Recently a friend thought that I had written an article on fisting and asked could I send it to her to help explain the allure of fisting to another friend. I have never written such an article, but I have given workshops on how to fist. So I sent her my notes. That tells HOW to fist someone or be fisted but not WHY. Its a good question.
(the following is written with the presumption that the reader does in fact know at least the definition of fisting and what it entails)
So why do it at all? Lots of people see images of the act or just hear about what it entails and proclaim ‘You wanna do what?! No way is THAT going in THERE!’ It’s a fair reaction, as is someone saying ‘why do you wanna hit/be hit by someone?’If you have been in BDSM for any length of time most likely you have come up against this one. The ‘omg WHY?!’ factor is one of the first things we learn to deal with in this lifestyle.
There is alot of debate over whether fisting actually qualifies as sex or BDSM. I say it has reason to be discussed in both arenas, its not a ‘here or there’ matter of classification. It involves intimate bits (the vagina or anus) which to many, many people puts it automatically in the sex column. It also involves a lot of trust, communication, extreme sensation and control which to many makes it a BDSM activity. To me, it doesnt matter which way you are coming at it, ‘the play is the thing’ and that both approaches are valid.
Why do it?
Well, one of the most obvious ones is the phsyical sensation for the one being fisted. There is nothing else like the intense feeling of a fist in your cunt. The fullness, the stretching, the pressure, the ache and the ecstasy all happening at one time. Orgasming while being fisted is a wholly unique experience that no other type of penetration provides. The only words I can use to desccribe it are: more intense. And if you have ever experienced this, you know that these two words are a gross understatement.
There is also the taboo factor. Placing large things in small places will almost always fall under the ‘oh you shouldnt do that!’ category. Its that word ‘should’ that draws us in. We are taught to believe that only certain things should go in certain places and anything other than that is ‘wrong’ in some way. Lots of us like playing with the things people think we shouldnt, just because we can. The Forbidden Fruit Syndrome will never really go out of style.
The other main thing you hear talked about alot in regard to fisting is control and what that entails. When my partner has his fist inside me, I am wholly at the mercy of his whims. The slightest movement of his hand and I jump when he wants me to jump, cum when he wants me to cum, and feel precisely what he wants me to feel.. all with the slightest flick of the wrist. To have absolute control of a person is one of the more intoxicating feelings we can experience, and fisting provides that in a unique way. This control goes hand in hand (pardon the pun) with trust and surrender. I have to trust that he will not punch through my inner bits and actually harm me in some way, to feelit fully I have to surrender to the pleasure and the pain as a willing participant. Its power play at its finest, condensed down from huge thought clouds and volumes of words on the subject, to a hand and fingers clenched inside. It takes huge concepts and crystallizes them to a very small physical area.
As with so many things in this lifestyle, at the end of the day you can talk it to death and still not really have a grasp on the ‘why’. All three of these things go a long way in describing why fisting is something I do. But they dont tell the whole story. In the end, when you ask me why I like fisitng, my eyes will go glassy and I’ll mutter the child’s answer ‘I dunno, I just do.’ Again with the gross understatement. What you dont see or hear when you say the term ‘fisting’ to me is that blood pressure rush of sound in my head as my body contracts and begins to crave. It’s primal, hardwired and basic for me to want the rush, the sensation and the experience. In the end, like with so many other things I engage in, the allure of fisting can be summed up in one word:
Intensity.
~kim
Kink In Motion
Sometimes when you are itching for some play it’s a very specific type of play that you want. In our relationship I’m free to ask for what I want, but Master does not have to comply. Today I asked Master for some helpless fuck whore time. I wanted to be bound so that I couldn’t control what was happening. I wanted him to claim me over and over in any fashion that he desired. Used and abused, that’s what I wanted.
