care? Sneaking a realationship based on lies and misunderstandings just seems so low, assuming that they agency would believe you and not just hang up in the first place. In addition, it’s using up resources that are meant to help people who really do need them and it’s unlikely the homeworker is really going ot understand what it is that the AB needs and wants. Even if she did, it would be inappropriate for him or her to snuggle up with the AB and lovingly offer a bottle, talking about how sweet the baby is and how he or she is going to change the AB’s diapers.

Overall the article was an interesting read, though of course I’m frustrated that this seems to be the only guy who represents adult babies to the Psychiatric world. On the other hand, I don’t think being an AB in itself is wrong, so why should healthy ABs seek counseling? This guy seems to have just been completely clueless and inconsiderate. The article probably spoke to me more than your average AB, though, since I could identify with the therapist’s frustration over an AB who refused to answer questions as an adult or schedule in advance. (Be in grown-up mode when you book! The phone and computer are NOT for babies!) As for the guy, I can only hope that he manages to get the wake-up call he needs in order to lead a fulfilling life as a grown-up or as a diapered AB.

I’ve always said that I would never do a very blatant public humiliation scene, but last weekend I did one that was pretty out there.

A lot of ABs and sissies enjoy being made to wear their diapers in public, which is just fine with me, but it usually doesn’t go beyond wearing and perhaps calling me “Mommy.” These scenes tend to be more about intimacy and acceptance, but of course tons of players seem to want scenes more about making other people uncomfortable and rubbing their kink in the public’s face. I was never into those types of scenes and don’t think I ever will be, but I found a happy medium with J.

He’s a really sweet guy who likes to call himself more of a DL, but definitely has an AB side. He’s what I’d like to think ABs are like: sweet, quiety, a little shy, complacent, and very realistic. We had planned to do a trip to Disneyland that was cancelled at the last minute and, while I think it would have been TONS of fun, I wouldn’t have been comfortable with such blatant play in front of so many kids, even if their sugar-addled little brains were totally focused on Cinderella or Goofy or whoever. Instead, he stopped over and we took a trip to the mall.

So what was so shocking? Not much, evidently. We walked around for a bit while I carried a diaper bag full of diapers, bottles, baby powder, pacifiers, and other regression basics. He was wearing two disposable diapers, since I felt one was too thin. When he did need to go to the little boys’ room to change, he just got rid of the bottom one, moved the outter one a layer in, and added a new diaper. Very economical. As we walked around, I’d occasionally lift up his shirt to explose the plastic waistband or pull him into a corner to check if he was wet. He was more or less dry at first, but later on when he’d had some water that boy was constantly WET.

All this isn’t too far outside of the realm of what I usually do, though. What was that he hadn’t drunk any water beforehand, so I needed to get him hydrated before things could get interesting. I got a couple of bottles of water and was just going to make him drink one when I remembered the bottles in my diaper bag. I didn’t know if he’d go for it, so I asked and he said that he would drink from a baby bottle if I wanted him to. So, we sat down at one of those higher tables in the food court. He would take a furtive sip and then hide the bottle behind the table, which was fine with me. I wasn’t too sure about what we were doing either.

A bit later it was time for him to have some water again. We didn’t sit down this time, though. I just went to hand him the bottle, but he didn’t feel comfortable drinking it while walking around. Again, that was fine with me, but I was feeling excited, so I felt like we should do something a little more risque. I told him that if he didn’t want his bottle, I’d feed it to him. At this point he said he’d take the bottle, but it was too late. I was already looking for a place to sit down. We found some low, leather chairs with side tables. I had him sit in a chair while I perched on a table and gave him the bottle. I’ve never seen anyone drain a bottle so quickly.

Surprisingly, no one seemed to mind. One girl made a weird face when J drank his own bottle at the table, but that was it. I’m not sure I want to push the envelope much more than I already did, but it was thrilling to see a grown man do these things because I’d told him to. Of course, I usually would not have done anything like that, but I think the idea was so appealing with J because he was sincerely embarrassed and wasn’t trying to push the scene on me. Of course it happens all the times in professional scenes, but I really don’t like ABs who top from the bottom. I can still feel like a Mistress if a slave asks me to lighten up or use a different implement, but, for some reason, I really don’t like to be told what to do as a Mommy. It takes me right out of headspace. I think it’s because I like to see the strength in a slave who knows his body and limitations and can give me feedback in order to better control him, but I feel that ABs are meant to be sweet little toys, seen and not heard.

I really enjoyed the scene, though, and hope to repeat it.

As I wrote last week I was asked to be a part of a fashion show, so I have an update. First, I didn’t fall and bust my ass while working the floor. As one would expect it was a mad house. And before the evening was over I was through with smelling my favorite things, latex and leather. Lady Sabrina was the only designer to have all women in her show. So you could imagine the look on our faces when one of the organizers walked in and started to scream. “oh my god what are those things?” Or something like that, yep he was referring to our breast. Lady Sabrina has some beautiful clothes, and was determined to make me a girl. I had eyed  a skirt I wanted to wear. So before the show I stepped outside to have a smoke and pray to the BDSM Goddess I’d get to wear it. While running for the elevator who would be there, but Mistress Mir. The Goddess just might have heard my prayer.

The skirt I wanted to wear was similar to the one Darque de Sade had photographed Mistree Mir in. There was a conspiracy between Lady Sabrina and Ms. Pedals to make me look and walk like woman. The first outfit was a short sliver dress with a plugging neck line, which I had to keep pulling down since I am a sista in the back. I couldn’t believe she wouldn’t let me wear my timberlines with it. I did ask.  As I slipped on the skirt of my second outfit and was cinched into the corset I really could say I was as happy as a little girl. Corset tight boots fierce. I was so excited I told one of the guys that Mistress Mir was here and that the skirt was similar. I wanted to bow or something when I passed her, or should I curtsy? Well I should have known curtsy I was talking to gay guys.

I took their advice and when passing Mistress Mir I curtsied.

The Master of ceremony BK which I don’t believe stands for burger king was a lot of fun and I could not tell you what came over me. Maybe it was the skirt or the boots but I threw a little shade, and I gave him the hand. And in true form he threw some shade back. It was all in fun and what’s a little shade for charity?

There’s more but that will have to wait.

I had a really great regression session yesterday, mainly because it involved depilation, which my regression scenes rarely do. Of course I understand why this is (wives and girlfriends) but I’ve always found it to be a very powerful part of the scene and is something I enjoy in private.

Of course the young man in question was being regressed because he’d been caught abusing himself and because he’d been having a number of accidents at school. As his Mommy, I decided humiliation was the only answer. We would simply have to scrap him and start all over in the nursery.

First he was stripped of his clothes, which I folded and took away while he stood in the corner, nervously trying to hide his bare bottom. Before he could be regressed he needed to be spanked, both to show him that his behavior was unacceptable and to make him feel small and submissive, so that he wouldn’t give me any trouble. For this I took him over my knee and used my hand and hairbrush until he was squirming pitifully, begging me to stop and promising that he would never touch himself again. I asked if he would ever wet himself again. He said no, which of course just meant more spanks for lying.

Once he’d been thoroughly spanked and accepted his punishment by no longer squirming, he was taken to the bed and tied firmly down. I brought in a bowl of warm water, shaving cream, and scissors. His member was tied so as to ensure that he couldn’t enjoy being handled inappropriately–especially since there had been evidenge that he’d enjoyed his spanking. He was very calm while being shaved. I think he was afraid to move and worried about becoming aroused while his cock was bent in half and tied to itself. I’ve heard it’s pretty unpleasant. In the end, almost all of his hair was lost and he was begining to look the part of a regressed and chastised AB.

From there things progressed in the normal manner: diapering, feeding, coddling, playing. I always say there’s nothing like a thick, soft diaper with lots of baby powder for a spanked bottom, perhaps with a bit of petroleum jelly smoothed over the worst spanked bits. It was a really fun scene and the energy was spot on. He was obviously feeling very small and helpless while I felt the maternal contentment that stems from knowing I’m in absolute control and that the discipline is having a good effect.

When he was allowed back into adult clothes, the young man was still kept in diapers, to remind him that Mommy could strip him of his adultivity at any time, so he’d better behave if he ever wanted to grow his big boy hair back!

From Miss Penny Barber.