Kinky Sex Link

Bondage – Trojan condoms commercial (by Elizabeth Haag) CC

Even we need to think about safe sex

I was very excited about this read. I have yet to really have a personal experience with giving or receiving as fisting but I was more then happy to have a chance to educate myself. This is one of those subjects that is not exactly popular in printed literature. From my research I only found 2 other books exclusively on this topic. So I welcomed this opportunity.

The book Fisting: Care, Responsibility and Trust was written by Kim Powers and was published in Germany in 2005. It is a pretty quick read, a couple of solid hours,  with 128 pages. It’s not a huge book to carry either as it measures 8.4 x 5.8 x 0.4 inches.  There are lots of pictures, diagrams, and drawings. All of these are in black and white.  It is not a discreet book to read in public at all. Just look at the cover in the pic lol. I created a cover to bring with me on the metro but even that proved difficult as some pics/illustrations are large and, ahem,  graphic. So I hope you have the luxury of alone reading time.

The book promises to teach the reader about technique, stretching exercises, safety, positioning – for both vaginal and anal fisting – and more. Yes it does cover all that…but not to the extent I had expected. I know my perception is askew because I have so much exposure and knowledge compared to ‘normal’ people when it comes to sexuality, but I found the subject was just lightly dealt with. Of course if you are a couple who is limited in sexual exploration and are curious then the language and the information are perfect for that audience. The chapters on position where clear and well illustrated. But I really did not find the technique chapters thorough enough. I thought I would really learn techniques but instead it was 93% stuff I  already knew…as in start with one finger, then two, then three, etc. I found it a bit dumbed down and not complete enough. Also I would add a chapter about anal sex toys. They are mentioned, suggested, have a couple of pictures…but zero explanation really on how to use them and which anal toy is good for what.

Now for the very bad…
I had some massive issues with certain things written or overall implications in the book. The book is primarily aimed for the good heterosexual couple. That is fine. But the rest is piled up as gay and S/M in a read between the line just a bit derogatory way. Only during anal or gay fisting does the book mention disease, AIDS and safe sex protection…really pissed at that.  Yes you could contract and STD with vaginal fisting too. Also only in these sections is it recommended to remove rings and cut your nails. Uh hello I do not care to have my uterus scratched any more then my rectum. Finally when they say S/M they obviously have no freaking idea what they are talking about. S/M is inflicting pain…fisting would not fall into that category at all. You can fit it into BDSM, personally I would push it more towards DS…but in no way is it S/M. Shows how ignorant the author is about that lifestyle.

But some very good…
I did like the strong and constant emphasis on safety and only 2 open comfortable and consensual people should explore fisting throughout the book. Analingus is discussed at the end, not much but more then anywhere I have ever seen so brownie point for that. Another surprise was all the PC exercises described to strengthen the pelvic floor. I have read about this subject many time but never have I see so many various exercise like in this book. There are some unexpected chapters at the end of the book. Some are a bit far fetched and they are brief overviews of other sexual activities but I enjoyed the additional read. These included G-spot, Speculums, Double Fisting, Self-Fisting, FtoF Fisting and Enemas.

If you are in the kink world and consider yourself sexually savvy…skip this book and ask someone in the know. If the only thing that comes to mind is a religious person when you hear the word missionary but are curious, then this book is for you.

You can get this book at Adult Pleasurezone. And check out Adult Pleasurezone’s The 69 Days of Summer – Win a FREE vibrator event!

I never got around to using anything from the Fetish Fantasy stuff before because I owned most of what they offered and I had a feeling they did not live up to my expectations. So I was given the opportunity to try out a couple of items from them by Pinkcherry.com. Here is my first of 2 reviews from that line.

I am afraid I will start this review on a sour note. As I suspected their ‘SM’ or ‘BDSM’ stuff is totally sub par. Their naughty line is totally novelty quality and has nothing to do with the quality of proper toys used in such play. Let’s take a look at the Fetish Fantasy Series 35 Feet Japanese Silkrope – Black.

If there is one thing I know it’s rope as I am a big Shibari practitioner. The rope in this kit is 1/4 inch thick and 35 feet of, what they claim, “soft, luxurious Japanese Silk Rope”. It is not luxurious at all nor is it silk. I am guessing a cheap cotton but cannot find any place to confirm. Within the rope there were two places with frayed spots and the ends are finished with a tacky silver colored metal foil. There is no core to this rope and it feels thin. I always get a giggle at these free blindfolds included. They work but they are super cheap. Yes you could just playfully tie your partner’s wrist with this rope for fun but even there inherit risks are possible. So if you are going to tie someone….make sure you are educated a little on it and use a good rope. DO NOT under any circumstance use this rope for suspension, EVER!

This rope could be good for the very beginner who does no plan on doing anything fancy. But in my opinion save your money and go to the hardware store and get plain cotton clothesline rope. It will be cheaper and better quality. I would not recommend buying this product.

Now in no way does my review reflect poorly on Pinkcherry.com because every single online sex toy store sells this Fetish Fantasy line. Pinkcherry.com sell many wonderful toys I am very satisfied with. I just wish the Fetish Fantasy line would disappear, period.

Oh, what a joy and a delight to review this toy graciously sent to me by Tantus, one of my “fetish” toy manufactures.Their stuff is beautiful, sleek, top quality…just phenomenal sex toys.

I have been ANXIOUSLY waiting for a chance to try an aluminum dildo so when I got this in the mail I was beyond excited. Oh My God…the Alumina Motion is beyond a work of art. My heart skipped a beat when I held it the first time. It came in a lovely black box, cushioned securely in foam.The anodized purple color makes it look so ultra modern. I could not help but admire the spade shapes in various sizes as my eyes traveled up and down both ends. one end wide and one end very narrow, almost pen like. It looked heavy. I picked it up and it was not quite as heave as I expected, it is aluminum …a lighter metal after all. But what actually struck me first was its cool sleek touch. And when I say cool I mean temperature wise. But it quickly warms up with handling to your body temp which only makes this toy even more yummy.

Now the Motion is one of 4 models in the Alumina collection. There is also the Pace, Flow and Revolve. This is where you realize how brilliantly designed this series is. Each toy is actually two halves that can be unscrewed and can be screwed into the other Tantus Alumina toys. You can create a many unique combination.

It does not require a lot of lube and both ends can be inserted…the smaller end obviously ideal for anal. Since it is a non-porous toy it is very easy to clean. Just use hot water and soap. You can even put it in the dishwasher or boil it. But if you are to share in the same session condoms are always the safe way to go.

Specification
Diameter: 1 3/8″ – 1″
Length: 8.25″
Weight: 8.77 oz.
Material: Aluminum

Now as amazing as it looked I was afraid I would not like it much because after the ‘head’ part it narrows so much I figured I would not get that feeling of fullnest. I was, gladly, beyond wrong. Its shape make for a divine vaginal entry. Its like fitting a perfect tight glove but your vagina is the glove. It molds and countours itself around the curves of the Alumina Motion unlike anything I quite experienced before. And you can feel its temperature changing, slow warming to your body’s heat. And I also discovered two magical feelings with it. My favorite motion was actually the full head in but having a shallow in and out motion (pun, yep) because it hits the g-spot in a most unique way…wow. Second another wonderful feeling is to insert it about half way in and then let go of it. It won’t slip out because of the design and gravity takes over giving you a weighted feeling that is just delicious.

There is one precaution to advise with this toy…be carefull not to push it in to fast to far or you will hit the cervix in a not so nice but painfull way. You have to experiment a little bit and know how far you can push it in comfortably. Same goes for anal insertion.

Simply put the Alumina Motion is the caviar, the Bentley of dildos I have come across so far, a full

Mystress Lady Evyl

I have a really interesting review for you today of a book sent to me by the wonderful Babeland.com people.

I just finished reading ”Anal Pleasure and Health” by Jack Morin, Ph.D. It was very enlightening on a subject where, well, the sun don’t shine. Although I have not practiced anal play (in a regular serious manner) in some time it is an activity that I enjoy and fascinates me. So I thought taking on this book as a challenge would be a great way to learn more about how to do it safely and in an enjoyable manner.

Now let me warn you right away there will some “Too Much Information” in this next paragraph so if you are uncomfortable with that I would suggest skipping till you see ***

I am gonna be very honest with you all and share my personal experience and health about by asshole lol. Ok so prior to being a Mistress I have attempted no more then one handfull of times anal penetration with 3 partners. They were all mostly not pleasing and painful. Of course at the time I had no freaking clue about anal play at all. I do recieving anal play, rimming and the occasionl finger but its got to all be gentle. Move forward to being a Mistress: I have deflowered a many subs butts and penetrated accustomed anal players. That I did after some reading on safe and fun ass play so it usually went well. Now for anal health…not good. I have been suffering from fissures for a few years and its always raw and itchy. Also after reading this book I realize I have chronic anal tension, meaning my anal muscle is always tense. Obviously both not good for anal sex. If I had 1 regular partner that was truly patient and gentle I might be open to trying.

***When men ask me…and its the funniest when they are vanilla and clueless to my bdsm side…if I like anal, I alsways say I love giving. The look on their faces is precious. Usually its confusion and if they smart it leads to understanding and avoiding me, or they are into it and have a million questions. But for me I am not a fan of recieving….but a bit curious.

So back to the book. It is written by a therapist who specializes in anal health. He has led researches for decades and knows his, pardon the pun, shit! The book is well written and it is in laymens terms. But it can be a bit dry. It reads like a therapy book which just happens to reffer a lot to anal health and play. At no time will you take this book to bed with you for a masturbation session.

Had I been the editor I would have skipped a few chapters about some research analysis and sociological theories. But the progression of the self-help chapters is excellent. He dicusses the beginings of anal exploration, experimenting with butt toys, and all the way to full anal penetration. All steps are divided into chapters that include exercises to learn to relax and explore you asshole. Every chapter’s exercise pushes the previous one a little bit further…but only if you are ready. There is a lot of emphasis that you should only do the exercises if you want to for you and if you are ready. Also strongly suggested is writting in a journal. I actually thought it was an excellent idea considering his approach.

The author covers almost everything you may ever want to know about the ass. He even claims his exercises can heal medical problems if not interested in the sexual aspect. So try it to cure your hemorrhoids, fissures, constipation, etc. There are however 2 things I beleive he skipped over. He talks a lot about the complexes we have towards the clealiness of the ass but he could have gone more into details. He sort of says “get over it, its not dirty” but lacks in giving proof. Second thing I would have liked to have info on is if there is any harm in overdoing anal penetration. A gay friend of mine is very anxious of loosing control of his anus in later years.  I think its a genuine concern that should have been addressed. Although the book was updated, it could be reviewd a bit more. It was written in 1998 so it talks about AIDS a little too much. Don’t get me wrong, AIDS and HIV are huge problems to this day, but you can tell its outdated as the book was written during the crissis. Other then that he covers safe anal sex perfectly.

For the sake of the review I did read through the whole book in one shot. I do plan on going back to the exercises and exploring my anal pleasure as he describes. Where did I put my personal anal plug again? But as I read it I became very aware of my anus and did some relaxation of it a bit. I am also much more conscious of my stool cycle and my actual defecation process. Yeah I know sounds gross but but your health is directly related to how your stool comes out, both in performance and result.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about how to receive and give anal pleasure in the safest and most enjoyable way. You will learn a lot about yur body and your mind when it comes to your and your partner’s anus. The book is aimed at all genders and sexual orientations. I give it a 4 1/2 starts out of 5.

Mystress Lady Evyl

STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) are an alarming reality in our society. Many people believe they are safe when, in fact, they are not. I’ve had partners assure me they were disease free, only to find out too late their idea of “disease free” and mine were completely different. Here are some of the most common myths about STDs today:

Not many people have STDs. False. 65 million people in the USA have an STD, and 19 million more get affected every year. That’s 36 Americans per minute. Put another way, 1 in 5 Americans has an STD.

 If I had an STD, I’d know. False. Many STDs show no symptoms whatsoever. Genital herpes, which affects 1 in 4 adult Americans and is the most common STD, goes undiagnosed in 80% of the people who carry it. 75% of women and 50% of men with chlamydia have no symptoms; 60-80% of females with gonorreah have no symptoms. With diseases such as trichomoniasis, human papillomavirus (HPV), and HIV/AIDS, people can be infected for years and transfer the disease without having any symptoms whatsoever. Genital herpes, HPV, and Hepatitis B are all STDs that can go undetected because there may be no symptoms, only mild and undetected symptoms, or sores that are located inside the vagina, penis, or anus and are never noticed by the carrier.

I’ve had my yearly checkup, donated blood, or had bloodwork done by the Army. If I had an STD, they would have notified me. False. Yearly exams at a doctor’s office or gynecologist will not test you for STDs unless you specifically ask for it, even if you have bloodwork done. You must specifically ask for many STD tests. Likewise, giving blood to a charitable organization such as the Red Cross does not ensure your blood will be checked for STDs. Due to money and time constraints, these organizations will often only scan blood for HIV and a few other “major” STDs; unless you have one of them, you will not be informed of your infection. Another common myth is that the U.S. Army annually tests its soldiers for all STDs. In fact, the yearly blood tests done by the Army only test for HIV unless the soldier specifically asks for other tests to be run.

I’m a virgin, so I can’t have an STD. False. The current definition of “virgin” often refers to a vaginal virgin. However, sexually transmitted diseases can be contracted through oral and anal sex just as easily as through vaginal. For example, genital and oral herpes can both be transmitted through oral sex. HPV and genital warts can be transmitted through fingers or skin-to-skin contact (i.e. fingering, hand jobs, cuddling with your legs entwined, etc.). Okay,

 I mean I’m a real virgin–I haven’t done anything sexual. I can’t have an STD, right? False. Many diseases can be transfered through salivia and kissing, including herpes. Hepatitis B has been transmitted through sharing a razor with an infected person, unsterilized tattoo needles, kissing, and coming into contact with an infected person’s saliva. Trichonimiasis can actually be transmitted through any damp object, such as a towel, toilet seat, or wet clothing. Even if I get an STD, they are all treatable. False. While everyone knows HIV isn’t curable, what is less known is that none of the viral STDs can be cured. This includes HPV, genital herpes, some strains of Hepatitis B, and HIV/AIDS.

I use condoms every time I have sex, so I don’t have an STD. False. Condoms are meant to stop sperm, not diseases. A virus or bacteria is much smaller than sperm cells and can pass through a condom; condoms are not an effective barrier against sexually transmitted diseases. However, some protection is better than none, so you should always engage in protected sex.

 I’ve only had one partner, so I don’t have an STD. False. First, many people mean “one vaginal partner” or “one anal partner” when they say this, and do not take into account the many people they have kissed, shared food and drink with, shared razors, clothes, or towels with, sat on the toilet after, had oral sex with, or received manual sex from. Likewise, many people completely fail to take into account the partners of their partner, and those people’s partners, and those people’s partners, and so on. I have an STD, but I can’t transmit it to my partner when I’m not having an “outbreak.” While your infection is more transferable during an outbreak, it is always transferable, even years after your last outbreak. You should still inform potential partners and use protection.

STDs can’t be transmitted through fingering or jacking off. False. While it is easier to get an STD through oral, anal, or vaginal sex than through manual sex, it is still possible. For example, HPV (the cancer-causing and wart-causing virus) can be transferred through the fingers.

Cold sores aren’t an STD. False. Cold sores are another name for oral herpes, which is an STD. Oral herpes can also be transferred through kissing, sharing chapstick or lipstick, oral sex, or touching the cold sores. (Cold sores are, however, different from canker sores, which are not an STD.)

Even if I get an STD, it won’t affect my life. Sometimes this is true–you get diagnosed, receive treatment, and move on. Many bacterial, and some fungal and parasitical, infections can be treated and cured. Others will affect your life–and your partner’s life–forever. For example, chlamydia can scar the fallopian tubes, resulting in infertility. It can also contribute to cervical cancer. Gonorrhea, when left untreated, can result in infection to the heart, nervous system, muscles, and joints, as well as contribute to miscarriage in pregnant women. Hepatitis B and herpes can infect and kill the infants of infected mothers during birth, and some adults with Hepatitis B and C can contract liver disease and liver cancer, resulting in death. Genital herpes can also cause premature delivery in pregnant mothers. HPV is the primary cause of cervical cancer, and more than a third of women who develop this cancer will die from it. HPV can also cause penile, oral, anal, and vulvar cancer, as well as develop fatal warts in the throats of infected infants. Syphilis, when left untreated, can cause paralysis, blindness, and numbness for adults, as well as result in stillborn or premature delivery for infants. HIV causes an immune system deficiency that results in fatal illnesses, cancers, and diseases. In addition to the danger of illness and death, plus the many risks to unborn fetuses, many of these STDs also result in painful urination, genital inflammation, and pain or burning during intercourse. For your safety, the safety of your partners, and the health of your future children, please get tested regularly. Resources: Sexually Transmitted Diseases Info Sheet Self-Care Guide to STDs and HIV STD Fact Sheet STD Information Yahoo Answers

My father had a very large, musty, cardboard box full of porn.

The box lived in the basement of our small ranch-style house. It rested atop a very tall metal shelf-structure, in a dark corner of his workshop – a room with cobwebs and sawdust and any number of on-the-go projects stacked on the benches.

It was rare that I entered that room as a child. I seldom had use for a screwdriver or hammer let alone a band saw or a lathe or a drill press. I certainly had no reason to climb on top of the leather step stool and wobble on my tiptoes when all of the other boxes contained Christmas ornaments and empty mason jars.

I can’t remember how I found it. How did I stumble across this treasure trove of delight?

One day, though, it was a part of my life. My new hobby was flipping through the pages of each magazine, digging to the bottom of the box for new material, and being careful to never leave a fingerprint on a cover and never, ever wrinkle a page.

Vividly, I remember:  Naked ladies. The occasional naked man (usually as important as a throw pillow in a home decor magazine spread). Leather. Lace. Enormous breasts and tiny boobies.  Shaved. Natural. Thin. Voluptuous.

Arriving home from school as an occasional latchkey kid, I’d barely drop my backpack on the floor before running downstairs, climbing up, and balancing a magazine on the edge of the shelf while working my hand inside the front of my jeans.

I didn’t dare take any of the magazines down – what if someone came home? What if I forgot to put things back properly?

It was so incredibly scandalous to me, that box. No one had ever told me that such magazines existed.

I don’t know where the collection originated or, later when it disappeared, where it went. I was the one who picked up the mail at the end of our driveway and I know they didn’t make their way into our home by that route. Did someone give them to him? Did he buy them on his way home from work?

My Dad has been dead for a long while now, and we never discussed that box of goodness.

And now I’m the adult in the house. Married, happily, with a house full of children who are precocious and funny and curious about the world around them.

We’ve had “The Talk” and explained about birth control and the names for the various body parts.They know about consent and about boundaries and limits and being safe.

But I feel like they’re missing a big part of a healthy childhood: hidden porn.

It’s the curse of the Internet Age – ready, easy, all-acess-available porn. Videos and pictures and YouPorn and every single kink under the sun presented in glorious, bookmark’able colour.

And it’s all hidden behind internet filters and NetNannies.

The print magazines are going out of business or switching to online-only.

So we took matters into our own hands, my husband and I, and we made our way to the local used bookstore. It sells porn – the vintage kind – in cellowrapped packages dating back to the ’60s.

We debated for a bit and then, not wanting to influence our kids’ sexual proclivities (nor scare them to death) we picked up a fine selection of  mostly “vanilla porn”, paid the small fees, and brought them home. In the quiet of the night, we leafed through them, admiring the fluffy pubes and horrible makeup styles, and agreed that it was all about as risque as what’s available on cable TV.

It’s not our style of porn – we lean toward the kink, the BDSM, the whips-n-chains. But that’s an adult choice and the kids will find their own leanings as they mature and experiment in life.

When the kids start school next week, we’re hiding those magazines in the crawl spaces that are accessible only from the kids’ bedrooms. And we’ll wait for them to explore and discover them. We’ll deny knowing how they got there and claim the previous owners of the house must have left them behind.

That’s right. I’m the mother who bought her kids porn.

And I’ll never admit it to anyone but you.