Kinky Sex Link

This year’s Montreal Fetish Weekend will be extra exciting as I will be presenting my Cell Popping Workshop. This is truly a unique opportunity for you to learn about a rare form of FIRE PLAY/BRANDING. There are but a handful of qualified people who offer this type of a workshop in the entire world. A special treat: I will create a lovely design on the charming Miss Susan from Toronto. It is a NOT-TO-BE-MISSED event! It is but one of many really fabulous workshops offered this year, even a few exclusively French ones. Just see the current tantalizing list below (may be modified so check the Montreal Fetish Weekend website.)

Workshops will take place Saturday & Sunday Sept 4-5th at the Hotel des Gouverneurs, 1415 St. Hubert Street, in the Ballroom. There are 3 ways to attend workshops:- VIP holders have free access, a $40 per day pass or a $60 weekend pass.

Exclusive LadyEvyl.com offer

SAVE & SUPPORT the ALCC!

Purchase the 60$ 2-DAY WORKSHOP PASS and save 20$ over the regular price at the door purchase price. 25% of all purchases will go to the ALCC, Montreal’s Alternative Lifestyle Community Center.

- Send me an email if you wish to pay by cash, before or at the event , or order via Paypal below

En français

Le Montreal Fetish Weekend cette année sera très excitant car je vais présenter mon atelier de Cell Popping. C’est vraiment une occasion unique pour apprendre une forme rare de JEUX DE FEU/BRANDING. Il existe qu’une poignée de gens qualifiés qui offrent ce type d’atelier dans le monde entier. Une présentation spécials: je vais créer un joli design sur la charmante Miss Susan de Toronto. Il s’agit d’un événement À-NE-PAS-MANQUER! Ceci n’est qu’un des nombreux fabuleux ateliers offerts cette année, certains exclusivement en français. Il ne suffit que de voir l’alléchante liste actuelle ci-dessous (peut être modifié donc vérifier le site Montreal Fetish Weekend.

Les atelier auront lieu Samedi & Dimanche les 4 et 5 Sept à L’Hotel des Gouverneurs, 1415 St. Hubert, dans la Salle de Bal. Il y a 3 façons pour participer aux ateliers: passe VIP (c’est inlcus), la passe 1 jour à $40 ou la passe weekend à $60.

Offre Exclusive sur LadyEvyl.com

ÉCONOMISEZ & ENCOURAGEZ le CCVA!

Achetez la PASSE ATELIER 2-JOURS au coût de 60$ et économisez 20$ sur le coût d’amission à la porte. 25% de ce montant sera remis au CCVA, le Centre Communautaire pour les Styles de Vie Alternatifs de Montréal.

- Envoyez moi un courriel si vous désirez payer comptant, avant ou sur place le jour même, ou commander via Paypal ci-haut

Visit the website of the

MFW WORKSHOPS IN ENGLISH

CELL POPPING – Mystress Lady Evyl

Come learn about the newest unusual branding technique called Cell Popping. This type of branding consists of tiny, round burns on the skin. Hundreds or thousands of these little marks are combined to create a pointillist design.

EROTIC FIREPLAY BASICS – Pierre Black

What you need to know to safely set you partner on fire quite literally! The how, what, where, and why of erotic heat and fire with a special accent on at-home safety and pleasure dynamics for truly hot play!

EXPLORING CONSEQUENCES – Rigger Jay

Come examine mental and physical games of cause and effect, from simple tasks with intriguing rewards/punishments to kinky Rube Goldberg machines.

WAX PLAY – ALL LEVELS – Contessa Alura

This is a hands-on workshop that will cover various aspects for using hot wax as a form of excitement and eroticism for sensual and intense stimulation. All materials provided.

INTRODUCTION TO SUBMISSION WRESTLING – Mr O.

This introductory level session shows the application of submission wrestling for play. The focus is on techniques that are easy to learn and apply, allowing both players to enjoy their scene safely.

FETISH MODELING – Madria

Be it for pleasure of for profesional purposes, this is an interactive workshop that gives women an insight into sensual posing. Come dresed-up in your favorite fetish wear and lets have fun. Starting with a few tips and a brief photo slide show, ladies are then invited step in front of the camera and test their newfound knowledge. Photos will be emailed following the event.

ALTERNATIVE FITNESS – Maiko Starr

A short introduction to pole dancing with basics spin on the pole and choreography.

MASTER / submissive PROTOCOL – Sir Paul

A workshop set to demistify Master/slave roleplay. How to find the proper play partner and insure a lasting, secure and stable play relationship. How to avoid misunderstandings between players.

SPANKING 101 – Master Kindred

Finding the Pleasures & Pain with spanking and percussion play. This work shop is to provide a different vantage on one of the most basic of play tools, the “hands”. Most everyone has them, but not everyone knows all the deviant & fun ways in which you can use them for play.

ELECTRICAL PLAY – Dunter

Discover the world of electrical play. Learn about the functionality and security aspect of electrical toys. Demonstration and exploration of the known electrical devices such as: tens unit, violet wand, tazer, zapper , fuck machine and electrical collar.

PLEASURE TRAINING – Ze’ev

Imagine, if you will… having a completely mind bending, time distorting, explosive orgasm, sending echoes through each and every part of your body and your mind multiple times, again and again, making you tingly everywhere and unsure whether it’s been a minute, an hour or even a day since that first sensation which sent you into a whirlpool of being so consumed with pleasure, ecstasy and joy, that everything else just ceased to exist.

MFW ATELIER EN FRANÇAIS

HUMILIATION – Dame Elfya

Qu’elle est son bût réel dans le jeu D/s et BDSM alors que celle-ci reste souvent méconnue. L’humiliation représente l’humilité. J’expliquerai l’aspect évolutif et le renforcement positif pour le joueur tout en ayant pour bût de construire une meilleure confiance et estime de soi

RENCONTRE LATEX – Maitresse Zyra & Malcye Doll

DOLLIFICATION – Steffy The Rubber Doll

DRESSAGE – Karen Chessman

x-post from Mystress Lady Evyl

A little while back I wrote a blog about how I wanted to start offering workshops to small groups about various topics within our alternative lifestyle. Well the timing of my plans and the new ALCC could not have been more perfect!

The Alternative Lifestyle Community Center (Centre Communautaire pour les styles de vie Alternatifs de Montréal) is a free and open space where like minded individuals can meet, share, learn, build and create meaningful relationships, discover, and seek information without fear, judgment, or discrimination.

Last night I attended the grand opening and it was a huge success. I could only come for a short while and got there very early. I expected the place to be quiet. I was wrong…at 5h20pm the place was already packed. Such a great sign for the future! Countess Allura, a fabulous wonderful lady I am happy to call my friend, is the founder of this center. Amazing my dear! I am so proud of you!

And yes of course I will be giving my workshops here. I am very excited. I already have dates on the schedule. So COME SEE ME AT MY WORKSHOPS.

Wednesday, May 12

7-8pm: What is Protocol – Lady Evyl (English)

Wednesday, May 26

7-8pm: C’est quoi le Protocol – Lady Evyl (Français)

Wednesday, June 9

7-8pm: Let’s Have a Ball -CBT Intro – Lady Evyl (English)

Wednesday, June 16

7-8pm: On s’amuse avec les boules – Intro au CBT – Lady Evyl (Français)

More about the Alternative Lifestyle Community:

We provide information, education, counseling, socialization, and support through activities, workshops, seminars, discussion groups, certified psychologists, drop-in hours, and resource materials.

We welcome all people 18 years of age or older from any religion, culture, spirituality, race, age, distinction, minority, majority, orientation, identity, preference, sexuality, that may be curious about, questioning, or living an alternative lifestyle. We also welcome those who are concerned, opposing, or uncertain about alternative lifestyles and encourage you to come to the center to learn more.

We encourage you to drop by and ask questions, familiarize yourself with the various activities being offered at the center, or simply sit on our comfy couch and read some of the literature we have available.

The center is YOUR place to call your own and feel welcome.

x-posted from Lady Evyl

Two weeks ago today I was at my host’s house in Raleigh North Carolina. I had been invited by Melequus to her home and city and local dungeon for a cell popping workshop. It was quite an honor and a pleasure to be there. Honestly so much happened in my 4 days there I am not sure where to start, what to talk about or in which order. So bare with me in this blog…just go with the flow!

Melequus lives in Cary county in a very cute and quaint country house with lots of land and a stable for 2 horses and is rented out! I had my own lovely room on the 2nd flour with a balcony. I am a city gal so for me this was completely different and I was gaga over the horse. This is horse country! Horses everywhere. In Quebec farm lands have mostly cows. Friday was leisurely and we drove around a bit in the town of Chapel Hill which is super cute actually. Its got a big university so it had lots of hip coffee shops and bars and all.

Danger was in the air though as soon as I arrived in NC…the coming snow and how everyone was freaking out about it…to the extent that both parties I was due to attend were possibly to be canceled. I am from Canada so even if the population there is very unaccustomed to snow I had a huge problem  sympathizing. The governor actually declared it a State of Emergency!!!!! I think I saw finally at most 3-4 inches accumulated. That is a flurry for me. But when in Rome….I did my best to smile and go with the flow.

But in the end nothing got canceled. Friday night a party was thrown in my honor at a Femdom dungeon called FAD…although the party was not a Femdom party as usual, just rented for me that night. An online friend, Nev, living in NC organized it for me and it was so wonderful to meet her in real life. During evening I also met rich. Mel had matched us up months ago on Fetlife in hopes that she would secure me an interesting sub to play with while there. rich and I had on/off communication and there was good potential. I did play with him that night and it was a very pleasant scene. he is not very experienced but seemed eager in his ignorance of what he liked or did not. Although he said CBT was something he enjoyed and I love CBT! he got quite a beating in the end, I got quite an interested crowd watching and fun was had by all.After our session he offered himself at my disposition 24hrs a day till my departure and also offered to drive us all to La Fortress the next day, the dungeon where I was to give my Cell Popping workshop. A sweet offer I gladly accepted since by now the snow was falling, La Fortress is normally a good 1hours drive and he claimed experience in bad driving weather conditions.

Saturday rich picked us up at 2 pm and we got there shortly before 4pm…the time I was due to start. I also never saw so many cars in ditches along the highway. Had it been nice it would have been a record attendance with 80 people signed up. But since it was the end of the world about 20 showed up…which is more then the normal monthly workshop. We even started an hour late as guest on their way called to say they were in a ditch but asked if we would wait lol. For the evening portion of the party about 35 people were present in total and as it was decided the day about 20 slept over as to not have to drive on the snow covered roads.  So it turned into a really fun slumber party and they had prepared eggs, bacon, biscuits and coffee in the morning.

La Fortress is awesome. Its an entire dungeon house in a country setting. The kitchen and living room are common grounds to socialize without play. The basement is a huge dungeon with about 10 stations. There is also a big medical room on the first floor and another play room and an attic. The workshop went really well and the demo was awesome too with my ’stunt-bottom’ being none other then Nefarious, Mr SouthEast Leatherfest 2009. I got lots of great feedback and 2 sessions in the evening involved Cell Popping. it was an honor to see people wanting to incorporate it into their play.

A bit later I did my 1st of 2 scenes that night with rich…a bondage scene with a bit of CBT, spanking, flogging and a wonderful mindfuck opportunity. We later had a 2nd scene too and I was just pleased by how well we played together and I just loved the submissive energy he was feeding me. The second scene involved him being tied to a padded ladder. At the end he came off the ladder shaking like a leaf. he said he could not remember the last time he had felt such an adrenaline rush. he may be new but has pain slut potential. I also incorporated a cell popping into our session. I wanted him to remember me for a while so I marked him with my initials on his hip. But this time we definitely had started to really feel a mutual connection. it was really nice having someone there with me, genuinely serving me, rather then a sub making an effort to please the visiting Mistress.

I asked rich to spend Sunday with me to give a bit of a break to my host who was by my side for 3 days now. he then took me on a drive through the country and the capital, Raleigh. I also asked to see the ghetto area as we just don’t have such ‘defined’ spots so much in Canada. Sure we have neighborhoods that tend to attract a larger number of particular ethnics but its not the same. Here its still has that old South flavor to it. It was not so bad and we did come across a spiffed up old police  car with a young dude in it. I got a pic and the driver saw me he was laughing and smiling. probably thought I liked his car when I was actually taking a ‘ghetto car’ pic.

After we went back to his place so he could shower before dinner. I picked his clothes, inspected the marks after 3 play sessions (lovely!) with Me and he showed me his gun collection as pr my request! GUNS…omg! Again, Canada is not a gun country. Sure people have them but you are not allowed to carry one on your person while walking down the street (legally). And honestly the majority do not own them. I have never been around guns. So I had to take a pic of  me with some of his guns.

We went out for dinner to a more traditional NC food place. I ordered a local wine and had chicken and dumplings (yummy). he ordered side dishes for me to try: pulled pork appetizer (excellent), creamy grits (not bad with the cheese), collard greens (meh, was OK) and corn bread (yummy) with Pot Liquor (gross). What is Pot Liquor you ask? It’s the liquid that is left behind after boiling vegetable greens and meat. rich told me as a kid this stuff was usually thrown out in the woods behind their house and no one would EVER consider ordering it, he found it funny to see that on the menu.

Sunday was a precious day spent in great company. It really made the trip. A note one play and the scene there. Fetish is non existent there…its just BDSM and they take it safely and seriously…they play a hell of a lot harder too in public. I am talk real sadism and blood play and all but completely done in a safe way. Honestly I liked it better then the current Montreal scene which is going towards fashionable fetish parties and pure BDSM night are getting more and more scarce. I hope to take what I learned on this level in NC and do my best to help Montreal find a more solid BDSM root again.

This last picture below I just received today from NC….it’s some of the last snow still found in Cary county from the ’storm’ when I was there. Too funny!

There are a few topics that seem to never get ‘resolved’ and thus are destined to forever be brought up over and over ad infinitum in BDSM theory. This is almost definitely a good thing. Its also most decidedly puzzling and complex, especially when one is trying to define themselves in the words of these discussions which are ever evolving. One of the ones that I don’t think willl ever cease to be discussed is that of what defines a submissive vs. what defines a slave?

I myself have puzzled over it time and time again. I WAS pretty comfy calling myself a submissive (in my bottomy headspace at least, as I am a switch). I had looked at all the ‘arguments’ and took stock in my own comfort levels in how the terms ‘fit’ me and came to the conclusion that sub was the best match for me. Many MANY people scoff at even that as I am fairly ‘not traditional subby material’,  outwardly at least. Behind closed doors is always a different matter. But this isnt about ‘them’, its about me and my search and journey through this vocabulary maze.

I attended a workshop on the matter at Unholy Harvest (which, btw, you should definitely check out next year!) this year where this topic was discussed. The topic came up AGAIN later that week in two different circles.In these conversations all my thinking was rather turned on its head. Prior to, I had placed myself firmly in the middle of the bottomy trifecta. Its not a competition, but so many view this whole thing rather like post graduate degrees:

• To be a bottom is to have your BA/BS
• To be a submissive is to have your Masters (oh the irony!)
• To be a slave is to have your PhD

(The view often is that a slave is ‘better’ than a sub because she is more devoted in some way. Its unspoken but palpable that slavery is the goal, submission is either posing or just a sto along the way to that goal. In short, submission is oft seen as inferior in some way.)

After the conference and following conversations, it seems ‘slave’ may actually be a better fit.

Is this the result of the deepening of my submission? That after 3 years with my Dominant that only now my head space has fully embraced surrender? Not a chance. Not a darn thing has changed between he & I. All thats changed is my perspective on the other perspectives out there.

I googled sub vs slave and found 3 articles that sum up the basic arguments between all the debate. Please read them in their entirety if you wish but here I am only going to quote the parts that speak to what I have stated above so as to illustrate where I found the  points of interest that changed my perspective.

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(this is written as ‘here is what they said, how does that apply to how I self identify?’ this is not a judgement call on how anyone else views things nor is it an exhaustive list of arguments or the only way to define this stuff, just how I puzzle it out for myself)

• As a sub: ‘However you have your opinions and your choices and you can still make them’;’ you have more of an option to stop’; ‘Say you do the dishes and pay the bills, these things usually are still under your control’; ‘A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will.  A slave initially makes a choice to obey her Master at all times and then submits to the will of her Master at all times.‘ – Ah the ‘brainwash’ argument. The theory goes that the slave is SO enslaved they cannot think in terms of ‘will i do this?’ and only do things on autopilot. I disagree. All the self identifying slaves that I know and respect all still make conscious decisions every day, they just always end up deciding to do what Master says because that is the life they choose. When you do the dishes, even if you ‘wouldnt think of NOT doing them’ its still you making your hands do the work. ergo: concious choice. I dont think any slave has ever woken up from some fog and said ‘awesome! those dishes got done!’. You know what are doing and WHY you are doing it, that isnt brainwashing.. its choice. And subs and slaves both do that. Verdict for me? nuetral
• ‘in a submissive role although you give up the control the power is really still 50/50 just in a different setting and under more intense circumstances‘ – First, I dont agree with this.. but for arguments sake:  I do feel a fair bit of control in my relationship but its because thats what makes his life easier and he ALWAYS has final say. That means I really have very little of the control, if any. Verdict for me? According to this, I’m a slave
• ‘Sex is usually a large part of this relationship and mostly where the submission enters in’ – well sex is a large part of ALOT of relationships, BDSM or not  so that isnt really an accurate qualifier. But alot do feel sex is the only place a submissive is submissive. Well, that aint the case here. Its more overt in our sex but its always there, 24/7. Verdict for me? Slave
• ‘Slaves usually are slaves 24/7. They may work but when they get home there is no distinction from normal day to a BDSM day, that person is always a slave from the day they ask for that.’ – Yup, that sounds like my life. Verdict for me? Slave
• ‘A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience’; ‘The submissive is a volunteer.The slave is not a volunteer.’ – Oh dear. If you submit to and carry out your Sir’s every order, you are obeying it. And we are talking BDSM slavery not actual ‘take you in the night and force you to work under pain of death’ type slavery here. We are all volunteers. Verdict for me? This one is a non issue completely. Nuetral
• ‘A submissive often has a list of conditions, rules, and limits that a Dominant is required to agree to before entering a session or relationship.‘ ‘Their submission may be quite limited in range, for example, they may only want and desire to release their submission in a limited fashion, for short amounts of time and within tightly confined arena’s. This type of submissive will generally carry a long list of rules, boundaries, limits, requirements etc. which they require the Dominant to agree to prior to engaging their submissive aspect within the relationship.’ - Limits? you betcha. I do not want my arm getting hacked off with a chainsaw thank you very much. Conditions and rules? Not a chance. Verdict for me? Slave (because I firmly believe NOONE, slave or not, is cool with the chainsaw scenario. i dont care how hard core you think you are)
• ‘the Master may have total control, then once the period is over, control returns to the submissive.  The Master only borrows control of the submissive and to the extent the submissive wishes and she controls her submission.’ This, to me, is a bottom. Verdict? Nuetral
• ‘If the focus is on self then you are a submissive, if the focus is on your Master, then you are a slave.’ – I still think focus on self = bottom, focus on Master = sub or slave. But going by this then, verdict for me? Slave
• ‘Being a slave means you are willing to be molded to fit her Master’s needs and to serve him’.; ‘Her attention is on his happiness. A Master is responsible for the needs and happiness of a slave.  She gives him authority over her needs and happiness.  However, a slave is responsible to communicate those needs and feelings.  The limits of the Master become the limits of the slave.’ - Yup, this would be me. Verdict for me? Slave
• ‘Often a slave is given great responsibilities within the relationship. They are given a general framework of limits and direction and expected to act within them using their own resources and abilities.  A slave is often asked to express her thoughts on issues or problems, but realizes that the final decision is always her Master’s. The decision made by her Master becomes absolute for her.’ – Yup, this would be me. Verdict for me? Slave
• ‘…the person that calls themselves submissive who prefers to seek out only casual contacts.’ – Nope, not me. When I do this I consider it bottoming, submission or slavery is not a part of it. Verdict for me? Slave

There is more, and I could go on and on. But this is really the way most of it seems to be going. Every single ‘hallmark of slavery’ (with the exception of no limits which I just personally do not believe exists for anyone) seems to be what I have been referring to as submission. So I should start calling myself a slave, yes?

Not really. The term slave, while now proven applicable, just doesnt seem to fit me. Its like that dress you see and try on and, yeah it fits, but not as well as you’d like. And as someone told me whilst giving me shopping advice one day, ‘if you dont love it, dont buy it.’ I dont love the term slave for me. So I’ll keep my submissive moniker.

And really, all of this is for naught. These terms are fluid, personal, individual and ever changing. So in the end its what feels right for each person and all the rhetoric and dogma surrounding it just doesnt matter. Be who you are and be happy in it. Let others be who they are and them be happy in that. Maybe your views dont totally line up but.. now here is the REAL kicker for slavery: If what you do and how you identify pleases your Dominant/Sir/Master/Owner/Mistress/etc.. that other person’s views have no bearing on your dynamic, so go engage in and enjoy that dynamic in your way.

As my wise friend giving the workshop so eloquently summed all this up:

‘I am begining to wonder if the red herring in all of it is trying to compare D/s and M/s and whether that just muddles the thoughts – where a comparison between power exchange and non power exchange might lead to more interesting analysis??
D/s and M/s are like crunchy versus smooth peanut butter they are much the same and hard to distinguish and yet….some how different to those that are questing for one specifically.’

Amen. I used to be a smooth kinda girl, these days its crunchy. Either way its yummy and I’ll take more please and thank you.

~kim

kink_in_motion

(my apologies for length, i cannot figure out how to cut these entries!)

cross-posted from The Enigmatic Angel

Be still my kinky heart.

I am always on the prowl to see where interesting BDSM Workshops are offered around the world. Recently, I added a new category to my Enigmatic Angel Lists blog: Tasty Courses & Workshops Around The World.

And of course, I have long been aware of Midori’s workshops around the world. Many local BDSMers have participated in her Rope Dojo workshops. And I’ve been subscribed on her mailing list forever.

And yes, I did know that Laura Antoniou and educator Midori were well-acquainted, seeing as Midori wrote an introduction to one of my favorite Laura Antoniou Marketplace books.

But here is an item sent to me through the calender listings of Midori’s mailing list,
that almost made my kinky heart stop:

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x-post from Mystress Lady Evyl

Great news, today I confirmed 2 workshops I will be giving at Club Sin. Both are part of the Sin Academy, an informative hour prior to the evening’s festivities. Click on the links to RSVP on Fetlife.

BUDGET BDSM: TOY CRAFT AND PERVERTIBLES

How to be frugal by making your toys and using pervertibles: with Lady Evyl

There is a myth that to be a good BDSM player you have to have lots of equipment, many expensive implements and a well stocked dungeon in which to play. But for those who are exploring, experimenting, or just don’t have $200 to shell out for a flogger, there are alternatives.

By being creative and crafty you can learn to make many of your required toys for play, and all this on a budget. I’ll show you what basic tools you need, explain a few techniques and give you a resource list to get you going. I will also share with you ideas of converting everyday items into play toys, called pervertibles.

WHAT IS PROTOCOL?

Learning to develop the proper communicative skills in the D/s community: with Lady Evyl

We all have heard about protocol – the unofficial rules of respect, discretion, and honor that we’re all supposed to know before we enter a specific group, society or even a 2 person relationship.

Within our community the basic ones are D/s Protocol, Play Protocol and Dungeon Protocol. Yet so many people are unclear on this subject.

In this workshop we’ll cover the basics of these different protocols, training methods, and philosophies.

You can also RSVP on Facebook, look up the events affiliated with the Sin Academy

Mystress Lady Evyl

If you are an erotica reader you’ve most likely heard of M. Christian, one of the best writers out there.  

Here’s a great opportunity for all the budding kinky sex writers out there to learn from a master of the craft. He’s teaching a writing workshop next month in San Francisco.  Here’s all you need to know–but if you want to know more, just ask him!

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