Kinky Sex Link

What, no bondage dungeon?

Now that I have your attention…

I don’t own my dream house yet but when I do I now know to avoid these eight most overrated home projects. In order they are 1. whirlpool bath, 2. room additions, 3. “Versailles” kitchens, 4. marble counters (or other porous surfaces), 5. deck off the master bedroom, 6. elaborate home theatres, 7. hot tub, and 8. overly complicated home automation. One missing that I’d love to have is my own private library, preferably in the tower of a Victorian house.

My main question is, what about the bondage dungeon? I ask this question at the Midnight Seductions blog and I talk about what kinky toys I’d like in my own private bordello. What toys do you want? What do you already own? Head over, read, and comment.

http://midnightseductionsauthors.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-no-bondage-dungeon.html

My new article about slut shaming and young, single straight women who want to enjoy their sexuality is up at On The Issues, the premiere feminist magazine. Here’s an excerpt:

American society is not kind to sexually active, single, straight women, especially when virginity is so popular among political talking heads. The purity movement and “hooking up” culture are at loggerheads, creating a great deal of confusion.

Chances are, if you’re a woman who enjoys playing the field, you’ve been called a slut, whore, tramp, and a host of other slurs. There is no equivalent set of words for guys who play the field, and the words that describe them are positive, something to aspire to: Lothario, player, stud, Casanova. “Slut” is designed to humiliate and negatively judge a sexually active woman simply because she has a vagina.

But what if a young woman wants to explore her sexuality? What if she does not want to wait for marriage or isn’t really all that interested in marriage to begin with?

To read the rest, go to On The Issues:

http://www.ontheissuesmagazine.com/2010summer/2010summer_Black.php

Lizzie

I was very excited about this read. I have yet to really have a personal experience with giving or receiving as fisting but I was more then happy to have a chance to educate myself. This is one of those subjects that is not exactly popular in printed literature. From my research I only found 2 other books exclusively on this topic. So I welcomed this opportunity.

The book Fisting: Care, Responsibility and Trust was written by Kim Powers and was published in Germany in 2005. It is a pretty quick read, a couple of solid hours,  with 128 pages. It’s not a huge book to carry either as it measures 8.4 x 5.8 x 0.4 inches.  There are lots of pictures, diagrams, and drawings. All of these are in black and white.  It is not a discreet book to read in public at all. Just look at the cover in the pic lol. I created a cover to bring with me on the metro but even that proved difficult as some pics/illustrations are large and, ahem,  graphic. So I hope you have the luxury of alone reading time.

The book promises to teach the reader about technique, stretching exercises, safety, positioning – for both vaginal and anal fisting – and more. Yes it does cover all that…but not to the extent I had expected. I know my perception is askew because I have so much exposure and knowledge compared to ‘normal’ people when it comes to sexuality, but I found the subject was just lightly dealt with. Of course if you are a couple who is limited in sexual exploration and are curious then the language and the information are perfect for that audience. The chapters on position where clear and well illustrated. But I really did not find the technique chapters thorough enough. I thought I would really learn techniques but instead it was 93% stuff I  already knew…as in start with one finger, then two, then three, etc. I found it a bit dumbed down and not complete enough. Also I would add a chapter about anal sex toys. They are mentioned, suggested, have a couple of pictures…but zero explanation really on how to use them and which anal toy is good for what.

Now for the very bad…
I had some massive issues with certain things written or overall implications in the book. The book is primarily aimed for the good heterosexual couple. That is fine. But the rest is piled up as gay and S/M in a read between the line just a bit derogatory way. Only during anal or gay fisting does the book mention disease, AIDS and safe sex protection…really pissed at that.  Yes you could contract and STD with vaginal fisting too. Also only in these sections is it recommended to remove rings and cut your nails. Uh hello I do not care to have my uterus scratched any more then my rectum. Finally when they say S/M they obviously have no freaking idea what they are talking about. S/M is inflicting pain…fisting would not fall into that category at all. You can fit it into BDSM, personally I would push it more towards DS…but in no way is it S/M. Shows how ignorant the author is about that lifestyle.

But some very good…
I did like the strong and constant emphasis on safety and only 2 open comfortable and consensual people should explore fisting throughout the book. Analingus is discussed at the end, not much but more then anywhere I have ever seen so brownie point for that. Another surprise was all the PC exercises described to strengthen the pelvic floor. I have read about this subject many time but never have I see so many various exercise like in this book. There are some unexpected chapters at the end of the book. Some are a bit far fetched and they are brief overviews of other sexual activities but I enjoyed the additional read. These included G-spot, Speculums, Double Fisting, Self-Fisting, FtoF Fisting and Enemas.

If you are in the kink world and consider yourself sexually savvy…skip this book and ask someone in the know. If the only thing that comes to mind is a religious person when you hear the word missionary but are curious, then this book is for you.

You can get this book at Adult Pleasurezone. And check out Adult Pleasurezone’s The 69 Days of Summer – Win a FREE vibrator event!

While I love writing about sex toys, my true love is erotic fiction. I will appear several times on Beth Wylde’s Yahoo Group this month talking about GLBT issues and promoting my books, in particular “Feral Heat” (m/m/f, m/m), “Lost In Her Mouth” (f/f), “Neighbors” (f/f), and my upcoming June 11, 2010 release “The Fountain Of Youth” (m/m).

Here’s the link to Beth’s Yahoo group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bethwylde

My release party for “The Fountain Of Youth” will be on Beth’s group on June 24, 2010 from noon until I drop. I will host a contest and a lucky winner will get a FREE copy of “The Fountain Of Youth”!

Look for more contests during the month.

Here are dates. Mark your calendars!

June 07 – GLBTQ open discussion
June 11 – Release Date – “The Fountain Of Youth”.
June 14 – Gay male fiction day – win a free copy of “Feral Heat”!
June 15 – Bi writer’s day
June 21 – F/F day – contests! Win free copy of “Neighbors” and “Lost In Her Mouth”.
June 24 – My chat day with contest! Win a copy of “The Fountain Of Youth”
June 28 – GLBTQ BDSM day

I’m looking forward to talking to all of those who love GLBTQ fiction.

So actor/rabblerouser Nicholas Cage will only eat animals that have, in his opinion, “dignified” sex. He won’t eat pork because he doesn’t like the way pigs do The Nasty. Instead, he munches on chicken and fish. I don’t know whether he’s serious or if he’s pulling reporter’s legs but I thought it would be fun to write about animals sex lives anyway.

I can’t speak for chickens, but ever see how fish get it on? The female lays her eggs and then the male shoots his sperm into the water, fertilizing the eggs. So when it’s spawning season water is chock full of clouds of sperm. I suppose that could be considered dignified.

I bet Nick Cage won’t eat a preying mantis. Females eat males after they copulate but only if they are hungry. We had preying mantids in our leafy canopy at our old house in Maryland. I remember the female and the smaller male. One day, I noticed that the male was missing his head! Holy shit, they must have copulated and she ate him! It was the creepiest thing to see since the male wasn’t dead yet. It wandered around the canopy missing its head. Took the sucker five days to die. I hope I never see a preying mantis ever again.

I bet Nick Cage won’t eat dog, considering that there is now a sex toy for dogs called Hotdoll. The picture below doesn’t look particularly dignified to me.

Here are some strange animal sex habits. I doubt any of these critters will end up on Nick Cage’s dinner plate.

Honey bees: The male’s genitals pop off and get caught inside the Queen when mating. The snapped off penis acts as a plug, preventing other males from copulating with Her Highness. I guess this means Nick Cage won’t put honey in his tea, unless he finds losing the Crown Jewels to be dignified.

Bonobos: Bonobos use sex for EVERYTHING! They “use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange “penis fencing” ritual!”

Red-Sided Garter Snake: One female emerges from hibernation. She releases a pheromone that drives male red-sided garter snakes into an erotic frenzy. Then… ORGY!!! Bonus points – male red-sided garter snakes have two penises. I hear snake tastes like chicken so maybe eating snake isn’t much of a stretch for Nick Cage.

Dolphins: Male dolphins have retractable penises. And they’re prehensile. They even swivel! I hope Nick Cage eats dolphin-safe tuna.

Anyway, there are many more bizarre examples of animal sex at that link so head on over and get an education. Some of these animals do things that sound like something you see in a science fiction movie.

My readers know that I write more than erotica and erotic romance. I’m also a sex writer. In fact, I think I do more sex writing than erotic romance writing. I just started writing for Good Vibrations Magazine, published by the sex toys company Good Vibrations, so I invite you to come check out my articles. Want to read fun articles about sex? Check out Good Vibes Mag!

Here’s the link to my Good Vibrations page, including links and excerpts from all my articles:

http://magazine.goodvibes.com/author/elizabeth-black/

My First Post – Talking ‘Bout Sex, Money, And Raising A Son

My son, who will go by the name The Royal Spawn since my blog is called The Countess, is in college now. He’s had a long-suffering attitude about my sex writing, as in he knows about it but I don’t go into detail because he says it’s TMI. (If you don’t know what TMI stands for, Google it.) When he last came up to Massachusetts from college in Maryland to visit for winter break, I showed him my first book in print form and I was very excited about it. So was he and he was very happy for me, but he backed off and said “but it has naughty words in it”. He wouldn’t touch my book with a ten foot pole.

Lack Of Integrity In Integrity Balls

Purity balls are all the rage. Girls pledged to their fathers that their hymens would remain intact until they married some guy who wasn’t under nearly the same pressure to remain “pure” as they were. As I have previously noted, teens who made abstinence pledges are almost as likely to be infected with a sexually transmitted disease as those who never made the pledge. So much for the effectiveness of purity balls and abstinence pledges.

Don’t forget to read my articles at Sexis Magazine and Alternet.

Elizabeth Black – Alternet
http://www.alternet.org/authors/11032/

Read my article about getting over the G-spot. Here’s the link and a blurb:

Why We Really Need To Get Over The G-Spot
http://tinyurl.com/ykkm6um

Once again, sex experts are arguing over women’s sexuality, and as usual they ignore what women actually say about their sexual arousal and orgasms. This time, English and French sex experts are grousing over whether or not women have the fabled G-spot. The English say no and the French say yes, prompting a commenter on the blog Pandagon to describe the peek-a-boo games the G-spot plays with sex researchers as Schrödinger’s G-spot: “It both exists and doesn’t exist at the same time and the act of observing it changes it.”

Elizabeth Black – Sex Is
http://www.edenfantasys.com/contributors/elizabeth-black/

My latest article is about figging, which I enjoyed very much.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/figging-0102101/

Today is May 4th, also known as Star Wars Day so “May The 4th Be With You”. Bah dah bum!

Star Wars Day would not be complete without some porn, so visit this site full of Star Wars Porn, including this amusing picture:

The Force is strong in that one.

[This post originally appeared on my blog.]

So ladies, are you going to dress immodestly today and start a massive, global earthquake? In case you don’t know, today is the day that women worldwide are urged to bare their boobs, their ankles, and anything else that suits them to start a Boobquake. [For more info on Boobquake, go to Blag Hag.]

The whole business started as a result of Iran’s acting Friday prayer leader, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, stating the following:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.”

Technically, it’s really men being lured into adultery by hot women that supposedly increases earthquake activity, so if you like to show ‘em off and seduce married men, go for it today. When I was in college I had several affairs with married men and I’m not aware of any earthquakes occurring in my college town, so Sedighi is flat out wrong. However, in 1981 at the beginning of one affair there were two earthquakes: Dawu (China – a 6.8) and Irian Jaya (Indonesia, 6.8). In 1982 when I was actively involved with two married men there was a magnitude 6.0 earthquake in North Yeman. According to Wikipedia, “It was the first instrumentally recorded earthquake in the Dhamar region.[2] As many as 2,800 people were killed and 1,500 injured.” Wow, in 1983 at the end of my most intense affair there were three earthquakes: Borah Peak (Idaho, 6.9), Coalinga (California, 6.5), and Kopaonik (Serbia, 5.3).

My infidelity reached across the U. S. and across the globe! I am woman! I have boobs! I am powerful!

So, ladies, bare your breasts and dress otherwise immodestly today, lure a married man into your trap, and let’s start some tremors. I want to see some high scale Richter action by midnight tonight. I’m not wearing any underwear and I’m going to walk around the apartment naked. Let the fun begin! Remember that according to throwbacks like Sedighi, married men are not responsible for their own behavior. It’s those loose whores showing off their ankles and long sexy necks that lure those poor dudes into cheating on their long-suffering wives.

[This post first appeared on my blog, The Countess.]

Under the “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” category is a study that found that work hours in excess of seventy per week wreck havok on your sex life and your marriage. Executives tend to work those kinds of hours, so they should take heed.

Apparently, these long working hours in executive positions is called “the extreme job“. I certainly would not like to work like that. What kind of life would that be?

People with extreme jobs don’t hate their jobs. In fact, the opposite is the case. They love their jobs. They brag about their earnings, their long hours, their work, and all the travel they have to do. The problem is that their families are suffering. Their sexual relationship with their spouses is in the toilet.

Harvard Business Review published the study. Those who work in extreme jobs consider a ten-hour work day a part-time job. What the hell kind of nonsense is that? It’s not new, though. Work hours in general are longer now than they were decades ago. The forty hour work week is getting to be a thing of the past. Plus, there is little job security. I remember that DuPont has laid off a bunch of workers a couple of years ago – just before Christmas. What a great present. I also suspect that those who work in extreme jobs aren’t pulling in the kinds of benefits that jobholders have had in decades past. They don’t take vacations or days off. They even go to work on days that they normally have off. These kinds of jobs also involve travel and “evening entertainment”, which was not identified. As far as I know, that could be anything from mandatory meetings at restaurants to after-work seminars and even meetings in strip clubs, which suck if you’re a woman surrounded by a gaggle of horny guys and you’re trying to discuss the latest sales figures. If anyone reading this post can identify what is meant by “evening entertainment”, please post in comments.

The article I link to described problems men and women in extreme jobs have, saying that “nearly half of men and women who took part in the international research project said their jobs “interfere with having a strong relationship with my spouse/partner.” So much time is spent on the job that relationships with spouses and children suffer. This includes the sexual relationship. These extreme job workers are too tired for sex. That’s not a good thing.

I’d rather see people scale back their working hours and enjoy their lives, but many jobs these days require longer hours and less time with families. I’ve always known that the workplace had never been family-friendly, but it seems to be getting worse. I’m glad I make my own work hours and control how I spend my time.

Anyone reading in an extreme job, or just have ridiculous working hours? Do you enjoy your job? How is your family life faring? Care to discuss the issue in comments?