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Aug 30
This month’s book review is about a different form of relationship structure than the traditional D/s that you read about on practically every site and book you browse. Domestic Discipline
by Jules Markham is about creating harmony in your relationship through the use of consensual discipline. The basic form of discipline preferred by Domestic Discipline (DD) practitioners is spanking but has also been known to use enemas as part of the program.
In the first few chapters you will get an introduction to DD as well as what makes it different from BDSM, begin to learn about emotional cycles and what the psychological process of DD does to a relationship when used correctly. I really enjoyed learning how our emotional cycles generate the positive and negative behaviors that we see in each other and ourselves. I also thought that DD has a good premise for how spanking and discipline helps manage the emotional cycle and promotes longer positive behaviors in the cycle and less negative ones.
With every Domestic Discipline relationship there is consensual spanking for two reasons. There is punishment spanking and therapeutic spanking. The former is for correcting negative behavior and infractions or rule breaking. Therapeutic spanking can help the passive partner to move past a negative side of their emotional cycle faster and can help with working through emotions of any type.
The middle of the book covers spanking and non-spanking punishment. It talks about discipline being broken down into 4 phases and depending on the severity of the behavior will carry a 1,2, 3 or 4 phase punishment. In between each phase is a corner time imposed to rest the skin to keep it sensitive and not go numb (many submissives may know what leatherbutt is… the breaks in punishment help prevent that) but also for the passive partner to reflect on (Want to read more...)
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Aug 11
Posted by persephone on Wednesday Aug 11, 2010 Under Love, spanking
we were watching "the L word," our new favorite thing to do before bed, after a really wonderful evening together. the thesis defense was over, we had champagne to celebrate, and luke brought home a lobster for us to eat. i played the piano and sang him love songs from the 1930's, and we made a little bit more progress on turning our living room into an area where living can actually happen.
i don't know why i got cranky-- it may have been the champagne. but i got really agitated when i saw luke playing with his iphone during the show. there were subtleties happening that he wasn't reacting to the way he usually would. he wasn't with me-- his mind was elsewhere. so i started grilling him-- was he bored? did he want to stop watching the show for now and go to bed? if the answer was no-- which he said it was-- then he needed to put down his iphone! put it down! seriously, put it away!
luke turned and stared at me. "why are you being so aggressive with me tonight? i don't like that at all."
it was true that i had come on a little strong over something else earlier in the evening, and he had grabbed me and given my bottom a few smacks in response. but now he looked more perturbed. i was resistant-- "you weren't paying attention! i want to watch the show together."
"i was watching. there's no reason for you to be so aggressive with me." and he paused the show and stood up to walk around to my side of the bed. it gave me a moment to think about my hostility-- and realize that, yeah, it was out of line. i saw what he was
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Aug 09
Posted by persephone on Monday Aug 9, 2010 Under spanking
hello out there. boy, i feel like a schmuck constantly starting my posts with a lame greeting... but that's all i have for you! it's definitely time to check in, though i don't really have the grounding to turn any subtly-sexy interaction into an engaging blog post. all i can do is give you another little play-by-play.
luke and i are getting slammed lately. a surprise set of circumstances meant that we suddenly had to get everything out of his old apartment-- we'd been planning to sub-let it, but that plan was dropped-- and our living room became filled to capacity with all the extra stuff that we weren't ready for yet. (there is, literally, a path down the middle of it that is just wide enough to walk through.) plus it was a ton of work clearing out the old place. then a beautiful bookshelf that we had fell off the wall where we'd mounted it, not helping us with our storage space problem (or our diminishing spirits). the dog got sick and had to be taken for an expensive vet visit. an antique desk that luke ordered arrived here broken, and it has to sit in our living room too, until a UPS inspector can come and look at it and decide whether they'll pay the insurance on it. meanwhile, luke's defense is tomorrow and we leave for our trip just a few days after that.
to everyone who has been wondering, my health is much better. i haven't spent a day in bed since before my last blog post. i'm still having a lot of gastrointestinal disturbance, which is extremely frustrating, but it's not the same as the whole problem i had in july. there are two somewhat-bright sides to the stomach problem too. one is that
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Jul 17
Last evening we were sitting in our living room watching TV. Friday evening without kids screams for a little nastiness and both of us were in the right mood. Glasses with red wine on the table and talk about whether or not we should drive to our local BDSM club later in the evening.
She has her period and normally it makes her in a mood for just relaxing in the sofa and watching TV. This evening was different and I could feel that she wanted to be spanked. I often read about dominants that do not want to fulfill the needs of their submissive woman but only see it as their goal to follow their own desires. For me that is D/s without balance.
When ever my glass was empty she asked if she should fill it. This is not a rule in our house nor a ritual but simply her gesture to show me her passion for me and her love. For that I love her.
I decide to give her a barehanded spanking and tell her to kneel down on the floor with her upper part of the body laying on the sofa. I lift up her skirt and start to caress her buttocks and warming up with my hand. Her skin feels so soft and the look of her beautiful ass arouses me. My spanking becomes harder and harder, shifting from soft caressing to hard spanking and back to soft caressing again. The scene might look stupid to some, but to us this is love. Her breath changes and she starts to moans. The pain takes her on a journey and I travel with her. I remember thinking about turning off the TV before we started the scene but the sound from the speakers never disturbed (Want to read more...)
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Jun 21
Posted by persephone on Monday Jun 21, 2010 Under spanking
well, here it is. it's the monday after luke moved in. and i'm writing and posting in real time, something that i don't usually like to do because it fits better into my schedule to write and edit gradually. but whatever. it's time to post, and so i must write.
oddly enough, i think when we got to the actual move-in point luke was feeling more excited and less scared than i was. i was feeling the crushing weight of my memories from the two other times that i've made this step with boyfriends. those two past relationships were such bad moves, and remembering them made me feel so scared. i know luke was feeling scared too, but he noted that i was quiet, off somewhere in my head.
the way to combat the jitters was to stay busy. we had a crazy day of rushing around the city, picking up new furniture that we had purchased in rented pick-up trucks, and carting luke's favorite possessions to their new home. our weekend was a whirlwind of arrangements.
part of my quietness was worrying whether luke would feel okay once we really did it. he has been the more reluctant in this whole process, and i was worried that he might end up unhappy once we were really here, moved in together. but i knew i could let go of that fear when, in our first moment of relaxation in our space, he suddenly called out, "baby, i'm horny," and insisted that i strip. and he fucked me and teased me and flipped me this way and that with more energy and indulgent time spent than he's dedicated to fucking in quite some time. it was like a christening of our new cohabiting life.
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Jun 14
Posted by persephone on Monday Jun 14, 2010 Under spanking
it was a beautiful day, and luke and i were out of the city. we were hiking, climbing over rocks along waterfalls, and watching my dog run eagerly ahead of us, jumping into the bubbly creek water whenever she thought she had enough time to do so and not get left behind. we'd been hiking for an hour or so when we hit the end of the property line of the state park. signs bid us to turn back, but instead we forded the river, so we wouldn't have to retrace our steps. but when we got to the other side, we found no hiking trail like we thought we would. and then we disagreed about which direction we should choose next.
i have a serious question for my readers. would a submissive person go whatever way her dominant said, no matter if she had other opinions? because that's not what i did-- i argued with him over it. for a while. we went back and forth... he wanted to go downstream, i wanted to go upstream. he said that the worst that could happen was we'd end up on a local road and walk back to the parking lot; i thought that would be horrible. and then eventually he said, "fine, we'll go your way. we'll go your way and see what happens. lead on."
but then i retracted. i wasn't sure, after all. i knew the park better than he did, but i'd never hiked this far in. and hearing his arguments against my position had made me feel less sure about it. "no..." i began, "i don't know what way to go. i'm not sure if it's right."
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Jun 09
Today up on the review stand is the Singapore Stinger III paddle. Now the first reaction you will have when you get this paddle will be: this is it? I was a bit skeptical taking it out of the plastic bag it was delivered in. This paddle is beyond light and very thin. I did however like the fact that it is made out of bamboo so there is a lovely vertical grain to it. The surface is very smooth yet not varnished. The paddle is 11 inches in length and at it’s widest point it is 4 inches across. There is also a wrist cord is attached to the handle.
Taking the handle into my palm I was satisfied by the comfortable grip. This is not always the case with handles yet it is so important to hold this tool well to use it well. As far as play it cannot be even compared with your usual large heavy frat paddle. It does not even compare to my custom made wooden paddle which can pack quite a wack. But one advantage to its lightness is one can use it for longer periods of time without getting tired.
I was to curious about bamboo and its properties so I looked it up. How will this paddle resist with time? What my research taught me was that bamboo is a considerably strong wood because each strand of the grain is perfectly straight and there are no branches so there are no knots. Yes there are knuckles every few feet but apparently do not significantly weaken the structure of the wood. Bamboo contracts and expands a lot less than wood.
So how does this very light yet strong paddle fell? I would qualify it it as the perfect beginner paddle or for (Want to read more...)
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Mar 26
Posted by persephone on Friday Mar 26, 2010 Under spanking
a meeting with a second girl-date, the lovely
meta, led luke and i to another new experience in the world of kink. there have been so many developments and unusual opportunities lately, between our kink-exposure and my lesbian explorations. we're both feeling excited, i think, and proud of our adventurous sharing, and we're learning along the way what we like and what we don't like.
we both like meta, as she is sweet and smart and fun to be around. she expressed some interest after
my post about searching for a girl to romp with, and luke was excited to meet her because he likes smart people. (meta (being a law student) is obviously pretty smart.) we threw emails back and forth until eventually our schedules allowed for the three of us-- meta, luke, and i-- to meet for dinner one saturday night. i'd already met her twice in the past, though we hadn't seen each other in over a year.
the day before our meeting, meta sent me an email inviting luke and i to join her for a trip to the local bdsm club after dinner. she'd read about
our exposure to 'the scene' at axe's party and realized that we might just be up for some more adventure.
i remember forwarding her email to luke without even putting a comment on it. i'd been to this club once before and, while my time there was an interesting (and overall positive) experience, i wasn't particularly looking to go back. i didn't think that luke would be interested at all, though i'd wanted him to know that the invitation had been extended. i was shocked when i received a reply email from him saying "sounds fun! let's go!"
so it was decided. we were going.
